Poems by Patricia Fleming

It seems it's been a lifetime
Since my brother went away.
I long to see him once again
And relive those cherished days.

When I was his big sister
And looked at him with pride
And thought we'd always walk through life,
Family side by side.

But in these years he has forgotten me
And left me far behind,
But still a day does not go by
That he doesn't come to mind.

He has a growing daughter now
Whom I know I'll never meet.
She wouldn't even know me
If we passed along the street.

But I have a rather silly hope
That maybe just sometimes
There will be something that he sees in her
That may bring me to his mind.

He may see me in her smile
Or in the twinkle of her eye.
He may hear me in the sadness
Of her broken-hearted cries.

He may find me in her laughter,
In those moments filled with joy.
Or perhaps he'll notice I am there
In the lilting of her voice.

He might see me in her anger
And refusal to give in.
And in how she fights for those she loves,
The way I did for him.

She may even have a walk like me,
That same, familiar stride.
I may be in subtle nuances,
So impossible to hide.

I pray he sees me in her heart
And in the way she wants to care.
We may even look at life the same
And have dreams and hopes we share.

Although she'll never know me,
And I feel that loss each day,
She still carries just a part of me
That no one can take away.

So perhaps in silent moments,
In just an instant he may see,
There within his daughter,
A fleeting glimpse of me.

How do I cope with the shame that I feel
And then look you straight in the eye?
And how do I claim to stand for what's right,
Then accept disregard for your lives?

I grew up in a place that was safe and secure;
Opportunity knocked at my door.
I never accepted enough was enough
When the world always offered me more.

The schools I attended were cloaked in pure white,
And I watched from their lily white halls
While you had to fight for the little you had,
And I was just handed it all.

The black of your skin made you different from me,
And I learned from the powers that be
That we'd never be allies in living this life
And should remain on our side of the streets.

But as I grew up, I became so confused,
And I wished to get closer to you.
But how could you trust a word that I said
When all I'd shown you was callous abuse?

How do I make some sense of it all
When injustice can't ever make sense?
And how do I seek your forgiveness
When I can't begin to know how to repent?

The cycle of hatred is hard to escape
When adults in your life lead your way.
And how do you face that those "truths" once believed
Were just words to control and betray?

I know I can never right all the wrongs
Or remove all the scars left behind.
But my heart feels the weight of the hurt that we caused,
And your torment encumbers my mind.

I ponder incessantly on what I can do.
I don't want to seem shallow or fake.
Is it enough that I willingly stand by your side?
Or are there far too many amends to be made?

I need you to know how sorry I am,
Though I'm sure it's too little too late.
But I want you to see that I won't let you down
And your hope in me ever forsake.

My promise is now to bear witness.
I won't leave you alone in your pain.
And for the sake of your children and grandchildren,
I'll fight for a world filled with change.

Your survival is proof of your courage
And exposes what cowards we've been!
And I long for and pray that one day I'll be blessed
To, perhaps, hear you call me your friend.

Our political views mean nothing,
There are no sides to take.
Both young and old must be prepared
To fight for all our sakes.

Guns and tanks are tinker toys;
Violence has no place.
Our enemy creeps silently
Without a single trace.

The world must share this battle;
There are no neutral zones.
We must stand united in our hearts,
Though standing quite alone.

Our basic need for human touch,
For now must be denied.
And we must find inventive ways
To convey what lies inside.

Our heroes aren't our generals,
With medals on their chests.
But those nurses and those doctors,
Who our lives we have bequest.

We wake each day to numbers,
Again there's thousands more.
Neighbors, friends, and family,
Our casualties of war.

We've lost things we took for granted,
That made us feel alive.
And now within our prison walls,
We must find a way to thrive.

But we never will surrender
Or let our lights grow dim.
It's our humanness that will prevail
And set us free again.

Those people who we've never met,
In places far away,
Must face this same relentless foe,
That we too must face each day.

And so we are united,
One people standing strong.
Pushing through this darkest time,
Until again we greet the dawn.

When I was young and insecure,
And desperate to be liked.
I tended to withdraw in pain
And flee instead of fight.

All I wanted was to get along.
Conflict was not my style.
So despite what people did to me,
I took it with a smile.

So whenever someone hurt me,
I'd stuff those feelings deep inside.
Forgive but not forget it,
Just take it all in stride.

