Poems by Pat Fleming

Dear Mother, I've so much to tell you,
I wouldn't know where to begin.
There's so much I've learned in the years since you've gone,
How I long to just see you again.

It's amazing how now at this point in my life,
All your words of advice ring so true.
And I know now you spoke from that place where you came,
And from all that your life brought you through.

I recognize, too, just how hard you had tried
To prepare me for all life could be.
And surviving through my own life's struggles
Made me see what your words meant to me.

I regret how I took you for granted,
Just expecting you'd always be there.
Too self-involved to take time to see,
Just how much it had cost you to care.

There were times when I know you felt frustrated,
There was only so much you could do.
And despite how much guidance and help that you gave,
I know the hell I put you through.

I remember those days when you seemed very sad,
But I never took time to ask why.
But in life I've discovered when you give of yourself,
It can make you feel empty inside.

I know there were so many hopes that you had,
Dreams you could never see through.
Instead, you spent each precious moment you could
Trying to make all my wishes come true.

What I miss more today than that mother I loved
Is that woman who became my dear friend,
With her hysterical wit and her warm open heart,
And a loyalty that remained till the end.

If I could just see you for just one last time,
If I could just hug you again,
I'd thank you for being all that you were,
And for making me all that I am.

To see that face you've missed so much,
To feel that warmth inside.
To see how much you mean to them,
Reflected in their eyes.

To feel that sense of comfort
That you felt in times gone by.
To hug someone with all your might,
To laugh until you cry.

To escape to all those memories,
Those moments that you shared.
To feel each strong emotion,
As if you were right there.

To recall that sense of purpose
That you felt when so naïve.
And the world was open wide to you
And you were fearless and so free.

To remember all those special friends
Who have long since passed away.
To share regrets you each possess
And haunt you still today.

To reveal whatever pain you've had
In the years that have gone by.
And together feel so grateful
That somehow you both survived.

To know this person inside out,
Their past secrets and their schemes.
Who helped you through some troubled times
And shared your hopes and dreams.

To know your heart and soul are safe
And there is no judgment there.
And no matter what you say or do,
All they want to do is care.

To feel that love that makes you whole
And finally find yourself again.
No, there's nothing better in this life,
Than being with a long-lost friend!

When I was young on rainy days,
Alone on my front porch I'd play.
I'd lose myself in another time
That I could create with my toys and my mind.

Tomorrow never mattered to me,
For that was where I would always be.
There would be no hurt, no pain, no tears,
There were no worries; there was nothing to fear.

But as I grew up and everything changed,
I realized that life was no easy game.
You lived by the rules that the outside world made,
And that feeling of safety would ultimately fade.

You walked a fine line as you faced every day,
Filled with constant surprises as you went on your way.
And your life could change in the blink of an eye,
And failure could come no matter how hard you tried.

You would fight many battles, as you tarried along.
Sometimes you'd be right, but more times you'd be wrong.
So many people you'd love and you'd hate,
But you had to keep going because life wouldn't wait.

And lost in that mess that you'd make every day
And behind all those senseless and stupid mistakes
Would be moments so splendid, so perfect and fine,
You would wish that they all could be frozen in time.

Cherished moments with family, the fulfillment of dreams,
Those brief special moments, and the boring routines.
The excitement of learning just who you could be,
And finding that happiness was not guaranteed.

Discovering, with relief, your niche in this world,
Achieving so much but still wanting more.
Through births and some losses, you'd survive on just hope,
Always searching for ways to escape and to cope.

And then there'd be love to nourish your heart,
And sadness and tears when that love fell apart.
You would go through the stages of life as they came.
You would grow up and grow old and constantly change.

You'd see beautiful things in this exceptional world,
The wonder and power of nature unfurled.
You would witness the kindness of our own human race.
But also the destruction and chaos we make.

Indeed as a child I had no real clue
About what was coming and what I'd go through.
And although I do miss that innocent peace,
I treasure each moment that brought me to me.

But still when it's dark and rainy sometimes,
My cozy front porch will come gently to mind.
And I'll long for a chance to just steal away
And curl up on that porch with my toys and just play.