Poems by Pat Fleming

Before he crawled into his bed,
He prayed his soul to take.
Then curled up in the darkness,
And spent the night awake.

He dreaded the morning and all it would bring
But believed that it never could change.
For with the dawn of each new day,
That face in the mirror remained.

He longed to pull the covers up
And stay forever there.
And when the sun came creeping through,
He questioned if God even cared.

He grew weary from the struggle.
He longed to have one friend.
He wished they could accept him.
He just wanted to fit in.

But for him, school was a battlefield,
A place where he never felt safe.
And at times, he felt so much anger inside,
He worried how much more he could take.

He felt bruised and battered inside and out,
So he withdrew into himself.
He wanted to fight but didn't know how.
He wished that someone would help.

But he silently carried his hurt and his pain,
So ashamed that he acted so weak.
He tried not to cry and never complained.
He would take the abuse and retreat.

Sometimes he contemplated getting revenge.
Then some days he just wanted to hide.
Sometimes he thought he could kill everyone,
Then there were moments he wanted to die.

Every day he faced bullies, angry and mean.
They were always lurking out there.
They tried to destroy every ounce of esteem
And convinced him that nobody cared.

His life was a nightmare he had to endure,
And he wasn't alone in his pain.
He saw there were others who were different, like him,
And their torture and hurt was the same.

So is this the life that we wanted for them?
Should our children feel anger and fear?
And is this the legacy we'll leave behind,
Or should we save them while we are still here.

So instead of us arguing after the fact
And taking a stand that's too late,
We must teach them the value of kindness
And that differences should be embraced.

That the human spirit can be fragile and weak.
It can break in the blink of an eye.
And we must always respect others' dignity,
Or our humanity can't hope to survive.

The days of their youth remain in their hearts
And will color their future ahead.
So let's help them create a warm, welcome place,
Instead of a world filled with dread.

Each day we wake is such a gift;
No moment's guaranteed.
Tomorrow isn't promised,
But to fate we must concede.

We cannot know our futures,
How long or short our lives.
We simply do the best we can
Until the end arrives.

And in life, what's most important,
In the scheme of every day,
Are the people who stand by our sides
As we venture on our way.

Those cherished, loyal, patient souls,
Who take us as we are,
Who look beyond our foolishness,
Our frailties and our scars.

How often do we take the time
To lay our hearts down bare
And tell them how we truly feel
And just how much we care?

Do we freely give a compliment
And acknowledge efforts made?
Or do our own quite fragile egos
Make us feel far too afraid?

Have we tried to overcome our pride
And forgive another's wrongs?
Or do we cling to hurt and anger
And carry grudges far too long?

Do we share our blessings willingly
With those who are in need?
Or do we hoard our own good fortune
Out of selfishness and greed?

It's the people all around us
Who make us who we are.
It is they who save our erring souls
And fill our lonely hearts.

So it's time we show some gratitude
And not wait another day.
For before we even know it,
Our chance may slip away.

It's past time to say I love you
And forgive another's sins.
We must let ourselves be vulnerable
By letting others in.

For one day, tomorrow will not come;
We may not meet again.
For inevitably, for each of us,
It all comes to an end.

So go ahead and say the words;
Make today a start.
Don't regret your silence;
Share the language of your heart.

She waves for my attention,
So free upon the breeze.
The sun reflects her stars and stripes,
As proud as she can be.

She tells a tale of people lost,
Who came to find their way
And carried on through every loss,
To bring us here today.

She reminds me of the brave who fought
To keep our country strong
And shouts at me of victories
To right egregious wrongs.

She whispers to our children
Of all this country has to give
And begs that they stand up for her
And give thanks for how they live.

She cries to me of apathy,
Of prejudice and hate,
Of disrespect for what she stands,
And a Constitution we forsake.

She demands that I acknowledge her
And what she means to me
And dares me to imagine life
If she should cease to be.

And still in Glory she unfurls
And gives me hope again
For a people reunited,
And a country on the mend.

So each time I see her wave at me,
I'll stop and gaze above
And take a moment to respect
This country that I love.

Those things that meant the most to me
Are no longer in my life.
And those people most important
Have vanished now from sight.

Future hopes and longing dreams
Simply don't exist.
And that person who I used to be
Is someone I sadly miss.

Memories of my former life
Leave my heart in pain
And remind me of reality
And that everything must change.

This world can be so fickle.
One day you fade from all their minds.
You're not needed or acknowledged;
They just leave you far behind.

