Poems by Patricia Fleming

These days, that moment haunts me,
That first moment we met.
You were a vision from the heavens
That I never would forget.

I watched you from a distance,
Wondering if you were for real.
I thought perhaps if I just blinked
You would suddenly disappear.

But I knew that there was no escape.
Your smile seized my very soul.
Your timid touch pierced my defenses.
My heart was losing all control.

Your eyes, a brilliant sunrise
From which I couldn't turn away.
Your silky voice, the sweetest melody
That played in my mind all day.

My love grew like a malady,
And there was nothing I could do.
I knew for sure the only remedy
Was to pledge my life to you.

I was defenseless but exuberant.
I felt in awe of each new day
And my constant thoughts of only you,
A sweet place I was enslaved.

Oh, but you were quite the challenge.
You did not relinquish easily.
I had to joust each day to win your heart
While you played coy incessantly.

But I would never acquiesce
From my designs upon your heart,
And once I proved to be victorious,
We would never be apart.

Our life became a precious journey,
Trekking through both highs and lows.
We were a family of adventurers,
A force against the world we'd go.

And as you lay there sleeping now,
Our life reflected in your face.
Each line and crease a testimonial
To all the love and strength you gave.

It tells the story of our children
Who brought us joy through long, hard years.
It reveals the hardships that we overcame
With grateful laughter and some tears.

Your eyes now opened to the darkness.
The light within those eyes still bright.
Your upturned face so pale and lovely,
My breath still catches at the sight.

It's time to face the grim reality
Of the fast-approaching end.
There is no future now for us to share,
Only those places where we've been.

My sorrow's heavy on my chest
As you smile up at me.
I'm just a useless, helpless coward
Pleading with you not to leave.

I have stubbornly resisted,
Negotiating for more time.
One more day to gaze upon that face
And feel your heart beat next to mine.

Five decades we've lived side by side.
It's been you who's kept me brave,
And if you leave me all alone,
I fear I can't be saved.

Your voice is now a whisper.
Your breathing comes in slow, short gasps.
In my arms you're like a feather.
Your hand feels frail inside my grasp.

Your words are firm but loving.
I must finally let you go
And be grateful for the gift we shared
That so many never know.

Then I gently kiss your cool, wet cheeks
And watch you slowly slip away.
I feel comfort in the peace you've found,
And in that peace, we'll share someday.

And then that moment reappears,
That first moment we met.
I thank God for every moment since
And let you go without regrets.

I took a walk this morning
Just as the sun began to rise,
And the inky clouds encompassed her
And cluttered up the skies.

In the gloom I stood among
Those worn and weathered stones.
Stretched out upon the greenest grass
Each standing quite alone.

A morning bird was singing
Such a sweet and mournful song,
A tribute to those dearest souls
Who long ago moved on.

Ancient trees stood towering
Like loyal sentries standing guard,
Witnesses to all those laid to rest
And those surviving broken hearts.

The respectful silence floated
On a chilly morning breeze,
And the peacefulness embraced me
Like a blanket warming me.

Outside the gates, life carried on,
A siren pierced the hallowed air.
I thought perhaps another soul
Would soon be buried there.

I strolled around quite aimlessly
Entranced by all those words in stone,
And I realized that behind those words
Each had a story of their own.

I was glad I came to visit them
On this dark and dreary day,
And shared my story with them too
As I wandered on my way.

And as I reached the gates to leave,
Rain fell lightly from the sky,
And I swear I heard the softest voice
Bidding me a sweet good-bye.

I wake up each day
On this journey of mine,
Grabbing each moment
Of my limited time.

I don't try to hurry.
It isn't a race.
There's still much to do
In this vast, vibrant place.

But the road's been so rocky,
The rain damp and cold.
I can't cover much ground
When I'm feeling so old.

People dash by me
As if I'm not there.
In a hurry to no place,
In haste to nowhere.

My feet start to hurt.
Now I must stop and rest.
I feel my heart beating
So fast in my chest.

But I need to catch up
Or they'll leave me behind,
If my body gives out
Or I misplace my mind.

They don't seem to see
They're just chasing their ends
And each moment slighted
Will not come again.

The sun's finally shining.
The birds are in tune.
The Summer to Autumn
Will pass away soon.

Most days that I travel
I'm all on my own,
Just revisiting places
And people I've known.

Days may pass by,
I don't utter a word
My memories grow distant
My life's purpose more blurred.

Some gloomier days
I don't get out of bed,
But search for my epiphanies
In my sweet dreams instead.

But alas I keep going,
I just tarry along.
I tell all my stories
And sing some old songs

I still share my smile
When I think there's a need,
Be a friend and a confidante
To anyone who wants me.

Still I wake up each day
On this journey of mine
And I thank God for the gift
Of a little more time.

Some days are better
While Some days are worse
But there's still much to see
And new roads to traverse.

I'm slipping back into that hole
And my hopes are wearing thin.
I try to take a different path
Still, I hear it beckoning.

I'm traveling on a rocky road.
I trip and fall on jagged stones.
I keep wandering in circles.
I can't find my way alone.

I could call out to the wilderness
And flaunt my tears and pain.
But my voice in all that silence
Makes me feel far too ashamed.

I could return to that familiar place
And jump inside that hole
And let it swallow me again
Body, heart and soul.

Deep inside that darkness
I can finally find some peace
And immersed in all that blackness
Perhaps I'll get some sleep.

There's no one there to judge me.
I feel safer by myself.
No pretentious words of cold advice
Of how I need to get some help.

Inside that cool obscurity
All that pressure fades away.
I escape the captious carping
Hidden in the words they say.

They may think it's all self-pity
Feeling shunned and on my own.
But they know nothing of my journey
And those battles fought alone.

And now that I've grown older
My sense of loss is more extreme.
I'm running out of precious time
To see the dawn of all my dreams.

But one thing that I wish the most
That now I fear will never be
Is to look into my mirror
And truly love the me I see.

So, it's best I linger in that hole
Where no one else can see.
The remains of all those battles lost
And what is left of me.