But anger tends to fester.
It's not so easy to control.
Just like a dormant bomb that's lit,
One day it will explode.

I've suffered many sad regrets.
I've felt my share of shame
For releasing all my pent-up ire
On the ones who weren't to blame.

So I would not advise this practice
Now that I've grown old and wise.
I've learned a great deal in my time,
And there's some truths I realized.

In life you must be tolerant,
But you also must be strong.
You don't have to be a doormat
When someone does you wrong.

You must carefully pick your battles,
Knowing when to let things go.
Don't seek revenge or try to hurt,
For what you reap you'll sow.

Don't back down but don't attack,
Hold your tongue but speak your mind.
You can defend yourself and others,
And still manage to be kind.

It's important that you love yourself.
This is the love that must come first.
If you can't see how grand you are,
Then no one else will see your worth.

A good rule of thumb to follow,
Show the world by what you do -
That you will gladly give respect
But will expect the same for you!

How do you measure success in this life?
And who should decide if you fail?
Do life's sweet temptations guide you along?
Or in the end does your conscience prevail?

Is life just a game that you play every day?
Bending the rules for yourself?
Desperately chasing material goals
To the ruin of everything else.

Do you cherish the people around you?
Or do you squander the love that they share.
Do you take time to notice the efforts they make?
Or do you treat them as if they aren't there?

Do you wake up each morning just grateful to be?
Thanking God when you open your eyes?
And how many dawns do you gaze at the sky,
And stop to behold the sun rise?

How many moments in the course of your day
Do you treasure each second of time?
Embracing the sad and sweet that is there,
With the whole of your heart, soul and mind.

And despite any anger you suffer inside,
From the hurt and betrayals of life,
Do you manage to keep your own self-respect?
Or are you led by your own foolish pride?

Do you live by the motto forgive and forget,
Or consumed by the need for revenge?
Do you try every day to live open in truth,
Or is your life just a game of pretend?

For those who are young and new to this world,
So filled with your hopes and your dreams,
Take my advice, don't complicate life.
It is simpler than sometimes it seems.

For when you have reached the twilight of life,
All the answers are finally revealed.
And that searching and struggle that left you confused
With hindsight becomes crystal clear.

Hold fast to that childhood passion and awe.
Cling to each moment you get.
Let your heart feel completely each feeling you have,
And give the people you love all your best.

Don't waste or misuse this wonderful gift.
Don't surrender or grow too complacent.
Remember in the end it's all up to you,
And life can be all that you make it.

The moon reflects the fallen snow
And makes it light as day
I lay awake upon my bed,
As the clock tick tocks away.

A sound pierces the silence,
Perhaps a sleigh upon the roof.
And rushing to the chimney,
The clip clop of reindeer's hooves.

My heart fills with excitement.
Could Santa Claus be there?
I gently tip toe from my room
And down the wreath-lined stairs.

Then almost in a whisper,
I hear a Ho, Ho, Ho!
And spy a hulking shadow
In the trees' prismatic glow.

I peek around the corner,
And sitting in Dad's chair
Is Santa Claus in all his glory,
Munching cookies I prepared.

His cheeks are pudgy, rosy red,
And his eyes are kind and bright.
I feel frozen there right where I stand,
Bewitched by such a sight.

He seems a happy fellow,
As he finishes his snack.
His bulbous belly shakes with glee
As he gathers up his sack.

And then I see beneath the tree,
Toys of every size.
Everything I ever wished for,
Laid out before my eyes.

And there beside the chimney,
As he prepares to take his leave,
Santa gives a hearty Ho, Ho, Ho!
Then winks and waves at me.

Then suddenly he vanishes,
As the chimney shakes with soot.
And all I see at that last moment
Are his black and shiny boots.

I feel so sad and thoughtless
As I watch him cross the sky.
I never even thanked him
Or wished him luck and said good-bye.

Well, next year will be different,
For I'll be waiting there.
And when Santa makes his visit,
I'll show him just how much I care.

I'll knit for him the longest scarf
To keep the cold at bay
And a huge and cozy blanket
To warm his lap inside his sleigh.

And when it's time for him to go,
He'll not use the chimney anymore,
For I will shake my good friend's hand
And blithely walk him to the door.