Poems by Pat Fleming

My words are like my heart beat.
They tell the world that I'm alive.
They recite the tale of who I am
And of all I have survived.

My words reveal my deepest pain.
They betray my greatest fears.
They share moments of my laughter,
As well as moments filled with tears.

My words can come from memories,
Of glorious days gone by.
Or they flow from feelings so extreme,
They lay hidden deep inside.

My words can tell sad stories,
Created in my mind.
Of other lives I've witnessed,
In another place and time.

My words can paint a picture,
Of the seasons in their glory.
They can gently tell of tragedies
Or a hero's noble story.

My words are like a loyal friend
That keep my secrets close.
But will serve as a catharsis
When I need release the most.

My words are my great treasure,
Far more valuable than gold.
And still offer always something new,
Even now that I've grown old.

My words connect me to my fellow man
And give my heart a way to vent.
They remind me I am human
And help my soul repent.

Thank God my words can still be shared,
I'm so grateful for this gift.
To express vast love or sorrow,
Intelligence or wit.

To reach out and touch another heart
Is something I don't fear.
I will use my words right to the end,
To let the world know I was here!

Will I slowly wither like a leaf
That falls upon the earth?
Once void of all its Autumn hues,
It loses all its worth.

Will my strength and vigor for this life
Just one day start to wane?
Will all these lines and wrinkles guise
My once familiar face?

Will I feel no longer needed
By my family and my friends?
Will that thrill of feeling deep in love,
In time come to an end?

Will I lose my sense of purpose,
My reason for each day?
Will my mind grow dull and cluttered
Till I somehow lose my way?

Will I outlive all my loved ones
And find myself alone?
Will I lose my independence,
My possessions and my home?

Will all my fondest memories
Escape my aging grasp?
And will I drift so far away
I never make it back?

Will I be that old forgotten soul
That no one comes to see?
Kept in the hands of strangers,
A shell of who I used to be.

I pray I'm spared such cruelty,
For if I am to live.
I don't want to be a burden
When I still have much to give.

I want to treasure every moment,
Every love my heart embraced.
I need to know each pain I felt,
Each tragedy I faced.

So if someday I disappear
Before I leave this life,
I beg you to reach out to me
And hold on with all your might.

For despite how far away I go,
I need the world to care.
For somewhere in that bewilderment,
I still linger there.

The moon reflects the fallen snow
And makes it light as day
I lay awake upon my bed,
As the clock tick tocks away.

A sound pierces the silence,
Perhaps a sleigh upon the roof.
And rushing to the chimney,
The clip clop of reindeer's hooves.

My heart fills with excitement.
Could Santa Claus be there?
I gently tip toe from my room
And down the wreath-lined stairs.

Then almost in a whisper,
I hear a Ho, Ho, Ho!
And spy a hulking shadow
In the trees' prismatic glow.

I peek around the corner,
And sitting in Dad's chair
Is Santa Claus in all his glory,
Munching cookies I prepared.

His cheeks are pudgy, rosy red,
And his eyes are kind and bright.
I feel frozen there right where I stand,
Bewitched by such a sight.

He seems a happy fellow,
As he finishes his snack.
His bulbous belly shakes with glee
As he gathers up his sack.

And then I see beneath the tree,
Toys of every size.
Everything I ever wished for,
Laid out before my eyes.

And there beside the chimney,
As he prepares to take his leave,
Santa gives a hearty Ho, Ho, Ho!
Then winks and waves at me.

Then suddenly he vanishes,
As the chimney shakes with soot.
And all I see at that last moment
Are his black and shiny boots.

I feel so sad and thoughtless
As I watch him cross the sky.
I never even thanked him
Or wished him luck and said good-bye.

Well, next year will be different,
For I'll be waiting there.
And when Santa makes his visit,
I'll show him just how much I care.

I'll knit for him the longest scarf
To keep the cold at bay
And a huge and cozy blanket
To warm his lap inside his sleigh.

And when it's time for him to go,
He'll not use the chimney anymore,
For I will shake my good friend's hand
And blithely walk him to the door.

How do you measure success in this life?
And who should decide if you fail?
Do life's sweet temptations guide you along?
Or in the end does your conscience prevail?

Is life just a game that you play every day?
Bending the rules for yourself?
Desperately chasing material goals
To the ruin of everything else.

Do you cherish the people around you?
Or do you squander the love that they share.
Do you take time to notice the efforts they make?
Or do you treat them as if they aren't there?

