Poems by Pat Fleming

When I was young on rainy days,
Alone on my front porch I'd play.
I'd lose myself in another time
That I could create with my toys and my mind.

Tomorrow never mattered to me,
For that was where I would always be.
There would be no hurt, no pain, no tears,
There were no worries; there was nothing to fear.

But as I grew up and everything changed,
I realized that life was no easy game.
You lived by the rules that the outside world made,
And that feeling of safety would ultimately fade.

You walked a fine line as you faced every day,
Filled with constant surprises as you went on your way.
And your life could change in the blink of an eye,
And failure could come no matter how hard you tried.

You would fight many battles, as you tarried along.
Sometimes you'd be right, but more times you'd be wrong.
So many people you'd love and you'd hate,
But you had to keep going because life wouldn't wait.

And lost in that mess that you'd make every day
And behind all those senseless and stupid mistakes
Would be moments so splendid, so perfect and fine,
You would wish that they all could be frozen in time.

Cherished moments with family, the fulfillment of dreams,
Those brief special moments, and the boring routines.
The excitement of learning just who you could be,
And finding that happiness was not guaranteed.

Discovering, with relief, your niche in this world,
Achieving so much but still wanting more.
Through births and some losses, you'd survive on just hope,
Always searching for ways to escape and to cope.

And then there'd be love to nourish your heart,
And sadness and tears when that love fell apart.
You would go through the stages of life as they came.
You would grow up and grow old and constantly change.

You'd see beautiful things in this exceptional world,
The wonder and power of nature unfurled.
You would witness the kindness of our own human race.
But also the destruction and chaos we make.

Indeed as a child I had no real clue
About what was coming and what I'd go through.
And although I do miss that innocent peace,
I treasure each moment that brought me to me.

But still when it's dark and rainy sometimes,
My cozy front porch will come gently to mind.
And I'll long for a chance to just steal away
And curl up on that porch with my toys and just play.

I've lived quite a while and learned quite a bit
About life and this world where we live.
I've found that it's filled with both good and the bad.
Some who take, while some others will give.

There's a balance to life in the way it unfolds.
That's a truth that we all come to know.
They'll be times we endure some unbearable days
And sleepless nights filled with anger and woe.   

Then come those moments of utter contentment,
When it all seems to fall into place,
When all that you are seems so right with the world,
You feel all of your pain's been erased.

We spend so much time on a quest for ourselves,
Searching for that internal peace.
And on each of our paths we may misstep and fall,
But our need for the answers won't cease.

We're composed and we're driven by our hearts and souls.
Our beliefs grow from what we've been taught.
Our dreams are all nurtured by the things that we see,
And our morals from the fights we have fought.

We all look so different; we all have our ways,
And at times we just can't understand
That inside we're no different, our humanities the same,
And we all do the best that we can.

Feelings of sadness, grief, joy, and pain,
Feeling lonely and empty and scared.
We each have these feelings, no matter our lives,
And we all yearn for someone to care.

It's that not understanding each other
Fosters the feelings of hate,
So we must take the time to learn all that we can,
While forgiving each other's mistakes.

Yes, I've learned quite a lot in my 63 years,
And to look well beyond what I see
To embrace and respect everyone as they are,
And hope that they'll do that for me.

The world won't stop spinning, and the sun will still rise.
There will always be conflict and strife,
But accepting we're all only human
Will make this a much better life.

It seems it's been a lifetime
Since my brother went away.
I long to see him once again
And relive those cherished days.

When I was his big sister
And looked at him with pride
And thought we'd always walk through life,
Family side by side.

But in these years he has forgotten me
And left me far behind,
But still a day does not go by
That he doesn't come to mind.

He has a growing daughter now
Whom I know I'll never meet.
She wouldn't even know me
If we passed along the street.

But I have a rather silly hope
That maybe just sometimes
There will be something that he sees in her
That may bring me to his mind.

He may see me in her smile
Or in the twinkle of her eye.
He may hear me in the sadness
Of her broken-hearted cries.

He may find me in her laughter,
In those moments filled with joy.
Or perhaps he'll notice I am there
In the lilting of her voice.

He might see me in her anger
And refusal to give in.
And in how she fights for those she loves,
The way I did for him.

