Tennicee Reynolds

Sometimes I wish to forget everything, if I'm being honest
All the secrets you thought you hid so well, yet I knew
The overwhelming feeling of safety in your presence
And every tiny little detail that makes you you

Forget it all so that I may get so caught up in living that all of those memories turn to dust
Coating my subconscious and falling to the shadows
So peacefully settled over anything lying still like lazy Sundays when there's simply no rush
Yet surprisingly resilient in always coming back and never letting go

I admit I like to run my fingers over them sometimes
Like when I was a kid making little doodles on the back window of a dirty car
I always did love to draw hearts and cute little smiles
But I always neglected to consider that they might end up going far

Far...

That's how I've always preferred to keep things
Keep them at a distance
Don't touch anything
Only watch from afar for the sake of innocence

It's always been so easy for me; the hellos and goodbyes
But with you...
Ah, now with you it was easier to try to run and hide
All my best efforts becoming futile because no matter what I did you always just knew

And oh, how I hated it, too
How I cursed you for not falling in line with everyone else
How I wished I was invisible to you
How I practically begged that you would leave me like an old collectable gets left on the shelf

When I first met you I thought that I wouldn't have to worry about you getting close
I am not the type to let just anyone in
I stay guarded, keeping my heart protected with stone
And as for you, you didn't seem the type who wanted to make any connections

But you're more like a strange scientist
You know what I mean
Running little tests on me like some kind of twisted experiment;
looking through a microscope and analyzing everything about me

If you were here now I'd laugh about it and forget every tear that coated my cheeks
Trying to brush off the pain of gaining you just to have to let you go
Forgetting the cold nights when I swore I felt your arms wrap around me
But I know you and without me saying anything you would just know

You were so good at simply knowing things that were never shown nor said, though I will never understand how
Like when you became so irrevocably convinced that I wanted and fell in love with you
Ah, but if you were here now
I'll admit it took me a while, but in the end it was true

Once they were easy for me; the hellos and goodbyes
But with you,
I just want to go back to hello
Now with you,
I'm left fighting to let you go with goodbye

I don't believe myself
I'm freaking out
Becoming something I despise

I stopped stopping to help
And it hurts, no doubt
I'm losing my blue stripe

The one that separated how I felt
To keep society out
I miss how I used to fight

I'm almost solid, but I want to melt
I went against the crowd
I stayed in the dark while everybody was clothed in light

And that made me something else
I was a salmon swimming against trout's
And now I'm falling and I wonder why

No, I'm not giving up; not after how long I've dealt
With their preppy voices and I'll keep my separate route
Away from their lies and I'll rise

Above once again all by myself
I'll show them who I am, no doubt
I will not let them win this Fight

I will allow myself to melt
I will keep going against these trout's
And just watch me;
Watch me rise
...

Trust me, for I love you
Stay here with me, for I have been there when you didn't know what to do
Dry my tears, for I have kissed yours away thousands of times
Please listen to my words, for they will answer your cries
The nights you sat on the floor broken down
I was there holding and helping you find a way out
The days you felt alone
I was the one who showed
...
Look at me, listen to me
You're not alone and you never will be
For the Lord is with you
And I shall be there too
I can't promise everything will be fixed
But I promise we'll be there when it's all mixed
I am nothing but a mere mortal
But I have a heart of an angel
Everybody goes through hell
But I will stand beside you
Yes I am telling the truth
...
Trust me, for your trust has been broken
I shall stay here, for I know you have been left before without a word spoken
I shall dry more tears, for you have many more to come
Please listen to my words, for they will not make you numb
The nights you were broken, for the world was unfaithful
Take my hand and let me love you, for I am your guardian angel
...

I wish we could be,
But I can hardly breathe.
How do I face the day
When my happiness always gets swept away?

I loved you, still do,
But it doesn't mean that I want to.
You broke me,
Turned me into something I could never be.

Lost in confusion,
Frustrated with this illusion
That maybe you just might love me
And maybe you'd hope for what we could be.

But that's not true.
You couldn't care less about my feelings for you.
Lost and frustrated with all the lies,
But I can't stop seeing those beautiful blue eyes.

I can't get your face out of my mind
No matter how hard I try.
I can't take this anymore.
Am I really that invisible?

I could wait forever,
But time would sever.
You're gone,
But what keeps me holding on?

I see you at school,
But I feel like such a fool
For not telling you
The truth.

It's finally coming out,
And right now I have no doubt.
The truth I've waited too long to tell you...
I'm in love with you.