Poems by Patricia Fleming

The hardest part of getting old,
Is dealing with regrets,
Accepting there's no going back.
One chance is all I get.

Facing dreams that I once had
That never did come true,
And knowing they can't be achieved
And there's nothing now to do.

Recalling choices that I made
That clearly changed my life.
Times when I retreated
When I should have stood to fight.

People that I pushed away
Who only meant me well.
While holding on to other ones
Who made my life a hell.

Devoting all my energy
To the work I did each day
While investing little in myself
As my own life slipped away.

Not working hard on friendships,
Or on a family of my own.
So that now in this last stage of life,
I find myself alone.

If I had to do it all again,
It wouldn't be the same.
I'd live my life more for myself.
My priorities would change.

I would reach back more to others
Who had tried to pull me close.
And cherish all those people,
Who had cared for me the most.

I would not accept hurt or abuse
But demand love and respect.
I'd nurture those parts of myself
That I tended to neglect.

I would hope to have at least one child,
Who I'd teach and guide through life.
Who would hopefully look up to me,
And treasure my advice.

I would still find time to do my work,
One thing of which I'm proud.
It was my years in social work
That were my most profound.

But as for all the time I lost,
And the things that I can't change.
I have to let it go for good
And focus on the time that now remains.

For there are no second chances.
This is the life I made.
But I pray that by my being here,
I've made a difference in some way.

When I was young on rainy days,
Alone on my front porch I'd play.
I'd lose myself in another time
That I could create with my toys and my mind.

Tomorrow never mattered to me,
For that was where I would always be.
There would be no hurt, no pain, no tears,
There were no worries; there was nothing to fear.

But as I grew up and everything changed,
I realized that life was no easy game.
You lived by the rules that the outside world made,
And that feeling of safety would ultimately fade.

You walked a fine line as you faced every day,
Filled with constant surprises as you went on your way.
And your life could change in the blink of an eye,
And failure could come no matter how hard you tried.

You would fight many battles, as you tarried along.
Sometimes you'd be right, but more times you'd be wrong.
So many people you'd love and you'd hate,
But you had to keep going because life wouldn't wait.

And lost in that mess that you'd make every day
And behind all those senseless and stupid mistakes
Would be moments so splendid, so perfect and fine,
You would wish that they all could be frozen in time.

Cherished moments with family, the fulfillment of dreams,
Those brief special moments, and the boring routines.
The excitement of learning just who you could be,
And finding that happiness was not guaranteed.

Discovering, with relief, your niche in this world,
Achieving so much but still wanting more.
Through births and some losses, you'd survive on just hope,
Always searching for ways to escape and to cope.

And then there'd be love to nourish your heart,
And sadness and tears when that love fell apart.
You would go through the stages of life as they came.
You would grow up and grow old and constantly change.

You'd see beautiful things in this exceptional world,
The wonder and power of nature unfurled.
You would witness the kindness of our own human race.
But also the destruction and chaos we make.

Indeed as a child I had no real clue
About what was coming and what I'd go through.
And although I do miss that innocent peace,
I treasure each moment that brought me to me.

But still when it's dark and rainy sometimes,
My cozy front porch will come gently to mind.
And I'll long for a chance to just steal away
And curl up on that porch with my toys and just play.

Seagulls soar above her surf,
The sun reflects and gleams,
While people come from miles around
To stroll upon her beach.

Her touch conveys an icy chill
Through her stinging, foamy spray,
While her thunderous waves rush to the shore,
Then gently roll away.

Her blue horizon meets the sky,
The end cannot be seen
While her salty fragrance fills the air
And floats upon the breeze.

She safely cradles in her arms
The boats that bounce upon her tides
And plays coy with all the surfers
Who beckon for another ride.

She can distract us from our worries.
She can lure and hypnotize.
With the rhythm of her movement
And her beauty in our eyes.

She's a force that can't be reckoned with,
A power to revere.
She's a lovely, sweet seductress
Who we long to settle near.

There are no words that truly tell
The splendor of her face
Or recreate that feeling,
Of such a warm and peaceful place.

The ocean is a lovely gift.
She's God's great Masterpiece.
A miracle we can behold
That gives us reason to believe.

Sometimes I dream that I can fly.
I lift and flap my arms just so,
And soon I'm soaring to the sky.
Graceful like a bird I go.

I find a fluffy cotton cloud
And catch myself a comfy ride.
I cannot hear a single sound,
As slowly through the air I glide.

My silky cloud floats with the breeze,
Through the bluest sky.
Just like a sailboat on the sea,
With seagulls swooping by.

I look upon the streets below
And spy my friends at play.
I dive and dip and twirl around,
As they watch in awe and wave.

I feel so giddy, light and free,
The sun so warm and bright.
I think that I shall fly all day,
And catch a star at night.

But then the wind begins to blow,
And the clouds turn angry gray.
They growl and rumble as they go,
And chase the birds away.

And though it's fun to touch the sky,
I start to feel alone.
I don't feel welcome anymore,
I think perhaps I should go home.

So I lift my arms and tuck my head,
And drift back to the ground.
And when my feet are back on earth,
The rain comes pouring down.

Indeed I had the grandest time,
Up in the boundless sky.
But it's really much too lonely there
To live in all the time.

And though my friends looked up to me
And my heroic flying feats,
It seemed they liked me just as much
When I stood on my two feet.

So I'll do my flying in my dreams,
Where it's all just make believe.
And in real life, I'll stay right here,
Where I'm loved just being me.