Poems by Pat Fleming

Outside my bedroom window
Stands an old majestic tree.
She's been standing there for decades,
Just as proud as she can be.

And every morning when I wake,
She's the first thing I see.
This lovely constant in my life,
So magnificent and free.

I can see the early, rising sun
Peeking through her lush green leaves.
I can hear her moving gently,
In the summer's warming breeze.

She has a personality
That she wants the world to see.
And her moods are ever changing
Behind her silent dignity.

She responds to every season,
In her own unfettered way.
All we have to do is gaze at her
To know what season's on its way.

In the Spring she comes alive again,
As her leaves begin to bloom.
And beneath the sun's attention,
You can almost see her swoon.

And in the heat of the summertime,
When her joy is magnified.
She has never looked more beautiful,
All "decked out to the nines."

And when the Fall comes creeping in,
And a chill floats on the breeze,
She prefers to don more earthy tones,
And does just what she please.

But when the Winter's looming large,
It's impossible to hide
As her barren limbs droop soulfully.
They betray her grief inside.

She's stood by me through all my days.
She's watched me laugh and cry.
She's listened so intently
While I've pondered on my life.

And when I see her dank and weary,
I will sit with her sometimes.
And all the years we've shared together
Will come rushing back to mind.

But both of us are strong and true.
We've become the closest friends,
And we will weather every storm
Together till the end.

The hardest part of getting old,
Is dealing with regrets,
Accepting there's no going back.
One chance is all I get.

Facing dreams that I once had
That never did come true,
And knowing they can't be achieved
And there's nothing now to do.

Recalling choices that I made
That clearly changed my life.
Times when I retreated
When I should have stood to fight.

People that I pushed away
Who only meant me well.
While holding on to other ones
Who made my life a hell.

Devoting all my energy
To the work I did each day
While investing little in myself
As my own life slipped away.

Not working hard on friendships,
Or on a family of my own.
So that now in this last stage of life,
I find myself alone.

If I had to do it all again,
It wouldn't be the same.
I'd live my life more for myself.
My priorities would change.

I would reach back more to others
Who had tried to pull me close.
And cherish all those people,
Who had cared for me the most.

I would not accept hurt or abuse
But demand love and respect.
I'd nurture those parts of myself
That I tended to neglect.

I would hope to have at least one child,
Who I'd teach and guide through life.
Who would hopefully look up to me,
And treasure my advice.

I would still find time to do my work,
One thing of which I'm proud.
It was my years in social work
That were my most profound.

But as for all the time I lost,
And the things that I can't change.
I have to let it go for good
And focus on the time that now remains.

For there are no second chances.
This is the life I made.
But I pray that by my being here,
I've made a difference in some way.

Some people view forgiveness
As a virtue for the weak.
An act of mercy undeserved,
That serves no useful need.

They stand firmly in their judgment
And won't consider a mistake.
They prefer to hold a senseless grudge
Than accept amends when made.

They feel they have some godly right
To reject and criticize.
They're possessed by righteous anger,
And consumed by pointless pride.

They're focused on how they've been wronged,
And won't be made the fool again.
So they feel they must avenge themselves
By refusing to give in.

They will sacrifice their family,
Or forsake a long-time friend.
Do anything they have to do
To be the winner in the end.

Or perhaps it's that they can't resolve
The depth of all their hurt,
Caused when someone they've trusted,
Left them questioning their worth.

But no matter why the struggle,
Out of pride or out of fear,
Not being able to forgive
Can cause the loss of ones most dear.

Yes, forgiveness is a virtue,
They even say it is divine.
But more than that it sets you free
From what weighs you down inside.

The best way to approach this life
Is to ask forgiveness and to forgive.
There's a balance to this crazy world,
So live and just let live.

There once was a woman
Who grew old with time.
She bore her life story
In the curve of her spine.

In the lines and the creases
Of her warm, weathered face
Lay those long nights of worry
And those arduous days.

In her pale, veiny hands,
Once so nimble and strong,
Rested remnants of hard work
And a deftness now gone.

She displayed her life's losses
In her dull, woesome eyes
And a heart often wounded
But well-lived and wise.

She was a doddering soul
With her sore, swollen feet
That could once trek for miles
And never grow weak.

Her voice was a whisper
Between shallow, strained breaths.
But she still told her tales
So she'd never forget.

Around her sweet smile
Were deep, puckered lines
From those smiles she shared
Through both good and bad times.

Now she sits on her porch
For hours each day.
In the brightest of sunshine
Or the heaviest rains.

Her head slips to her chest
As she drifts off to sleep,
Lost in her memories
And impossible dreams.

A tap on her shoulder
And she's now wide awake,
And there in her sights
Is that fresh little face!

"Grandma, it's me,
How are you today?"
And with those sweet words,
All the time fades away.

In those bright joyful eyes
Was her reason to be.
She was her will to go on
And her heart's steady beat.

She was her hope for tomorrow
And her wish for today.
She was that part of herself
That would not die away!

She was now all grown up
And all on her own.
In those deep moments of thought
And feeling alone.

She'd think of that old woman
Who had been her best friend
And she longed every day
To see her again.

She was that part of her soul
That still guided her way
And that love in her heart
That would not die away!

Let me live within the moment.
Let me feel all that I can.
Let me cherish life for all it's worth,
With everything I am.

Let me see what's right in front of me,
With vision crystal clear.
And face what's waiting there for me,
With no hesitance or fear.

May I wake each day with gratitude,
For all my life may be.
And always feel that wonderment
At the world surrounding me.

May I welcome any strangers
With an open heart and mind.
And always stand for what is right
With all the strength that I can find.

Let me forgive myself for my mistakes,
While forgiving others theirs.
And never grow indifferent
But always strive to care.

Let me not forget what matters
In the scheme of every day,
To live each precious moment
In a kind and loving way.

For this moment now is everything,
Nothing matters but today.
So I'll willingly embrace it
And not let it slip away.

For it passes all so quickly,
And one chance is all we get.
And a life of wasted moments
Is a life filled with regrets.

I've always viewed life from the side lines,
Just watching it passing me by.
In the past, too afraid to just let go and live,
And lately too tired to try.

I've envied the people around me
So invested in living each day,
While I spent my time hiding out from the world
And searching for ways to escape.

For most of my life I truly believed
I was here to help somebody else,
But now it's so clear it was just an excuse.
To avoid living life for myself.

It's sad that our lives and the pain we endure
Can weaken our strength to move on,
But if we get lost in the scars of our past,
Without knowing our lives will be gone.

It's true, people are disappointing,
They can turn in the blink of an eye,
But we can't avoid hurting each other,
When we all want a chance at this life.

But there's something I've learned through the wisdom of age,
A truth about all of our lives,
And that is no matter what path we each take,
In the end, we just want to survive.

So the time has now come to conquer my fears
And to stand up and face a new day.
Let the hurts of my past wash away with my tears
And stop letting my life slip away.