Shirley J. Stankiewicz

Colors of dark grey and black fill the world in which I live
No other feeling could possibly be worse than this
Where once was a room filled with laughter and cheer
Now stands loneliness, emptiness, and despair

Memories of you seem to creep around the corners of my mind
Endless haunting images of your face that won't decline
An overwhelming of emotion that my body can't contain
Fills my soul with unbearable grief, sorrow, and pain

Oh, how I long to hold you in my arms just once more
And tell you that things will be again, as they were before
But, as reality sinks in, I know that will never be
For the choices that I've made in my life have sealed our destiny

No one could ever fathom how wretchedly my heart aches
And how I greatly regret that you've had to pay for my mistakes
If I could go back in time, and change only one wrong that I've done
I'd go back to the hour, to the second, on the day I lost you, my son

(Ode to Alcohol)
The queasy feeling in my stomach
The pounding in my head
The only thoughts in my mind
Were wishing I was dead

My forehead covered in cold sweats
Body shakes beyond control
The endless aching in my bones
As you consumed my very soul

The minutes turned into hours
The hours turned into days
suddenly, every moment that I ever lived
Was just a smoke filled haze

As I watched my body waste away
And my life slowly coming to an end
I realized. That I was wrong
You're the devil & not my friend

So, I'm taking back what's left of my life
Not one more second will you dominate
I'll bet the strength that lives in me
You didn't anticipate

Cast you spell on someone else
Find another unsuspecting prey
I came to live, NOT to die
And my life begins TODAY...

Sent straight from heaven up above
Came an angel for me to love
To hold and rock and kiss good night
To wrap my arms around real tight

To cuddle and nurture and watch him play
To kiss his boo-boos all away
To keep him safe and warm and count all his toes
To hold the tissue for him when he blows his little nose

To laugh at his jokes, to clap as he sings
To tell him all the joy in my life that he brings
To clean up his play dough, to pull his legos apart
To pin up his drawings and tell him it's art

To watch his first day of school on the bus all alone
To fight back the tears as I make my way back home
To applaud real loud when he's in his first play
To help him with his homework at the end of his day

To adore and cherish and watch him grow
To guide and teach him all that I know
To see him through good times and help him through bad
To share in his happiness and cry when he's sad

To hold him close and be by his side
To watch him through life as my heart fills with pride
To help him with decisions the best that I can
To know that someday he'll be a fine young man