Amar Qamar

I'm running to cleanse my soul.
"From what? To where?"
At this moment I do not care.
Rain drops beat against my face.
I run on faster, into its embrace.

"But why?"
To leave my cares behind.
To scream, to cry, to defy.
My feet hammering the ground.
In search of peace not yet found
I race on, clothes drenched in sweat.
To just let go, and forget.

"Had enough?"
Not yet, I scream at him silently.
As I feel my heart beating violently.
Against the wind and blustery showers.
I run on for what seems like hours.

"How much longer?"
Through the fury, past the past, and the pain.
So by this rain I'm washed and purified again.
So the breeze blows away the thoughts inside.
Until another hill, without running I can abide.

"When will you reach this goal?"
Until you my annoying friend stay quiet.
So I can be free from my life's disquiet.
After a while "anything else?" Not a sound...

I slow to a jog, and in my mind I prod around.
All silent, I relish the elements with a clear mind.
I turn around, and revel in the journey home.
With worries, and stress left behind.

I had it once, now it's gone
Like a knot it's been undone
Was once so tight, now so slack
Happy times I wish I could have back
I sit a home, and feel so lonely
It'll be great if that was all, if only...
Zombie on the outside, the living dead
But so many questions floating around my head
Confusions rains down, it pours
Pandora's Box, I've opened the doors
No sign of anyone who can help
No sense of feelings or of myself
Where I can find the answers
Who am I? What am I?
Am I a dream? Or am I the dreamer?
Am I a thought? Or a complex computer,
How do my thoughts start? What makes them end?
What makes me do this? What makes me do that?
I know I overanalyze, I can't help it
Thinking and gazing into space, as I sit
Why can't I accept the wisdom of those around
Not letting myself accept the answers I've found
I want to free myself from my mind
And not just to pretend
Everything's okay everything's fine
I want to be NORMAL... When it's going to end....