She may even have a walk like me,
That same, familiar stride.
I may be in subtle nuances,
So impossible to hide.

I pray he sees me in her heart
And in the way she wants to care.
We may even look at life the same
And have dreams and hopes we share.

Although she'll never know me,
And I feel that loss each day,
She still carries just a part of me
That no one can take away.

So perhaps in silent moments,
In just an instant he may see,
There within his daughter,
A fleeting glimpse of me.

When I stand small before the ocean
In her vast infinity,
I'm consumed by all her beauty
And my profound humility.

When I succumb to her enticement
And the beckoning of her waves,
I become her eager servant
And her shameless, willing slave.

The chill in her mighty, salty touch,
My mere self in her boundless embrace,
Sharing the rhythm of her shifting surf
Everything else in the world is erased.

When she slowly grows more placid
And I float limp within her peace,
I see only the blue sky up above
I hear only the sounds of the sea.

But alas she's a moody enchantress
Turning fierce when the harsh wind blows.
She'll come thundering forth without mercy
To warn me it's past time to go.

As I sit on the toasty, sparkling sand
And I watch her play tag with the shore,
People stand by her quite mesmerized,
She's a marvel that can't be ignored.

There are moments I call her my loyal chum
And I trust her implicitly.
But then she may wield all her force my way
And I realize I'm out of her league.

When the summer is drawing nigh to a close
And my visits more precious and brief,
When the chill of the winter is all there is
I'll find warmth in her sweet memory.

I will think of her beauty in the early morn
When the sun starts to light up the sky
And she shimmers upon her in sheer delight
Like bright diamonds before my eyes.

I'll imagine the boats in the distance,
The wind pushing their bright, graceful sails
The aroma of the sea and her salty bite
As I lift up my chest and inhale.

I will think of her often as time passes by
So unfettered, dynamic, and free
I'll imagine the joy when I see her again
And hope she'll be glad to see me.

As the morning bell was sounding
We settled in our seats,
And Ms. Williams wrote upon the board
The list of work we would complete.

It felt like any other day
With no apparent change.
The sounds around me so familiar,
Every moment seemed the same.

The whispers of my closest friends,
A class singing down the hall,
Ms. Williams' soft, assuring voice,
And the squeaking of her chalk.

Anticipation of our lunchtime break
And my choice, PB and J,
Then back to work until the final bell
And the end of our school day.

But then in one split second
Our whole world came crashing down,
When the safety we all had shared
Was shattered by a booming sound.

That booming sound continued.
It seemed to come from everywhere.
I could hear some children screaming
And a smoky, egg smell in the air.

Ms. Williams looked so frightened
That my heart began to pound.
I felt myself begin to panic
As we all dropped to the ground.

Beneath our desks we huddled
While we held our best friends tight.
I closed my eyes and held my breath
And cowered there in fright.

I thought about my Mom and Dad
And knew that soon they'd come.
But then he breached our classroom door
And started shooting everyone.

Sally drooped inside my arms!
We were falling one by one!
Blood was splattered everywhere
As he wielded his big gun!

The world was growing darker now
And I shivered from the cold.
I reached for Sally's bloody hand
So I had something I could hold.

We prayed someone would save us
And take this monster far away.
But each moment we grew wearier
Until we knew it was too late.

And then the last bell of the day
Echoed loudly through the halls.
But instead of children's laughter
There was not a single sound at all!

I lost a precious part of me
Where you once dwelled, dear friend.
A bond that spanned a lifetime
Came abruptly to an end.

Will my memories sustain me
Even now that you have gone?
Or will your image slowly fade away
Without your face to gaze upon?

I will never feel the comfort
Of your loving, warm embrace.
You will never make me laugh again
Until my stomach aches.

When my heart is feeling lonely,
You won't answer when I call,
And when I start to lose my balance,
You can't catch me if I fall.

I won't have your voice of reason
When I start to lose my way
Or your reassuring words of strength
When I'm feeling so afraid.

I will treasure all those good old days,
All those secrets that we shared,
So that carefree girl I was with you
Won't completely disappear.

I'll hold tightly to your memory
And forever miss you so.
But I'll trust that God must need you more,
And I will gently let you go.