I've struggled through some desperate times,
Through raging storms and seas.
My life has been an uphill climb.
I didn't make it here with ease.

Old age has been a state I've earned.
It's a feat that I've survived.
I made mistakes but learned from them,
And I say that now with pride.

So where are my gold medals?
My name up there in lights?
I was not the smartest or the prettiest,
But I fought a darn good fight!

Where is all the grand applause
And shouts of "Way to go!"?
Where are all the kudos
That I feel that I am owed?

Then I will sing my praises,
Give myself a big high five!
You fought the fight quite valiantly,
And you're still well and quite alive.

You are someone with a heart of gold
And a soul that's kept its light.
You have loved and lost and sacrificed.
You weren't perfect, but you tried.

And I proclaim to all aged folks
Who have lived beyond four score,
You are truly Golden Heroes,
And may you survive a hundred more!

The years have passed on Rocky Mountains.
It's been a steep and harrowing climb.
Along the way we've lost our footing.
We've faced the best and worst of times.

We know each other inside and out,
Each secret, sin and scar.
We accept those flaws and frailties,
Who we've been and who we are.

With you, I've laughed the hardest.
For you, I've shed the biggest tears.
You've been my comfort at the saddest times,
And you've kept me safe from all my fears.

We have shared our love of nature,
The falling snow and rolling seas.
We've hiked through wending, forest trails
In a chilly autumn breeze.

We've traveled to the mountain tops,
We glided ore' the ocean's waves.
We stood before the New York skyline
And watched a million sunsets fade.

You've been there through all my losses.
It was you who helped me cope.
And I've been right there by your side
When you've needed me the most.

We've struggled through the bad times
By clinging to the good.
The fact that love could sometimes be hard work
Was a truth we always understood.

Yes, the years have passed so quickly.
Another Valentine's Day is here.
And I'm writing you these heartfelt words,
Which are honest and sincere.

We've weathered every single storm
And still we rose again.
I've loved you now for half my life,
And I will love you till the end.

There once was a woman
Who grew old with time.
She bore her life story
In the curve of her spine.

In the lines and the creases
Of her warm, weathered face
Lay those long nights of worry
And those arduous days.

In her pale, veiny hands,
Once so nimble and strong,
Rested remnants of hard work
And a deftness now gone.

She displayed her life's losses
In her dull, woesome eyes
And a heart often wounded
But well-lived and wise.

She was a doddering soul
With her sore, swollen feet
That could once trek for miles
And never grow weak.

Her voice was a whisper
Between shallow, strained breaths.
But she still told her tales
So she'd never forget.

Around her sweet smile
Were deep, puckered lines
From those smiles she shared
Through both good and bad times.

Now she sits on her porch
For hours each day.
In the brightest of sunshine
Or the heaviest rains.

Her head slips to her chest
As she drifts off to sleep,
Lost in her memories
And impossible dreams.

A tap on her shoulder
And she's now wide awake,
And there in her sights
Is that fresh little face!

"Grandma, it's me,
How are you today?"
And with those sweet words,
All the time fades away.

In those bright joyful eyes
Was her reason to be.
She was her will to go on
And her heart's steady beat.

She was her hope for tomorrow
And her wish for today.
She was that part of herself
That would not die away!

She was now all grown up
And all on her own.
In those deep moments of thought
And feeling alone.

She'd think of that old woman
Who had been her best friend
And she longed every day
To see her again.

She was that part of her soul
That still guided her way
And that love in her heart
That would not die away!

There's an early morning stillness,
A pure, pastoral peace.
A silence so consuming
It sedates and comforts me.

Each sound so hushed and yielding
As if on tip toes nature wakes.
It whispers soft and gently
That it's time to seize the day.

The trills and twitters of the early birds,
The crickets' mesmerizing hum.
The tickling of my eyelids 
By the timid, softer sun.

I gaze outside my window
And let the breeze caress my face,
It's chilly touch so welcoming
That I swoon in its sweet embrace.

The harsh, determined summer sun
Has grown weary and withdrawn,
And a shy and temperate autumn sun
Arrives with the rosy dawn.

It peeks through billowy cotton clouds
And casts shadows everywhere.
The earthy, musky scents of fall
Pervades the fresh, crisp air.

I feel so full and more alive,
No longer crushed by stifling heat.
I need to commune with nature again
Instead of making a fast retreat.

The pumpkins on my front porch stoop,
The crimson, russet leaves.
Hikes through the dense and piney woods
Upon paths that wend and weave.

Hayrides through the farmer's fields,
Cuddled by the fireside,
Eating candy by the five-pound bag
While taking a scenic drive.

