Poems by Rayna Palacios

I never knew emptiness
Can be so heavy
A desire to quench a thirst
Famished for a better life
Instead I emerged into a bottle of liquor
Till there's no end in sight
Trying to drawn out my pain
Cause I'm broken inside

Instead, I endure a emotional drowning

Who knew that Love
Would of hurt so bad
Can make you feel so happy
Then yet so sad
And at times a total silence
Can scream so loud
Still you feel alone
Even in a crowd

I never much thought
What the feature held for me
As I was Blinded from this "lust"
Then hurt with reality
I wanted to blame him
Yet, he insist that it was me

I was a victim of his system,
But now it's time that I
break FREE

I ask, why did you want to damage me?
My aching heart felt it all with blunt force.
So sad how you acted out savagely.
What's even worse is you had no remorse.

I was weak and emotionally drained.
I felt sick, I worried about my health,
Toxic but mentally had to maintain,
It was time for me to distance myself.

It was time to redirect my focus -
Find me, 'cause I was completely off track.
Silly me, crying upon your shoulders,
Didn't see you stabbing me in the back.

You took up space in my life from the start.
Now it's so good to finally depart.

There are people all around me,
Yet I can't help but feel alone.
And although he says he loves me,
He no longer lets it show.

See, I've been trying to find myself again,
Seem to have lost myself in time.
Empty thoughts inside my head,
I have a therapeutic mind.

My eyes are wide open,
But I refuse to let them see
Just how broken I truly am
From him not wanting me.

I hate that we fight a lot,
Wish we can take control.
How can I fix a broken heart
With such a damaged soul?

Waiting for you to call...
Knowing that you won't...
Hoping for you to come by...
Waiting...
But you don't.