Rayne

The pain is so strong that I can't bare
It's clear God isn't answering my prayer
Another pitiful attempt to clear my head
My tears stain the silky material of my bed
No one listens, no one really cares
I have been damaged beyond repair
I know my parents won't care if I'm alone, crying
I've tried to be a good daughter; yes I've been trying
I ball up in the corner of my darkened room
My face stiff and my eyes full of gloom
Suddenly my heart gives way and I feel numb
I knew I was through; I knew I was done
I've had enough pain, rage, and fright
I've decided it all ends tonight
I got up to my desk to write one last note
What I felt is what I wrote
I wrote how much I loved my Dad and  my Mom
I never knew I could be so calm
I stumble to the bathroom door
Not before opening up my drawer
And picking my amazingly sharp knife
With this I will end my life
I locked myself in the bathroom and filled the bathtub with water
By midnight, this family will have one less daughter
I did what I had to do with my note beside me
My blood level dropped to a serious degree
I died that night in a bathtub of my own blood
I never noticed how much my bathroom could flood
My parents came barging through the door
In my blurry vision I saw my mother drop to the floor
My father scooped me up and tried to bring me back with tears in his eyes
His eyes held worries and so much love; no lies
My mother was besides me; screaming, I could tell she was scared
They were both crying, I never knew they really cared
The pain is so strong, it's almost relieving
I know my soul fading away; I'm leaving
I whispered, "Mom, Dad ... I love you so much"
As I felt my last touch
When someone tells you something's wrong; please don't let it dismiss
Please, listen to them; don't let it come to this

I smile and laugh wildly, having fun with my friends.
They don't know what huge lie I have to pretend.
To my friends, I'm the funny girl who's so full of life.
They don't know how many times I'd held a bloody knife.
To them, I'm the girl who loves to strut down the street.
They don't know that I feel so incomplete.
To my friends, my laughter can spread.
They don't know that inside, my happiness is dead.
To my friends, my smile can brightened up their day.
They don't know I've shut my feelings away.
I'm locked in a prison, one I cannot escape,
A place my soul is repeatedly raped.
In the prison, there is no love, there is no spark.
I'm all alone, tired, desperate, and left in the dark.
In the dark, there is a monster waiting painfully for the kill.
The danger sends out a terrifying chill.
I've faced the monster before, so I know its disguise.
My spirit breaks down further, silently releasing its cries.
I knows it's no one's fault; I'm the one to blame,
Because I'm the only one who's causing myself this pain.

Smartest, hottest, most popular girl
She flashes a smile that would make your vision swirl
Silky brown hair down to her waist
Everyone she meets, she will embrace
Such a perfect girl with a warm, kind heart
No one knows the secrets that tears her apart

Perfect tan skin that never ceases to amuse
Choosing clothes that will hide the bruises
Strutting down the halls with unbeatable grace
No one knows the torture she has to face
She watched the clock with a sad, broken face
As soon someone approaches, the smile is back in place

When she comes home, it is impossible to smile
He breaks her body and spirit in such a violent style
She arrives home, desperately hoping he wasn't there
As he calls her from his room, her eyes fills with despair
Her eyes start watering, knowing what is to come
Just imagining the bloody mess she was to become

Her body shaking, she heads up the stairs
Hoping God will answer her prayers
She starts stripping her clothes along the way
Again, not knowing if it was her last day
She reaches his room, not daring to look in his eyes
Silently crying, as he runs his hands up her thighs

He lays her down and the painful sting returns
No matter how many times it happens, it still burns
It continues for hours, then it comes to an end
She wakes up the next morning, sore, ready to pretend   
That she is perfect, that she is okay
Putting on makeup and shutting the pain away

She fixes herself and looks in the mirror
"That's not me", the thought becomes clearer
Her trademark smile is in perfect place
The sadness is blocked away from her face
She feels she could collapse under the strain
She heads out the door, repeating the cycle again