Poems by Patricia Fleming

These days, that moment haunts me,
That first moment we met.
You were a vision from the heavens
That I never would forget.

I watched you from a distance,
Wondering if you were for real.
I thought perhaps if I just blinked
You would suddenly disappear.

But I knew that there was no escape.
Your smile seized my very soul.
Your timid touch pierced my defenses.
My heart was losing all control.

Your eyes, a brilliant sunrise
From which I couldn't turn away.
Your silky voice, the sweetest melody
That played in my mind all day.

My love grew like a malady,
And there was nothing I could do.
I knew for sure the only remedy
Was to pledge my life to you.

I was defenseless but exuberant.
I felt in awe of each new day
And my constant thoughts of only you,
A sweet place I was enslaved.

Oh, but you were quite the challenge.
You did not relinquish easily.
I had to joust each day to win your heart
While you played coy incessantly.

But I would never acquiesce
From my designs upon your heart,
And once I proved to be victorious,
We would never be apart.

Our life became a precious journey,
Trekking through both highs and lows.
We were a family of adventurers,
A force against the world we'd go.

And as you lay there sleeping now,
Our life reflected in your face.
Each line and crease a testimonial
To all the love and strength you gave.

It tells the story of our children
Who brought us joy through long, hard years.
It reveals the hardships that we overcame
With grateful laughter and some tears.

Your eyes now opened to the darkness.
The light within those eyes still bright.
Your upturned face so pale and lovely,
My breath still catches at the sight.

It's time to face the grim reality
Of the fast-approaching end.
There is no future now for us to share,
Only those places where we've been.

My sorrow's heavy on my chest
As you smile up at me.
I'm just a useless, helpless coward
Pleading with you not to leave.

I have stubbornly resisted,
Negotiating for more time.
One more day to gaze upon that face
And feel your heart beat next to mine.

Five decades we've lived side by side.
It's been you who's kept me brave,
And if you leave me all alone,
I fear I can't be saved.

Your voice is now a whisper.
Your breathing comes in slow, short gasps.
In my arms you're like a feather.
Your hand feels frail inside my grasp.

Your words are firm but loving.
I must finally let you go
And be grateful for the gift we shared
That so many never know.

Then I gently kiss your cool, wet cheeks
And watch you slowly slip away.
I feel comfort in the peace you've found,
And in that peace, we'll share someday.

And then that moment reappears,
That first moment we met.
I thank God for every moment since
And let you go without regrets.

I'm slipping back into that hole
And my hopes are wearing thin.
I try to take a different path
Still, I hear it beckoning.

I'm traveling on a rocky road.
I trip and fall on jagged stones.
I keep wandering in circles.
I can't find my way alone.

I could call out to the wilderness
And flaunt my tears and pain.
But my voice in all that silence
Makes me feel far too ashamed.

I could return to that familiar place
And jump inside that hole
And let it swallow me again
Body, heart and soul.

Deep inside that darkness
I can finally find some peace
And immersed in all that blackness
Perhaps I'll get some sleep.

There's no one there to judge me.
I feel safer by myself.
No pretentious words of cold advice
Of how I need to get some help.

Inside that cool obscurity
All that pressure fades away.
I escape the captious carping
Hidden in the words they say.

They may think it's all self-pity
Feeling shunned and on my own.
But they know nothing of my journey
And those battles fought alone.

And now that I've grown older
My sense of loss is more extreme.
I'm running out of precious time
To see the dawn of all my dreams.

But one thing that I wish the most
That now I fear will never be
Is to look into my mirror
And truly love the me I see.

So, it's best I linger in that hole
Where no one else can see.
The remains of all those battles lost
And what is left of me.

The years have passed on Rocky Mountains.
It's been a steep and harrowing climb.
Along the way we've lost our footing.
We've faced the best and worst of times.

We know each other inside and out,
Each secret, sin and scar.
We accept those flaws and frailties,
Who we've been and who we are.

With you, I've laughed the hardest.
For you, I've shed the biggest tears.
You've been my comfort at the saddest times,
And you've kept me safe from all my fears.

We have shared our love of nature,
The falling snow and rolling seas.
We've hiked through wending, forest trails
In a chilly autumn breeze.

We've traveled to the mountain tops,
We glided ore' the ocean's waves.
We stood before the New York skyline
And watched a million sunsets fade.

You've been there through all my losses.
It was you who helped me cope.
And I've been right there by your side
When you've needed me the most.

We've struggled through the bad times
By clinging to the good.
The fact that love could sometimes be hard work
Was a truth we always understood.

Yes, the years have passed so quickly.
Another Valentine's Day is here.
And I'm writing you these heartfelt words,
Which are honest and sincere.

We've weathered every single storm
And still we rose again.
I've loved you now for half my life,
And I will love you till the end.

There's an early morning stillness,
A pure, pastoral peace.
A silence so consuming
It sedates and comforts me.

Each sound so hushed and yielding
As if on tip toes nature wakes.
It whispers soft and gently
That it's time to seize the day.

The trills and twitters of the early birds,
The crickets' mesmerizing hum.
The tickling of my eyelids 
By the timid, softer sun.

I gaze outside my window
And let the breeze caress my face,
It's chilly touch so welcoming
That I swoon in its sweet embrace.

The harsh, determined summer sun
Has grown weary and withdrawn,
And a shy and temperate autumn sun
Arrives with the rosy dawn.

It peeks through billowy cotton clouds
And casts shadows everywhere.
The earthy, musky scents of fall
Pervades the fresh, crisp air.

I feel so full and more alive,
No longer crushed by stifling heat.
I need to commune with nature again
Instead of making a fast retreat.

The pumpkins on my front porch stoop,
The crimson, russet leaves.
Hikes through the dense and piney woods
Upon paths that wend and weave.

Hayrides through the farmer's fields,
Cuddled by the fireside,
Eating candy by the five-pound bag
While taking a scenic drive.

All those classic horror movies
That help create the atmosphere,
For those ghost and ghouls of Halloween
To once again appear.

I can feel my heart so filled with thrills,
It's like I'm born again.
The only thought that cramps my style
Is that too quickly it will end.

But hail to the brilliant season of fall,
The most perfect time to me.
Immersed in her colors, aromas, and scares
Is right where I long be!