Richard Thomas

I'm a pigeon and pushover, patsy and prey
Who's persuaded by pitches of grifters to pay.
I'm a con artist's picnic and flimflammer's feast
Who is fooled and finagled and flummoxed and fleeced.

I'm a victim of vultures whose ventures go bad.
I've been hustled and hornswoggled, hoodwinked and had.
I'm a sap who's been stung, up the creek, and at sea
Giving scammers and scoundrels more income tax-free.

I'm as lamb led to altar and cash cow that's milked
As I'm buffaloed, badgered, bamboozled and bilked.
I'm a sucker who's snookered and dupe being rooked
And a chicken for plucking and goose to be cooked.

In the dark and adrift, sinking deep in the red,
I'm a mark who is miffed as by leeches I'm bled.
Being led by the nose, I am cozened and coaxed;
Easy pickings for pros and too frequently hoaxed.

Shrinks and therapists say I exaggerate facts;
That though poorer each day, I should try to relax.
But despite expertise of those women and men,
When I hand them their fees, I feel swindled again.

                           ADDENDUM

Now I'm bankrupt and broke as the day I was born,
Feeling down and disgusted and shorn and forlorn.
But I just met a stranger who sure thing has planned
That will rich make us both if you lend me ten grand.

When I got home from camp today,
My parents almost died.
They asked me how I got this way,
And here's what I replied:

This little cast from heel to hip
Is nothing much at all.
Some broken shingles made me slip
From off the dining hall.

The poison ivy's not too bad.
It missed my back and chest.
Of course, I guess I oughta add
Mosquitoes got the rest.

I tried to eat some hick'ry nuts
And cracked a tooth or two.
And all these bruises, scabs, and cuts?
I haven't got a clue.

I got the lump that's on my head
From diving in the lake.
I should've watched for rocks instead
Of grabbing for the snake.

That leaves this bandage on my chin
And these three finger sprains,
Along with lots of sunburned skin
And sniffles from the rains.

I also got a muscle cramp
And very nearly drowned.
It's some terrific summer camp,
The coolest one around.

Of all the burdens I must bear,
My brother's number one.
Our parents really messed up there.
They've raised an awful son.
He's lazy, stubborn, rough and mean
And thinks he's boss of me.
The biggest grouch you've ever seen
And greedy as can be.

His constant teasing makes me sore.
He does it just for spite.
He cheats and brags and, furthermore,
He tickles when we fight.
Unless he stops, I swear someday
I'll punch his ugly face.
And if they'd let me have my way,
I'd shoot him into space.

But other times he's not so bad.
He's taught me lots of games.
He gave me toys and books he had
And calls me funny names.
He helps me when my homework's hard
And finds me when I hide.
He built the treehouse in our yard
And lets me play inside.

He laughs at every joke I tell
And gives me good advice.
He knows when I'm not feeling well
And treats me extra nice.
So, all in all, I'd have to say
It's better in the end
To let the no-good nuisance stay.
My brother is my friend.

At night the sun lies down for sleep
And crickets sing a tune.
The bullfrogs croak and creatures creep
Beneath the watching moon.

The masked raccoons and possums prowl
Through meadows moist with dew.
The fireflies flash, coyotes howl,
And owls keep asking, "Who?"

At night our school is still and dark
And evening stars arrive.
And marble statues in the park
Appear to come alive.

Our nation's flag's been taken down
And city streets are bare.
Awakened bats soar over town
As nightmares children scare.

At night I hear my father snore
And baby brother cry
As shadows slide across the floor
And trucks go rumbling by.

I hear a siren's urgent squeal
While I lie safe in bed.
My hamster racing on its wheel
And raindrops overhead.

At night I hear the floorboards creak
And neighbor's car meow.
I feel my pillow press my cheek
And night air cool my brow.

I think about the recent past
And plan the coming day
Until I fall asleep at last
And dream the night away.