Poems by Patricia Fleming

When I was young on rainy days,
Alone on my front porch I'd play.
I'd lose myself in another time
That I could create with my toys and my mind.

Tomorrow never mattered to me,
For that was where I would always be.
There would be no hurt, no pain, no tears,
There were no worries; there was nothing to fear.

But as I grew up and everything changed,
I realized that life was no easy game.
You lived by the rules that the outside world made,
And that feeling of safety would ultimately fade.

You walked a fine line as you faced every day,
Filled with constant surprises as you went on your way.
And your life could change in the blink of an eye,
And failure could come no matter how hard you tried.

You would fight many battles, as you tarried along.
Sometimes you'd be right, but more times you'd be wrong.
So many people you'd love and you'd hate,
But you had to keep going because life wouldn't wait.

And lost in that mess that you'd make every day
And behind all those senseless and stupid mistakes
Would be moments so splendid, so perfect and fine,
You would wish that they all could be frozen in time.

Cherished moments with family, the fulfillment of dreams,
Those brief special moments, and the boring routines.
The excitement of learning just who you could be,
And finding that happiness was not guaranteed.

Discovering, with relief, your niche in this world,
Achieving so much but still wanting more.
Through births and some losses, you'd survive on just hope,
Always searching for ways to escape and to cope.

And then there'd be love to nourish your heart,
And sadness and tears when that love fell apart.
You would go through the stages of life as they came.
You would grow up and grow old and constantly change.

You'd see beautiful things in this exceptional world,
The wonder and power of nature unfurled.
You would witness the kindness of our own human race.
But also the destruction and chaos we make.

Indeed as a child I had no real clue
About what was coming and what I'd go through.
And although I do miss that innocent peace,
I treasure each moment that brought me to me.

But still when it's dark and rainy sometimes,
My cozy front porch will come gently to mind.
And I'll long for a chance to just steal away
And curl up on that porch with my toys and just play.

She waves for my attention,
So free upon the breeze.
The sun reflects her stars and stripes,
As proud as she can be.

She tells a tale of people lost,
Who came to find their way
And carried on through every loss,
To bring us here today.

She reminds me of the brave who fought
To keep our country strong
And shouts at me of victories
To right egregious wrongs.

She whispers to our children
Of all this country has to give
And begs that they stand up for her
And give thanks for how they live.

She cries to me of apathy,
Of prejudice and hate,
Of disrespect for what she stands,
And a Constitution we forsake.

She demands that I acknowledge her
And what she means to me
And dares me to imagine life
If she should cease to be.

And still in Glory she unfurls
And gives me hope again
For a people reunited,
And a country on the mend.

So each time I see her wave at me,
I'll stop and gaze above
And take a moment to respect
This country that I love.

The familiar rhythm of the cricket's chirps
Create the soundtrack for each day,
Echoing Summer's end
And that Autumn's on her way.

The stifling heat of the summer sun
Is now tempered by the clouds.
Those fluffy, cotton August clouds,
That soft breezes push about.

Shadows falling everywhere
As the sun plays peek-a-boo.
Losing her strength with each new day,
A sure sign that Summer is through.

As the lazy, care-free summer days,
Reluctantly draw to an end.
Excitement grows for what's ahead,
As school days and the Fall begin.

And no matter how the years may pass,
And how old I come to be,
I'll always love this time of year,
As it holds such fond memories

Of sitting with my childhood friends,
Recalling all our fun
While running, swimming and riding bikes
Beneath the summer sun.

And sharing all our hopes and dreams
As the future stirs us on.
Knowing as we sit on that late, August eve,
Summer's ending, but her memory lives on.

But there's also a haunting sadness sometimes
That I feel when those dark shadows fall.
And that my greatest adventures in life
Are just memories, now aroused by those sweet cricket calls.

I peek through blinds that are tightly drawn,
Shocked by the glow of the breaking dawn.
I shun the brilliance of another day.
Enslaved and entombed, I stay hidden away.

The night was long as I lay awake,
Anxiety choking like a poisonous snake.
My self-hatred grows like some malady
That I pray will soon be the death of me.

Being hated and scorned is painful indeed,
And that love can be torture, we all must concede,
But to be ignored and forgotten can vanquish one's heart
Until it's in pieces, just shattered apart.

To feel nonexistent is so hard to abide,
When you know that your heart is still beating inside.
And how do you save your sinking soul,
When you feel yourself plummeting into that hole?

My dreams don't provide any rest or relief;
They only replay my regrets and my grief.
I honestly don't know how I came to this place,
But it's clear to me now that there is no escape.

You may call me weak and lowly at best.
I'm trapped in self-pity, I must confess.
I long for some quiet, just a moment of peace,
But my negative voice refuses to cease.

My greatest enemy resides within,
But how can I battle myself and win?
I find this a callous, duplicitous life,
Not worth any effort to fight the good fight.

Surviving, instead of living each day,
Sheltered inside sturdy walls I create.
Fleeting moments when hope will linger so nigh,
But those feelings of wretchedness still once again rise.

Getting through every moment and each empty day,
Feeling lost and panicked in this chaotic maze.
Still not giving up and not giving in,
With my greatest fear being that it won't ever end.

If time exists in heaven,
Do you still rise with the sun?
Do you and Mom share breakfast
Before your day has begun?

Can the heavens hear your laughter
As you sit and reminisce
About the time we had together
And other people that you miss?

And Daddy, do you still take walks
Along heaven's seas?
And when you gaze upon the surf,
Do you remember walks with me?

Are your standing with those brave young men
Upon its perfect shores?
Finally by their sides again,
Your comrades from the war.

Do you gather with your family
Beneath heaven's glow?
And gaze upon those mountains still
That once you called your home.

Is music all around you,
All those songs you held so dear?
Do you and Mom still sing together,
The way you did when you were here?

Do you ever have long talks with God
About those left behind?
Do you tell him all the stories
Of all our grand and treasured times?

I think that heaven must be grateful
To have you there each day,
To bring your easy laughter
And your silly sense of play.

And I'm sure that God already knows
The special father you had been
And how I wish that you were here
To guide my way again.

But I carry you inside my heart.
You are never far from me.
I see you in my smile
And in who I grew to be.

And I'm sure that on this Father's Day
God will help you celebrate
All those dads who changed the world with love.
What a party that will make!