Poems by Pat Fleming

Lately when I wake each day,
The sunlight hurts my eyes,
And when I think of yesterday,
I want to just curl up and cry.

It seems that life is getting harder,
My sense of loneliness extreme,
My sadness more disabling,
And the abuse now more routine.

I've discovered a reality
That has consumed my very life,
Which is sometimes even breathing
Can become a constant fight.

There are moments so exhausting
From the internal, chronic pain,
That death itself seems like a blessing
Because living life's become my bane.

I thought that age would garner needed peace,
A final freedom for my soul.
But instead, the chaos and the conflict
Have grown worse as I've grown old.

It seems that some of those bad choices
That I made along the way
Remain with me just like my shadow
And will chase me to my grave.

It only takes one other person
To change your life into a hell
And make your home a ceaseless battlefield
Rather than the haven where you dwell.

My compassion and my tolerance
Proved my most pathetic traits.
They were my vices hiding in disguise
That led me to my wretched fate.

I believed in love and people changing.
I overestimated my own skills.
I thought that I could transform anyone
Through my sheer intellect and will.

Now it's far too late for changes now
The Monster's reached his grandest scale
And compared to him in all his glory,
My aged strength and weapons pale.

But I discovered an advantage,
Which I hope to master soon.
Providing that this nightmare
Doesn't render me a hopeless loon.

I now accept my dreary prison,
And I accept there's no escape.
I accept that through this misery
My heart and soul I may forsake.

I have discovered that one's death can come
Even when their heart is beating
And that instead of fighting back sometimes
The wiser move is in retreating.

I will stay silent and invisible.
I won't challenge or debate.
I'll play possum for my enemy
And perhaps I will stay safe.

At last, my fate will rest with God above
And my perdition will be done
Whether the Monster meets his just defeat
Or my own eternal rest will come.

As the morning bell was sounding
We settled in our seats,
And Ms. Williams wrote upon the board
The list of work we would complete.

It felt like any other day
With no apparent change.
The sounds around me so familiar,
Every moment seemed the same.

The whispers of my closest friends,
A class singing down the hall,
Ms. Williams' soft, assuring voice,
And the squeaking of her chalk.

Anticipation of our lunchtime break
And my choice, PB and J,
Then back to work until the final bell
And the end of our school day.

But then in one split second
Our whole world came crashing down,
When the safety we all had shared
Was shattered by a booming sound.

That booming sound continued.
It seemed to come from everywhere.
I could hear some children screaming
And a smoky, egg smell in the air.

Ms. Williams looked so frightened
That my heart began to pound.
I felt myself begin to panic
As we all dropped to the ground.

Beneath our desks we huddled
While we held our best friends tight.
I closed my eyes and held my breath
And cowered there in fright.

I thought about my Mom and Dad
And knew that soon they'd come.
But then he breached our classroom door
And started shooting everyone.

Sally drooped inside my arms!
We were falling one by one!
Blood was splattered everywhere
As he wielded his big gun!

The world was growing darker now
And I shivered from the cold.
I reached for Sally's bloody hand
So I had something I could hold.

We prayed someone would save us
And take this monster far away.
But each moment we grew wearier
Until we knew it was too late.

And then the last bell of the day
Echoed loudly through the halls.
But instead of children's laughter
There was not a single sound at all!

The horror we endured that day,
The shock, the pain, the fear.
A nightmare unimaginable
To those of us still here.

Dust and ashes, souls swept away,
A city brought down to her knees.
The losses so horrendous,
Visions too monstrous to believe.

The devastating images
In all our hearts remain.
The destruction of humanity
Left us all forever changed.

The faces of those cruelly lost
Are burned inside our minds
And the mournful tears still resonate
Of those loved ones left behind.

The heroes and the victims,
The acts of courage through that hell.
The tales of stunning miracles
That each survivor lived to tell.

Human beings blindly reaching out
To save the strangers in their wake.
Risking all without a thought
Just for someone else's sake.

A ravaged, urban war zone
Now just remnants of mankind.
An incomprehensible catastrophe
That stopped all sense of time.

How could we ever rise again?
Was there a way to make things right?
Did any fight still live inside of us?
Was there any hope in sight?

We fought for our humanity!
We carried on for those we lost!
We kept on moving forward
For those who paid so dear a cost!

Decades have passed and here we stand,
Our flag waves boldly in the breeze.
It's our faith in God and country
That now brings us to our knees!

Names etched in bronze with pride and sorrow
So the world remembers them.
It's the power of their memory
That helped to make us strong again!

I lost a precious part of me
Where you once dwelled, dear friend.
A bond that spanned a lifetime
Came abruptly to an end.

Will my memories sustain me
Even now that you have gone?
Or will your image slowly fade away
Without your face to gaze upon?

I will never feel the comfort
Of your loving, warm embrace.
You will never make me laugh again
Until my stomach aches.

When my heart is feeling lonely,
You won't answer when I call,
And when I start to lose my balance,
You can't catch me if I fall.

I won't have your voice of reason
When I start to lose my way
Or your reassuring words of strength
When I'm feeling so afraid.

