Poems by Patricia Fleming

When the time came again to visit her there,
He'd feel that dark sense of despair.
He could already picture her sweet, gentle face,
Marred by that sad, empty stare.

Sometimes he'd wonder just where she had gone.
It was as if she was only a shell.
Most of the time she'd forget who he was,
Or she'd swear he was somebody else.

It was torture for him to see her like this,
Surrounded by other lost souls.
She was gradually losing herself every day.
There was nothing that she could control.

Her good days grew less and her bad days grew worse.
It was as if she had already died.
There were days he'd be willing to tell her good-bye.
She was existing, not living a life.

But oh how he'd long to see her again.
For a moment, to just catch a glimpse
Of that wonderful woman, so special and dear,
That dear wife he so desperately missed.

The cruelty of life was undeniable,
And the reality of death was a curse.
But watching that person he adored fade away,
For him, there had been nothing worse.

He wanted so much just to hold her
And together stroll down memory lane.
But the life they once knew stopped existing for her,
And she no longer could see him the same.

He held on for years, ever loyal and true.
She was still all that mattered in life.
And despite how much farther she drifted away,
His heart kept her always close by.

When that last moment came, he was with her.
He was there sitting right by her side,
And his heart filled with joy as she looked up at him,
And their love shined so bright in her eyes.

Time passes all so quickly,
Moments melting into years.
It's true, time waits for no one,
And the end is always near.

We live a life so tenuous,
So easily it's gone.
And no matter what we each endure,
Time keeps marching on.

We take refuge in the moment,
And we cling to every day.
We pretend it's all forever,
Just to keep the end at bay.

We hearken back to childhood,
When the world was filled with treasures,
And our lives and what the future held
Was beyond what we could measure.

When our family was our everything,
There was still no place like home.
And with our best friends by our sides,
We came into our own.

And though we took our private paths,
We all have kept in mind
That in life our greatest struggle
Is our battle against time.

Will we get to know what true love is?
Will we have the things we need?
Will we conquer all our greatest fears?
Will we fail or will we succeed?

And then as we grow older,
And the future shrinks away,
Our lives become more memories
And less about today.

We share our wisdom and our hope
With the children in our lives,
And say good-bye to those we loved,
Who once stood by our side.

But there's a peace in growing old,
As time becomes more dear.
And who we are and why we're here
Becomes so crystal clear.

And we see time is not the enemy,
But how that time was lived.
And if we took all that we could,
Or gave all that we could give.

For in our final hours,
As our time begins to wane.
The goodness that our soul's bestowed,
Is all that shall remain.

Live in the moment,
Just take it all in.
Pay attention to everything,
Right there and right then.

Don't let your mind wander
To what's coming next.
Cherish this moment
And give it your best.

Don't let tomorrow
Make you rush through today,
Or too many great moments
Will just go to waste.

And the person you're with,
In that moment you share,
Give them all of your focus;
Be totally there.

Laugh till it hurts,
Let the tears drop.
Fill up each moment
With all that you've got.

Don't miss the details;
The lesson is there.
Don't get complacent;
Stay sharp and aware.

It can take but a moment
To change your life's path.
And once it ticks by,
There is no going back.

In just 60 seconds,
You may make a new friend.
Find your true love,
Or see a life start or end.

You become who you are
In those moments you live.
And the growth's not in taking
But in how much you give.

Life is just moments,
So precious and few.
Whether valued or squandered,
It's all up to you!

I'm slipping back into that hole
And my hopes are wearing thin.
I try to take a different path
Still, I hear it beckoning.

I'm traveling on a rocky road.
I trip and fall on jagged stones.
I keep wandering in circles.
I can't find my way alone.

I could call out to the wilderness
And flaunt my tears and pain.
But my voice in all that silence
Makes me feel far too ashamed.

I could return to that familiar place
And jump inside that hole
And let it swallow me again
Body, heart and soul.

Deep inside that darkness
I can finally find some peace
And immersed in all that blackness
Perhaps I'll get some sleep.

There's no one there to judge me.
I feel safer by myself.
No pretentious words of cold advice
Of how I need to get some help.

Inside that cool obscurity
All that pressure fades away.
I escape the captious carping
Hidden in the words they say.

They may think it's all self-pity
Feeling shunned and on my own.
But they know nothing of my journey
And those battles fought alone.

And now that I've grown older
My sense of loss is more extreme.
I'm running out of precious time
To see the dawn of all my dreams.

But one thing that I wish the most
That now I fear will never be
Is to look into my mirror
And truly love the me I see.

So, it's best I linger in that hole
Where no one else can see.
The remains of all those battles lost
And what is left of me.

Purple veins strain against the skin.
Pale, translucent, paper thin.
Skinny fingers clawed in monstrous shapes,
Brown spots from years that she can't erase.

Now wrinkled and fragile, weak and sore,
So many things she can't do anymore.
Some days she feels she's been betrayed
By the cruelty of her advancing age.

She rubs her hands to ease the ache
And recalls the life they helped to make.
She looks at them and feels the loss,
Living a life bears a very high cost.

These hands that held her children near,
That gently dried their salty tears.
Hands that held her husband's tight,
That never let go against the fight.

Miraculous hands that protected and soothed.
Hands, they conveyed her every mood.
Hands so strong they could carry the weight,
That would never give up and never forsake.

Those hands that took little but always gave,
Hands that applauded each achievement made.
Those soft, sweet hands that gently cared,
For those sick or lost in dark despair.

Hands that fussed and fumbled that day
Her husband gave their daughter away.
Those hands holding tight as he slowly died,
Caressing his brow as she stood by his side.

Hands that rocked her grandson to sleep,
That gladly took over when others grew weak.
Hands that once held everyone that she loved,
And prayed for strength to our God above.