All those classic horror movies
That help create the atmosphere,
For those ghost and ghouls of Halloween
To once again appear.

I can feel my heart so filled with thrills,
It's like I'm born again.
The only thought that cramps my style
Is that too quickly it will end.

But hail to the brilliant season of fall,
The most perfect time to me.
Immersed in her colors, aromas, and scares
Is right where I long be!

I watch the hands on the clock tick by
And I wonder where time goes.
Will this be the year to end all years?
Well, only God can know.

Inside each moment of my life,
Far back to childhood.
I see the fleetingness of time
And countless battles I withstood.

Old age has brought me memories
Of those times long tucked away,
And empowered me to see the past
In a much more loving way.

Those scenes of pain and suffering,
Those lonely, frightening times,
Are testimonials of the courage
That it took me to survive.

Those disappointments that I overcame,
All those loses that I faced,
Created my fortitude of heart
And became my catalysts for change.

Each mountain that I had to cross,
Each storm that I pushed through,
Each failure that I persevered,
Gave birth to something new.

Every heartache and betrayal,
Each attack that left me cold,
Gave me chances for forgiveness
And more sustenance of soul.

I cherished every touch and hug.
I'm so grateful for the laughter.
I thank God for every perfect day
And even those that were disasters.

I treasure every single face,
Of my family, loves and friends.
Both in person and in spirit
They travel with me till the end.

It's been both daunting and exciting
Becoming who I've grown to be.
It's been a constant work in progress
To be fully cognizant of me.

And now I can say without a doubt
That I've enjoyed this bumpy ride
And will just keep riding on and on
Until I've used up all my time.

When that will be, I cannot see.
Perhaps this is the year to end all years.
But in the meantime I will give my all
So this world knows I was here.

We awakened to the whitest light
Seeping through the blinds.
We leapt from bed and to the windows
To take a probing peek outside.

Mounds of frigid, fluffy cotton
Stretched out as far as we could see.
The snow had fallen all night long
While we lay fast asleep.

With shrieks of pure excitement
We bundled in our warmest clothes.
We couldn't waste a minute more
For our adventures in the snow.

Bounding to the basement
Behind the boxes and the stairs,
Stood our Flying Arrow Sled
Long waiting for us there.

Out the door in just a flash,
We knew just where to go.
The place where all the kids would meet
To go sledding in the snow.

Down the street and to the pond
Where all the skaters skated.
Beside the river filled with ice
The steepest hill of all awaited.

Huffing, puffing to the top
With our sleds in tow.
Sitting with our feet to steer.
One, two three and off we'd go!

Swiftly tilting left and right,
Our faces sprayed with ice.
Flying over every bump
With delighted shouts and cries.

To the bottom with such rapid force
We'd fall laughing in the snow.
Then without the slightest hesitation
Back up the hill we all would go.

Up and down for hours long
Making memories with our friends.
Moments fading with the winter sun
A day we wished would never end.

Then tired, sore and hungry
Soaked right down to the bone.
We'd gather up our trusty sleds
And in the twilight, drag them home.

And even as the darkness fell
The snow lit up the streets.
And we'd lie within that cozy glow
Until we drifted off to sleep.

Then memories of our perfect day
With friends and snow and sleds
Would replay over in our dreams
And cuddle with us in our beds. 

I'm slipping back into that hole
And my hopes are wearing thin.
I try to take a different path
Still, I hear it beckoning.

I'm traveling on a rocky road.
I trip and fall on jagged stones.
I keep wandering in circles.
I can't find my way alone.

I could call out to the wilderness
And flaunt my tears and pain.
But my voice in all that silence
Makes me feel far too ashamed.

I could return to that familiar place
And jump inside that hole
And let it swallow me again
Body, heart and soul.

Deep inside that darkness
I can finally find some peace
And immersed in all that blackness
Perhaps I'll get some sleep.

There's no one there to judge me.
I feel safer by myself.
No pretentious words of cold advice
Of how I need to get some help.

Inside that cool obscurity
All that pressure fades away.
I escape the captious carping
Hidden in the words they say.

They may think it's all self-pity
Feeling shunned and on my own.
But they know nothing of my journey
And those battles fought alone.

And now that I've grown older
My sense of loss is more extreme.
I'm running out of precious time
To see the dawn of all my dreams.

But one thing that I wish the most
That now I fear will never be
Is to look into my mirror
And truly love the me I see.

So, it's best I linger in that hole
Where no one else can see.
The remains of all those battles lost
And what is left of me.