Do you wake up each morning just grateful to be?
Thanking God when you open your eyes?
And how many dawns do you gaze at the sky,
And stop to behold the sun rise?

How many moments in the course of your day
Do you treasure each second of time?
Embracing the sad and sweet that is there,
With the whole of your heart, soul and mind.

And despite any anger you suffer inside,
From the hurt and betrayals of life,
Do you manage to keep your own self-respect?
Or are you led by your own foolish pride?

Do you live by the motto forgive and forget,
Or consumed by the need for revenge?
Do you try every day to live open in truth,
Or is your life just a game of pretend?

For those who are young and new to this world,
So filled with your hopes and your dreams,
Take my advice, don't complicate life.
It is simpler than sometimes it seems.

For when you have reached the twilight of life,
All the answers are finally revealed.
And that searching and struggle that left you confused
With hindsight becomes crystal clear.

Hold fast to that childhood passion and awe.
Cling to each moment you get.
Let your heart feel completely each feeling you have,
And give the people you love all your best.

Don't waste or misuse this wonderful gift.
Don't surrender or grow too complacent.
Remember in the end it's all up to you,
And life can be all that you make it.

When I was young and insecure,
And desperate to be liked.
I tended to withdraw in pain
And flee instead of fight.

All I wanted was to get along.
Conflict was not my style.
So despite what people did to me,
I took it with a smile.

So whenever someone hurt me,
I'd stuff those feelings deep inside.
Forgive but not forget it,
Just take it all in stride.

But anger tends to fester.
It's not so easy to control.
Just like a dormant bomb that's lit,
One day it will explode.

I've suffered many sad regrets.
I've felt my share of shame
For releasing all my pent-up ire
On the ones who weren't to blame.

So I would not advise this practice
Now that I've grown old and wise.
I've learned a great deal in my time,
And there's some truths I realized.

In life you must be tolerant,
But you also must be strong.
You don't have to be a doormat
When someone does you wrong.

You must carefully pick your battles,
Knowing when to let things go.
Don't seek revenge or try to hurt,
For what you reap you'll sow.

Don't back down but don't attack,
Hold your tongue but speak your mind.
You can defend yourself and others,
And still manage to be kind.

It's important that you love yourself.
This is the love that must come first.
If you can't see how grand you are,
Then no one else will see your worth.

A good rule of thumb to follow,
Show the world by what you do -
That you will gladly give respect
But will expect the same for you!

Our political views mean nothing,
There are no sides to take.
Both young and old must be prepared
To fight for all our sakes.

Guns and tanks are tinker toys;
Violence has no place.
Our enemy creeps silently
Without a single trace.

The world must share this battle;
There are no neutral zones.
We must stand united in our hearts,
Though standing quite alone.

Our basic need for human touch,
For now must be denied.
And we must find inventive ways
To convey what lies inside.

Our heroes aren't our generals,
With medals on their chests.
But those nurses and those doctors,
Who our lives we have bequest.

We wake each day to numbers,
Again there's thousands more.
Neighbors, friends, and family,
Our casualties of war.

We've lost things we took for granted,
That made us feel alive.
And now within our prison walls,
We must find a way to thrive.

But we never will surrender
Or let our lights grow dim.
It's our humanness that will prevail
And set us free again.

Those people who we've never met,
In places far away,
Must face this same relentless foe,
That we too must face each day.

And so we are united,
One people standing strong.
Pushing through this darkest time,
Until again we greet the dawn.

How do I cope with the shame that I feel
And then look you straight in the eye?
And how do I claim to stand for what's right,
Then accept disregard for your lives?

I grew up in a place that was safe and secure;
Opportunity knocked at my door.
I never accepted enough was enough
When the world always offered me more.

The schools I attended were cloaked in pure white,
And I watched from their lily white halls
While you had to fight for the little you had,
And I was just handed it all.

The black of your skin made you different from me,
And I learned from the powers that be
That we'd never be allies in living this life
And should remain on our side of the streets.

But as I grew up, I became so confused,
And I wished to get closer to you.
But how could you trust a word that I said
When all I'd shown you was callous abuse?

How do I make some sense of it all
When injustice can't ever make sense?
And how do I seek your forgiveness
When I can't begin to know how to repent?

The cycle of hatred is hard to escape
When adults in your life lead your way.
And how do you face that those "truths" once believed
Were just words to control and betray?