Hands that were always so willing to give,
Hands that reveal a life fully lived.
Small, feeble hands, now empty and cold,
These hands that each day will keep growing old.

These hands she now tends to hide away,
These hands that at times make her feel ashamed.
Grotesque and useless in her eyes,
They rest in her lap as she quietly cries.

But I see the hands of a hero so true,
A woman who survived what this life put her through.
A woman whose heart still shimmers like gold,
With the hands of a warrior who made her mark on this world.

To learn while still a child
What this life is meant to be.
To know it goes beyond myself,
It's so much more than me.

To overcome the tragedies,
To survive the hardest times.
To face those moments filled with pain,
And still manage to be kind.

To fight for those who can't themselves,
To always share my light.
With those who wander in the dark,
To love with all my might.

To still stand up with courage,
Though standing on my own.
To still get up and face each day,
Even when I feel alone.

To try to understand the ones
That no one cares to know.
And make them feel some value
When the world has let them go.

To be an anchor, strong and true,
That person loyal to the end.
To be a constant source of hope
To my family and my friends.

To live a life of decency,
To share my heart and soul.
To always say I'm sorry
When I've harmed both friend and foe.

To be proud of whom I've tried to be,
And this life I chose to live.
To make the most of every day
By giving all I have to give.

To me that's what this life should be,
To me that's what it's for.
To take what God has given me
And make it so much more

To live a life that matters,
To be someone of great worth.
To love and be loved in return
And make my mark on Earth.

These days, that moment haunts me,
That first moment we met.
You were a vision from the heavens
That I never would forget.

I watched you from a distance,
Wondering if you were for real.
I thought perhaps if I just blinked
You would suddenly disappear.

But I knew that there was no escape.
Your smile seized my very soul.
Your timid touch pierced my defenses.
My heart was losing all control.

Your eyes, a brilliant sunrise
From which I couldn't turn away.
Your silky voice, the sweetest melody
That played in my mind all day.

My love grew like a malady,
And there was nothing I could do.
I knew for sure the only remedy
Was to pledge my life to you.

I was defenseless but exuberant.
I felt in awe of each new day
And my constant thoughts of only you,
A sweet place I was enslaved.

Oh, but you were quite the challenge.
You did not relinquish easily.
I had to joust each day to win your heart
While you played coy incessantly.

But I would never acquiesce
From my designs upon your heart,
And once I proved to be victorious,
We would never be apart.

Our life became a precious journey,
Trekking through both highs and lows.
We were a family of adventurers,
A force against the world we'd go.

And as you lay there sleeping now,
Our life reflected in your face.
Each line and crease a testimonial
To all the love and strength you gave.

It tells the story of our children
Who brought us joy through long, hard years.
It reveals the hardships that we overcame
With grateful laughter and some tears.

Your eyes now opened to the darkness.
The light within those eyes still bright.
Your upturned face so pale and lovely,
My breath still catches at the sight.

It's time to face the grim reality
Of the fast-approaching end.
There is no future now for us to share,
Only those places where we've been.

My sorrow's heavy on my chest
As you smile up at me.
I'm just a useless, helpless coward
Pleading with you not to leave.

I have stubbornly resisted,
Negotiating for more time.
One more day to gaze upon that face
And feel your heart beat next to mine.

Five decades we've lived side by side.
It's been you who's kept me brave,
And if you leave me all alone,
I fear I can't be saved.

Your voice is now a whisper.
Your breathing comes in slow, short gasps.
In my arms you're like a feather.
Your hand feels frail inside my grasp.

Your words are firm but loving.
I must finally let you go
And be grateful for the gift we shared
That so many never know.

Then I gently kiss your cool, wet cheeks
And watch you slowly slip away.
I feel comfort in the peace you've found,
And in that peace, we'll share someday.

And then that moment reappears,
That first moment we met.
I thank God for every moment since
And let you go without regrets.

When I was young on rainy days,
Alone on my front porch I'd play.
I'd lose myself in another time
That I could create with my toys and my mind.

Tomorrow never mattered to me,
For that was where I would always be.
There would be no hurt, no pain, no tears,
There were no worries; there was nothing to fear.

But as I grew up and everything changed,
I realized that life was no easy game.
You lived by the rules that the outside world made,
And that feeling of safety would ultimately fade.

You walked a fine line as you faced every day,
Filled with constant surprises as you went on your way.
And your life could change in the blink of an eye,
And failure could come no matter how hard you tried.

You would fight many battles, as you tarried along.
Sometimes you'd be right, but more times you'd be wrong.
So many people you'd love and you'd hate,
But you had to keep going because life wouldn't wait.

And lost in that mess that you'd make every day
And behind all those senseless and stupid mistakes
Would be moments so splendid, so perfect and fine,
You would wish that they all could be frozen in time.

Cherished moments with family, the fulfillment of dreams,
Those brief special moments, and the boring routines.
The excitement of learning just who you could be,
And finding that happiness was not guaranteed.

Discovering, with relief, your niche in this world,
Achieving so much but still wanting more.
Through births and some losses, you'd survive on just hope,
Always searching for ways to escape and to cope.

And then there'd be love to nourish your heart,
And sadness and tears when that love fell apart.
You would go through the stages of life as they came.
You would grow up and grow old and constantly change.

You'd see beautiful things in this exceptional world,
The wonder and power of nature unfurled.
You would witness the kindness of our own human race.
But also the destruction and chaos we make.

Indeed as a child I had no real clue
About what was coming and what I'd go through.
And although I do miss that innocent peace,
I treasure each moment that brought me to me.

But still when it's dark and rainy sometimes,
My cozy front porch will come gently to mind.
And I'll long for a chance to just steal away
And curl up on that porch with my toys and just play.