I will treasure all those good old days,
All those secrets that we shared,
So that carefree girl I was with you
Won't completely disappear.

I'll hold tightly to your memory
And forever miss you so.
But I'll trust that God must need you more,
And I will gently let you go.

I'm sitting at the window,
My cheeks are damp and chilled.
I feel melancholic and nostalgic
As I rest my head upon the sill.

The heavy gray and gloomy sky
Sparks that loneliness within.
It provokes those longing memories
Of sweet old times and dear old friends.

Those faces only slightly faded,
Tucked deep away with time.
Come rushing back with fierce abandon
And fill my heart, my soul, and mind.

Those days of budding friendships,
Bonds unconditional and strong,
Sharing firsts that built our futures
In a welcome world where we belong.

Blossoming through our anxious teens
And those golden high school days,
Helping one another
Find ourselves and our own way.

Moments of discovery,
Attachments forged to last forever.
Finding confidantes and cohorts
To share our secrets and endeavors.

Days of learning things together,
Finding our own perfect place.
Ways we find we are so much alike
And those differences we can embrace.

There's a connection that's created
That remains somewhere inside.
A comfort and a comradeship
That won't relinquish over time.

And despite how long the separation
When we finally meet again
We will feel that warm acceptance
That you feel with long lost friends.

Those days of youth are like another world,
And even when they finally part,
Those moments linger like our favorite songs
Whose words we can still sing by heart!

A single flash of a camera
And a moment frozen in time
Can never truly tell the tale
Of that child left behind.

She's that face in all those pictures.
She's someone I used to know.
She's that timid, loving child
From a million years ago.

She had an open smile
And a twinkle in her eye,
With a sadness and a reticence
She tried her best to hide.

She was an old soul with an innocence,
A fierce and fragile little girl,
Who already looked so out of place
In this predatory world.

The way she hugged her body
Betrayed her uncertainty and fears
And behind that penetrating stare
Was a knowing well beyond her years.

I can look upon her image now
And know the depth of all her pain
And face the heartache that is hidden there
And choose not to look away.

I am privy to her secrets
And the hardships she's survived.
I can feel her sensitivity
And her bewilderment with life.

She lingers here inside of me
And will until the end of time
And all her hurt and sorrow
Is also all of mine.

I will prove to her I love her
And will try to make things right
By protecting and defending her
For the first time in her life.

I'll stand firm for love of country
And I'll speak of her with pride.
I will be grateful for those freedoms
Under which I've lived my life.

I will respect her Constitution
And every right bestowed therein,
And recognize those rights belong to me
And to all my fellowmen.

I will try to know her intimately
And her lavish history.
I'll learn the truth of her transgressions
And all her noble victories.

I will observe my solemn duty
To protect this venerable land
And choose wise and honest leaders
Who hold her fate within their hands.

I'll keep abreast of all those issues
That plague my country every day
And accept responsibility
To be a conduit for change.

I'll speak out against injustice
And admit when she is wrong
And I'll stand with her, not against her
To keep her values strong.

I will never take for granted
Those brave who stand before us all
Who serve with grit and fortitude
When their beloved country calls.

I will treat this land with reverence
And help her be all she can be!
I will perpetuate her beauty
From her grand mountains to her seas.

I will not ignore the warnings
And I'll accept my share of blame
That all nature and humanity
Must be honored and sustained.

I'll look to God for help and guidance
When she seems to lose her way.
But I will never turn my back on her
Or her dignity betray!

And when I see her Regal Stars and Stripes
Fanning boldly in the breeze.
I will Admire and Acclaim her
For all she's graciously given me.
 

The sun rose in her radiance
Above fields of green and gold.
She embraced Him with her subtle warmth
As in the morning glow, He strolled.

He was always there to greet her
With His overflowing heart
And from the moment He created her
They had never been apart.

She smiled at Him brightly
And then proceeded with her work.
She must awaken all the Heavens
And those still asleep on earth.

But something seemed to catch God's eye
There among the marigolds
And then He lifted in His loving arms
An orange, furry little soul.

God so loved His precious pets
With their loyal, loving hearts
And He knew the sadness deeply felt
When it was time for them to part.

But then she saw God's smile fade,
So she opened up her worried ears
And she could hear this little fella
Shedding little kitty tears.

He was telling God the story
Of his sad, heartbroken Mom
Who couldn't seem to move ahead
And accept that he was gone.

Sunny was this kitty's name
And his concern was crystal clear.
His desperate need to help his Mom
Was sweet and so sincere.

Well God in His compassion
Kissed Sunny's head and held him tight.
He said I think I have a way
To make everything all right!

We will send another kitty
Who feels unwanted and alone
And has no one to love him
And no home to call his own.

And when your Mommy meets him
She'll feel that love that you had shared
And somehow deep inside her heart
She'll know for sure that you're still there

She'll know you always want the best for her
To be loved and to love once again.
And she'll finally know the love you shared
Will Never, Ever end.

Well Sunny licked God's soft, warm cheek
And bounded off with all his friends.
His heart just overflowed with joy
Knowing his Mom would be happy again.