I know I can never right all the wrongs
Or remove all the scars left behind.
But my heart feels the weight of the hurt that we caused,
And your torment encumbers my mind.

I ponder incessantly on what I can do.
I don't want to seem shallow or fake.
Is it enough that I willingly stand by your side?
Or are there far too many amends to be made?

I need you to know how sorry I am,
Though I'm sure it's too little too late.
But I want you to see that I won't let you down
And your hope in me ever forsake.

My promise is now to bear witness.
I won't leave you alone in your pain.
And for the sake of your children and grandchildren,
I'll fight for a world filled with change.

Your survival is proof of your courage
And exposes what cowards we've been!
And I long for and pray that one day I'll be blessed
To, perhaps, hear you call me your friend.

It seems it's been a lifetime
Since my brother went away.
I long to see him once again
And relive those cherished days.

When I was his big sister
And looked at him with pride
And thought we'd always walk through life,
Family side by side.

But in these years he has forgotten me
And left me far behind,
But still a day does not go by
That he doesn't come to mind.

He has a growing daughter now
Whom I know I'll never meet.
She wouldn't even know me
If we passed along the street.

But I have a rather silly hope
That maybe just sometimes
There will be something that he sees in her
That may bring me to his mind.

He may see me in her smile
Or in the twinkle of her eye.
He may hear me in the sadness
Of her broken-hearted cries.

He may find me in her laughter,
In those moments filled with joy.
Or perhaps he'll notice I am there
In the lilting of her voice.

He might see me in her anger
And refusal to give in.
And in how she fights for those she loves,
The way I did for him.

She may even have a walk like me,
That same, familiar stride.
I may be in subtle nuances,
So impossible to hide.

I pray he sees me in her heart
And in the way she wants to care.
We may even look at life the same
And have dreams and hopes we share.

Although she'll never know me,
And I feel that loss each day,
She still carries just a part of me
That no one can take away.

So perhaps in silent moments,
In just an instant he may see,
There within his daughter,
A fleeting glimpse of me.

The endless green of summer
Has turned to golds and reds,
While the leaves are all a flutter,
Making pillows for our heads.

The hot, aggressive summer sun
Now hides behind the clouds,
Creating dreamlike shadows
That reflect the world around.

The trees have changed their summer greens
To the warmth of autumn hues.
And a chilly early morning frost
Has replaced the summer dew.

The sound of weekend mowers
And the sight of lawns so green
Are echoes now of Autumn rakes,
And piles of aging leaves.

The whisper of the summer breeze
Has reluctantly flown away,
As the stronger push of the Autumn wind
Has defiantly taken its place.

And the happy mood of the summer sun
Has weakened in its fight,
As the darker mood of Autumn
Has coldly diminished its light.

And in the chill of the afternoon,
As the children play in the leaves,
The smell of fireplaces burning,
Give the promise of a cozy eve.

And you're filled with anticipation
For pumpkins and Halloween.
For hay rides and candy apples
And ghostly sights to see.

Oh yes, the fall is finally here,
And its glory fills your heart.
And you breathe that air so crisp and clear
And pray that it never parts.

I searched but never found you.
The paths we traveled never crossed
And now my life is winding down,
And I fear all hope is lost.

I saved a place inside my heart.
You were often in my dreams.
But you stayed always at a distance
And just beyond my reach.

I wondered if you grieved for me
And felt that longing deep inside.
Did you search the world for me in vain?
Or did you let that need subside?

Oh, I had my share of love and loss.
I knew happiness and pain.
I loved and was loved in return
But that emptiness remained.

I missed you though we never touched,
And I knew you from the start.
Your soul was mate to my own soul.
You shared the beating of my heart.

Time passed, but still you never came,
Though I never let you go.
You were a gift that I was promised,
The greatest love I'd ever know.

I wondered if our eyes once met,
But we chose to look away
And settled on some other loves
And thus our destinies betray.

This life is cruel and fickle.
It can lead our hearts astray
And blind us to what matters,
Putting roadblocks in our way.

Our searching becomes futile
When distractions take control.
We can't hear the pleading of our hearts
Or the desperation in our souls.

But you and I were meant to be,
Our souls met long ago.
So when the time is right for us,
Somehow, we both will know.

And maybe up in Heaven
Our souls will finally meet
And we'll share our love eternally
And forevermore we'll feel complete.