Poems by Belinda Stotler

One morning I found you in eternal sleep;
I tried to wake you as I began to weep,
But all my pleas you could not hear.
Oh, if I could have only kept you near,
Away from the voices of those who went before,
Who beckoned you to come to that distant shore.

I find it so very hard to believe
That you have gone and I must grieve;
I call out your name -- you answer not,
And I look for you in every familiar spot.
Everything seems so strange and surreal.
I ask everyday is it a dream or real?

Where are the soft brown eyes of affection?
Where is the laughter and talk of childhood reflection?
Where is the loving care when I was sick or sad?
Where is the generous soul for which I was glad?
Where is the forgiving and understanding heart?
Where are the bonds that were there from the start?

I miss all the little ways you showed you cared,
For there were so many good moments we shared;
Looking back on my life's assorted scenes,
I realized you taught me what love truly means.
You were my trusted confidante and best friend,
On whose loving support I could always depend.

I look at your smiling face in all my photos.
Memories flood my mind as I touch the mementos
From the happy times you and I have had,
But now these bring tears and make me sad;
For the time together went by in a wink.
Life was not as long as we'd like to think.

Sometimes memories bring comfort and make me smile,
But there are times when grief takes over for a while.
Friends offer gentle words and prayers to console
And tell me what has happened to your loving soul.
Can it be true what they say of time healing grief?
Is it enough when they say death has given you relief?

Can we believe what others say of a better place,
Where our beloved ones rest in God's warm embrace?
I should be happy you're free of pain and sorrow,
And rejoice that you'll always have tomorrow.
How can I then be so heartbroken and selfishly cry?
Return to me from that peaceful place where you lie!

Now I look down at your name on a cold, hard stone
That says little of the loving light you have shone.
It tells nothing of the wonderful person you were
And only serves to remind me of the painful loss I endure;
But I know your kind soul wants no tears or pain.
Instead, you'd want warm memories and love to remain.

Although I cry and stand grief-stricken by your grave,
I promise not to forget the loving memories you gave,
But still I miss you so very much, my sister dear,
And your caring words I once again long to hear;
My heart's only solace is one day I will see you as before,
Beckoning me to come join you on that white distant shore.

Shall I wither and fall like an autumn leaf,
From this deep sorrow - from this painful grief?
How can I go on or find a way to be strong?
Will I ever again enjoy life's sweet song?

Sometimes a warm memory sheds light in the dark
And eases the pain like the song of a Meadow Lark.
Then it flits away on silent wings and I'm alone;
Hungering for more of the light it had shone.

Shall grief's bitter cold sadness consume me,
Like a winter storm on the vast angry sea?
How can I fill the void and deep desperate need
To replant my heart with hope's lovely seed?

Then I look at a photo of your playful smiling face
And for a moment I escape to a serene happy place;
Remembering the laughter and all you would do,
Cherishing the honest, caring, loving spirit of you.

Shall spring's cheerful flowers bring life anew
And allow me to forget the agony of missing you?
Will spring's burst of new life bring fresh hope
And teach my grieving soul how to cope?

Sometimes I'll read a treasured card you had given me
And each word's special meaning makes me see,
The precious gift of love I was fortunate to receive,
And I realize you'd never want to see me grieve.

Shall summer's warm brilliant sun bring new light,
And free my anguished mind of its terrible plight?
Will its gentle breezes chase grief's dark clouds away,
And show me a clear path towards a better day?

When I visit the grave where you lie in eternal peace,
I know that death and heaven brought you release;
I try to envision your joy on that shore across the sea,
And, until I join you, that'll have to be enough for me.

For all the remaining seasons of my life on earth,
There'll be days I'll miss your merriment and mirth,
And sometimes I'll sadly long for all the yesterdays;
Missing our chats and your gentle understanding ways.

Yet, the lessons of kindness and love you taught me,
And the good things in life you've helped me to see;
Linger as lasting gifts that comfort and will sustain,
Until I journey to that peaceful shore and see you again.

Over in the corner sits an empty rocking chair,
Yet my mind's eye can still picture her there,
Gently rocking to and fro at a slow steady pace,
Wearing a soft loving glow upon her sweet face;
As the rocking seemed to carry her worries away
And eased the painful weariness of the long day.

My sister's old rocking chair sits so quietly now
But seems to revive my grieving heart somehow;
For it stirs fond memories of talks we once had,
Which gave us such comfort when we were sad,
Or helped us recall funny stories of childhood years
That brought glorious laughter mixed with joyful tears.

To many, it's just an old forgotten chair in the corner,
But it is so much more to this solemn mourner;
For it is where a beloved sister would often sit,
Sharing her humorous stories with charming wit,
Or giving advice that came from a compassionate soul.
Oh, how these lovely memories now serve to console.

Sometimes I will sit in my sister's rocking chair,
At moments when missing her is too much to bear,
And I need to feel closer to the kind, generous heart
To which I was forever bonded from my life's start;
She was my most trusted confidante and loving friend,
Who I will always cherish beyond my life's end.

How lonely and forlorn that old chair seems to be,
But I realize it's not the chair that is lonely - only me!
For I miss the dear sister who once graced the chair.
Oh, how I wish she were still quietly sitting there,
Gently rocking to and fro at a slow, steady pace,
Wearing a soft loving glow upon her sweet face.