Poems by Patricia Fleming

Dear Mother, I've so much to tell you,
I wouldn't know where to begin.
There's so much I've learned in the years since you've gone,
How I long to just see you again.

It's amazing how now at this point in my life,
All your words of advice ring so true.
And I know now you spoke from that place where you came,
And from all that your life brought you through.

I recognize, too, just how hard you had tried
To prepare me for all life could be.
And surviving through my own life's struggles
Made me see what your words meant to me.

I regret how I took you for granted,
Just expecting you'd always be there.
Too self-involved to take time to see,
Just how much it had cost you to care.

There were times when I know you felt frustrated,
There was only so much you could do.
And despite how much guidance and help that you gave,
I know the hell I put you through.

I remember those days when you seemed very sad,
But I never took time to ask why.
But in life I've discovered when you give of yourself,
It can make you feel empty inside.

I know there were so many hopes that you had,
Dreams you could never see through.
Instead, you spent each precious moment you could
Trying to make all my wishes come true.

What I miss more today than that mother I loved
Is that woman who became my dear friend,
With her hysterical wit and her warm open heart,
And a loyalty that remained till the end.

If I could just see you for just one last time,
If I could just hug you again,
I'd thank you for being all that you were,
And for making me all that I am.

To see that face you've missed so much,
To feel that warmth inside.
To see how much you mean to them,
Reflected in their eyes.

To feel that sense of comfort
That you felt in times gone by.
To hug someone with all your might,
To laugh until you cry.

To escape to all those memories,
Those moments that you shared.
To feel each strong emotion,
As if you were right there.

To recall that sense of purpose
That you felt when so naïve.
And the world was open wide to you
And you were fearless and so free.

To remember all those special friends
Who have long since passed away.
To share regrets you each possess
And haunt you still today.

To reveal whatever pain you've had
In the years that have gone by.
And together feel so grateful
That somehow you both survived.

To know this person inside out,
Their past secrets and their schemes.
Who helped you through some troubled times
And shared your hopes and dreams.

To know your heart and soul are safe
And there is no judgment there.
And no matter what you say or do,
All they want to do is care.

To feel that love that makes you whole
And finally find yourself again.
No, there's nothing better in this life,
Than being with a long-lost friend!

I've lived quite a while and learned quite a bit
About life and this world where we live.
I've found that it's filled with both good and the bad.
Some who take, while some others will give.

There's a balance to life in the way it unfolds.
That's a truth that we all come to know.
They'll be times we endure some unbearable days
And sleepless nights filled with anger and woe.   

Then come those moments of utter contentment,
When it all seems to fall into place,
When all that you are seems so right with the world,
You feel all of your pain's been erased.

We spend so much time on a quest for ourselves,
Searching for that internal peace.
And on each of our paths we may misstep and fall,
But our need for the answers won't cease.

We're composed and we're driven by our hearts and souls.
Our beliefs grow from what we've been taught.
Our dreams are all nurtured by the things that we see,
And our morals from the fights we have fought.

We all look so different; we all have our ways,
And at times we just can't understand
That inside we're no different, our humanities the same,
And we all do the best that we can.

Feelings of sadness, grief, joy, and pain,
Feeling lonely and empty and scared.
We each have these feelings, no matter our lives,
And we all yearn for someone to care.

It's that not understanding each other
Fosters the feelings of hate,
So we must take the time to learn all that we can,
While forgiving each other's mistakes.

Yes, I've learned quite a lot in my 63 years,
And to look well beyond what I see
To embrace and respect everyone as they are,
And hope that they'll do that for me.

The world won't stop spinning, and the sun will still rise.
There will always be conflict and strife,
But accepting we're all only human
Will make this a much better life.

In the neighborhood where I was raised,
My life revolved around my friends.
And each day brought new adventures
And endless games of let's pretend.

We were just a band of misfits,
Running wild in the sun.
Living by our mantra,
"One for All and All for One."

Now Ivy was a little girl
Who lived next door to me.
She was a sweet and guileless girl
Who was a loyal friend indeed.

But poor Ivy had a stutter,
So even in the midst of play,
We'd stop and listen patiently
If Ivy had something to say.

It never had occurred to us
To tease her or make fun.
She was a cherished part of us.
"One for All and All for One."

Now Tammy was an aimless girl
Who dreaded going home.
Instead she'd cling to all of us
Or roam the streets alone.

She was always seen as strange or odd,
So by many she was shunned.
But we embraced her strength of spirit.
"One for All and All for One."

