Ghost Of You

I don't miss you, I miss your ghost,
The one I trusted more than most.
The friend I thought would never leave,
The one I never thought I'd have to grieve.

The halls still whisper now and then,
Echoes dressed as old friends.
Your ghost still wears a borrowed face,
A stranger standing in your place.
I almost answer, but then I see,
It isn't you...It's only grief.

I spent so long trying to understand,
Trying to hold what slipped through my hands.
But some things leave without goodbye,
And some ghosts are meant to die.

You'll never make me hate my heart,
it had the best intentions from the start.
I'll never curse how much I gave, 
it does not reflect on me how you behaved.

I'll never regret the love I gave,
The takers must carry what they crave.
I showed you kindness, I showed you light,
I stayed through storms, the darkest nights.

I gave you chances, I gave you space,
I offered patience, I offered grace.
But love without limits becomes a prison,
And forgiveness without change becomes permission.

I won't keep bleeding to prove I'm kind,
I won't keep leaving myself behind.
My heart is soft, but my eyes are open,
I won't repair what you have broken.

I won't hate the person I used to be,
She loved with a heart that was wild and free.
But that version of me learned the distinction, 
Between endless giving and self-destruction.

I won't regret the storms I braved,
The girl who fought, the girl who stayed.
But the hardest truth that I've had to chew:
Once makes a hero, twice makes a fool.

I am no longer everyone's cup of tea.
I'm gasoline - don't strike at me.
You lost the right to know my name,
Or stand too close to touch my flame.
I lit the match. I watched it burn.
These bridges aren't for your return.

You call them walls, I call them lines,
The ones I drew to save my life.
I won't apologize for what I protect,
Or beg forgiveness for my self-respect.

Go tell your story. Twist my name.
Truth doesn't tremble under blame.
The ones who know me see the cost, 
They know exactly what you lost.

You knew the girl who would give and forgive,
Who made herself smaller so others could live.
That girl is gone, and I need you to know 
I have become the version of me you'll never know.

I burned down the house where your shadow remained,
Watched the ashes carry away the echoes of pain.
The hazy smoke paints the sun a bright crimson red
as it blazes away every hurtful word that was ever said.
The nightmare is over, this chapter is through.
I am no longer haunted by the ghost of you.