Lisa E. Sheroan

My phone is ringing, thank goodness!
A smile across my face
I know it's mom, a welcome return
Home from some strange place

"Where have you been? It's been too long!
I need to tell you something!
What would you do if you were me?"
My fate would be forthcoming

Always right, always the truth
Sometimes her words would cut me
My heart would sink, my brow would furrow
My wish was not to be

Somehow she knew the answer
"I sense doom and gloom," she'd say.
I'd pretend it wasn't true
And go on my merry way

Somehow it always came to be
Just as she said it would,
"Something's wrong with this one, and
that one is no good."

"You dodged a bullet," she'd say.
Her rationale would follow
Pity those who crossed her
You might not see tomorrow

Catch up on our favorite shows
Poking fun at dad
Plan a weekend movie
Most fun we've ever had

My God, how much I miss her!
I need my phone to ring
I promise I will take the call
I'll drop everything

How odd she hasn't called me
I have so much to say
It feels so right to answer
So wrong to walk away

If she called today
I would not be surprised
I knew it was a dream
A nightmare filled with lies

"Oh mom, I know you're there!
Call me when you're through.
You'll laugh when you hear this!
Ok. Talk soon. I love you!"

Looking up at the moonlit sky
In the quiet of the night
I found a truth that stilled my soul
In a tiny speck of light

Something that I'd seen before
But never came to me in thought
It was above me the whole time
The answer that I sought

The stars I see formed long ago
A twinkling memory of their birth
Moments in time from lifetimes past
Finally made their way to Earth

The stars I see above me now
Were born before a time
Of love and laughter and of pain
Yet they still, to this day, shine

Between the space from there to here
That began so long ago
There in the infinite cosmos
Lingers on the human soul

There in the midst of the gap between
What my mind can hardly comprehend
Somehow I know my mother dwells
Still alive and still my friend

There in that space my brother lives
Traveling through the star-filled sky
Each sunset brings a chance for him
To find a way to catch my eye

If stars survive without love and pain
Sending light through the night sky
Surely there between the stars and me
Lives my mother, my brother, the sublime

Boom. Boom. Boom.
The rhythmic sound wakes me
From a deep, peaceful sleep
What could it be?
It's the middle of the night!
I'm alone in my apartment

Boom. Boom. Boom.
I get up slowly to investigate
The room is dark
The hour is late
Fear makes its way inside
And finds me where I'm standing

That terrible sound!
How do I make it stop?
Run and scream?
Flag down a cop?
It's 3 AM!
I'm alone in my apartment

The floor vibrates; the windows shake
Reluctantly, I cross the room
Am I testing fate?
Will I meet my doom?
My horror realized
It's coming from the alley door

Am I dreaming?
My heart begins to race and pound
Is it me?
Is my fear the sound?
In this old building
That once was a convent

I place my hand on the cursed door
Terrified of what it may be
A ghostly messenger?
A macabre delivery?
I don't really want to know
So I stand there draped in fear

Time slowly passed; the booming faded
Who or what was at my door?
On the alley side
On the second floor
Of a former convent next to a church
That I now call my home

Time for me to pack my things
Sleep paralysis, nightmares
I wanted to leave
I had my fill of midnight scares
And the rhythmic booms that shook the rooms
Of that dreadful, old apartment

"Aren't you glad you moved out?
It sure is a creepy, old place.
It's haunted, you know."
Wish you'd seen the look on my face!
I'm glad I didn't open that door
I kept it shut till it boomed no more

Stay away from 615 North Street!

A horse on a hill
Past the old railroad tracks
Just up the road
From the broken-down shack

I walked through the churchyard
In the overgrown grass
Alone with my grief
That old horse I did pass

He meandered up to me
No saddle to ride
Just a horse with no keeper
Now a friend by my side

We walked slowly along
Lost in sadness and thought
We traveled a path
To the stream I was brought

My mother's reflection
I glimpsed in the water
A moment in time
That we shared together

The lonely old horse
My friend for the day
Brought peace to my soul
In his quiet old way

A gift I was given
From a horse on a hill
A glimpse of my mother
In the water so still

The horse then retreated
In his slow, tired way
To his spot on the hill
His magic spent for the day

A horse on a hill
In my grief helped me see
The reflection of my mother
Was my mother in me

Can I really love anything?
My home, my life, the fantasy?
What trouble will it bring,
If I can't love anything?

Without her beside me now
Without him there next to her
What good am I to anyone?
Everything is just a blur

Won't change my name again
To them I will be true
My brother's sons I share it with
Won't share my name with you

Can I really love anything?
Or anyone now they are gone?
The answer now is no
So just go on now. Move along.

But somehow I love the flowers
Only blooms and leaves are lost
I know they simply slumber
They’ll return after the frost

I love the birds that do not stay
Will await their long return
They'd return now if they knew
The depth of my concern

Can I really love anything?
Does my heart have any room?
Waiting for the birds' return
Waiting for the flowers' bloom

As my hardened heart grows softer
As I inch my way into
A meaning in my life
The birds and flowers and you

I'll try to love the best I can
Though it's hard to see it it through
Can I really love anything?
Because of them, because I should, because I do