Poems by Pat Fleming

It could not be me he's thinking of
When he looks up at the soft moonlight.
And it can't be me that he's dreaming of
When he falls asleep at night.

It could not be my face that caught his eye
In the midst of his busy day
Whose beauty left him hypnotized
And at a loss for what to say.

It could not be my smile that melted his heart
Or my laughter upon the breeze.
It would not be the curves of my body
That left him limp and weak in the knees.

It surely could not be my luminous eyes
Or the touch of my skin so smooth.
It would never be just the image of me
That could trigger his amorous mood.

You see I know it could never be me
To catch a man's eye these days.
In fact if I happen to pass one by
He just looks the other way.

My eyes are not as bright anymore.
They're sagging and much too thin.
Surely, they're not the kind of place
Any man could get lost in.

My body has not aged gracefully
And my curves are far too plump.
My boobs are falling down to the floor
Along with my flatter rump.

Most often I feel invisible.
I blend into the scenery.
I'm far too old to "strut my stuff"
To get Prince Charming to notice me.

Right now feeling wanted and desired,
To be the woman of his dreams,
Is now nothing more in the scheme of my life
Than a thrilling and sweet memory.

Yes, those days of romance and passion
Have sadly passed me by
And now I just feel grateful each day
For the man growing old by my side.

I watch the hands on the clock tick by
And I wonder where time goes.
Will this be the year to end all years?
Well, only God can know.

Inside each moment of my life,
Far back to childhood.
I see the fleetingness of time
And countless battles I withstood.

Old age has brought me memories
Of those times long tucked away,
And empowered me to see the past
In a much more loving way.

Those scenes of pain and suffering,
Those lonely, frightening times,
Are testimonials of the courage
That it took me to survive.

Those disappointments that I overcame,
All those loses that I faced,
Created my fortitude of heart
And became my catalysts for change.

Each mountain that I had to cross,
Each storm that I pushed through,
Each failure that I persevered,
Gave birth to something new.

Every heartache and betrayal,
Each attack that left me cold,
Gave me chances for forgiveness
And more sustenance of soul.

I cherished every touch and hug.
I'm so grateful for the laughter.
I thank God for every perfect day
And even those that were disasters.

I treasure every single face,
Of my family, loves and friends.
Both in person and in spirit
They travel with me till the end.

It's been both daunting and exciting
Becoming who I've grown to be.
It's been a constant work in progress
To be fully cognizant of me.

And now I can say without a doubt
That I've enjoyed this bumpy ride
And will just keep riding on and on
Until I've used up all my time.

When that will be, I cannot see.
Perhaps this is the year to end all years.
But in the meantime I will give my all
So this world knows I was here.

I took a walk this morning
Just as the sun began to rise,
And the inky clouds encompassed her
And cluttered up the skies.

In the gloom I stood among
Those worn and weathered stones.
Stretched out upon the greenest grass
Each standing quite alone.

A morning bird was singing
Such a sweet and mournful song,
A tribute to those dearest souls
Who long ago moved on.

Ancient trees stood towering
Like loyal sentries standing guard,
Witnesses to all those laid to rest
And those surviving broken hearts.

The respectful silence floated
On a chilly morning breeze,
And the peacefulness embraced me
Like a blanket warming me.

Outside the gates, life carried on,
A siren pierced the hallowed air.
I thought perhaps another soul
Would soon be buried there.

I strolled around quite aimlessly
Entranced by all those words in stone,
And I realized that behind those words
Each had a story of their own.

I was glad I came to visit them
On this dark and dreary day,
And shared my story with them too
As I wandered on my way.

And as I reached the gates to leave,
Rain fell lightly from the sky,
And I swear I heard the softest voice
Bidding me a sweet good-bye.

These days, that moment haunts me,
That first moment we met.
You were a vision from the heavens
That I never would forget.

I watched you from a distance,
Wondering if you were for real.
I thought perhaps if I just blinked
You would suddenly disappear.

But I knew that there was no escape.
Your smile seized my very soul.
Your timid touch pierced my defenses.
My heart was losing all control.

Your eyes, a brilliant sunrise
From which I couldn't turn away.
Your silky voice, the sweetest melody
That played in my mind all day.

My love grew like a malady,
And there was nothing I could do.
I knew for sure the only remedy
Was to pledge my life to you.

I was defenseless but exuberant.
I felt in awe of each new day
And my constant thoughts of only you,
A sweet place I was enslaved.

Oh, but you were quite the challenge.
You did not relinquish easily.
I had to joust each day to win your heart
While you played coy incessantly.

But I would never acquiesce
From my designs upon your heart,
And once I proved to be victorious,
We would never be apart.

Our life became a precious journey,
Trekking through both highs and lows.
We were a family of adventurers,
A force against the world we'd go.

And as you lay there sleeping now,
Our life reflected in your face.
Each line and crease a testimonial
To all the love and strength you gave.

It tells the story of our children
Who brought us joy through long, hard years.
It reveals the hardships that we overcame
With grateful laughter and some tears.

Your eyes now opened to the darkness.
The light within those eyes still bright.
Your upturned face so pale and lovely,
My breath still catches at the sight.

It's time to face the grim reality
Of the fast-approaching end.
There is no future now for us to share,
Only those places where we've been.

My sorrow's heavy on my chest
As you smile up at me.
I'm just a useless, helpless coward
Pleading with you not to leave.

I have stubbornly resisted,
Negotiating for more time.
One more day to gaze upon that face
And feel your heart beat next to mine.

Five decades we've lived side by side.
It's been you who's kept me brave,
And if you leave me all alone,
I fear I can't be saved.

Your voice is now a whisper.
Your breathing comes in slow, short gasps.
In my arms you're like a feather.
Your hand feels frail inside my grasp.

Your words are firm but loving.
I must finally let you go
And be grateful for the gift we shared
That so many never know.

Then I gently kiss your cool, wet cheeks
And watch you slowly slip away.
I feel comfort in the peace you've found,
And in that peace, we'll share someday.

And then that moment reappears,
That first moment we met.
I thank God for every moment since
And let you go without regrets.