Terry and Peggy were sisters,
And just as tough as they could come.
They were always ready to stand and fight
Before they would cower and run.

In the neighborhood, they were infamous,
Known and feared by everyone.
But we welcomed their grit and moxie.
"One for All and All for One."

Now Dougy was just into puberty,
And was viewed as a very bad seed.
He was in and out of trouble
And always full of tricks and schemes.

But to us, he was our brother,
And a better brother there was none,
For he'd defend us to the bitter end.
"One for All and All for One."

Now I was a puny, cross-eyed kid
Who had always been laughed at and teased.
But I found my niche in this group of friends
Who nurtured and watched out for me.

We were truly a band of misfits
When all was said and done.
But we stood for each other through thick and thin.
"One for All and All for One."

How I wish today our youth could know
Such camaraderie second to none,
Finding strength and unity in diversity,
Living "One for All and All for One."

I saw a shadow passing by,
Thinking it just a trick of the eye.
I turned on the light, but no one was there,
Though I noticed a fragrance, thick in the air.

Convinced all was well, I lay myself down,
But then, without warning, came a frightening sound.
I could hear right beside me, so crystal clear,
Someone was breathing right in my ear.

I turned on the light and jumped out of my bed,
This time I was certain it was not in my head.
The quiet that followed seemed abnormally loud,
And there, in the doorway, I saw a dark cloud.

It floated right toward me as fast as could be,
And then it just stopped, quite suddenly.
And there I could see an old woman's shape,
Dressed in a flowing, black, hooded cape.

Slowly her eyes looked straight into mine,
I felt locked in her stare for what seemed a long time.
But then she just smiled a sick, toothless grin.
As she lapsed into a wild and swift, twirling spin.

I felt mesmerized by this terrible sight,
Unable to move, paralyzed with fright.
And then once again came that sweet, sickening smell,
Perhaps, I was smelling the doorway to hell.

A sinister cackling filled up the room,
She sounded like a murderous, malevolent loon.
She reached out her hands with black, claw-like nails,
And then from her mouth came a torturous wail.

Her spinning slowed down and came to stop,
Just like a child's toy, spinning top.
And then she was gone, she just disappeared.
But I sat there unmoving, still lost in stark fear.

Then I crawled back to bed and curled up by the light.
Grasping my Bible with all of my might.
Praying and praying with heartfelt concern,
That this monstrous spirit might make a return.

I watched as the clock ticked the long night away,
Longing for the light of a brand new day.
And over and over, I relived what I'd seen,
And then suddenly remembered, it was Halloween.

Well it gave me relief; I now lay there quite calm,
The horror I felt was suddenly gone.
That crazy old woman was supposed to be there,
On this day, above all, I deserved one good scare.

Well I felt like a load had been lifted from me,
And as I relaxed I fell quickly to sleep.
But I never forgot what that night I had seen,
And when I was treated to a true Halloween.

I'll post all those pictures of me having fun,
Wearing my happiest grin.
Add a few comments to enhance the effect,
And impress all my great Facebook friends.

Make them think that my life is fulfilling,
That I'm truly the best I can be.
Fill up my page with bullshit and lies,
So they all will be jealous of me.

Or perhaps I should post some Political views,
And appear quite informed and so smart.
Creating a page that can trigger debate,
Is an envious Facebook art.

Or maybe I'll take a more spiritual tact,
Sending Blessings to all of my friends.
What a kind and generous gesture,
Who cares if it's all just pretend.

I could certainly post a poem of mine,
And show them how deep I can be.
They be in such awe of the talent I have
They'll wish they could all be like me.

I wonder just how many likes I will get,
And maybe a comment or two.
But what if they simply ignore me today?
I just don't know what I will do.

Comparing my page to all of my friends,
Can cause me such worry and pain.
They have far more likes and a long list of friends,
It makes me feel insecure and ashamed.

I wake up each day and the first thing I do,
Is open my own Facebook page.
And the attention it drew has such an effect,
It can make or break my whole day.

I could never imagine that now in old age,
I'd have such a need to be liked.
And discovering that people really don't care,
Could fill me with panic and fright.

To be young in this world must be terribly hard,
When social media sets the standard so high.
And it constantly stalks and berates our poor youth,
Leading to anger, withdrawal and suicide.

As for myself, I took down my page,
I refuse to engage in such farce.
But when you are young and unsure yourself,
Such rejection can tear you apart.

So take care of the young that you have in your life,
Don't let social media win.
Nurture and protect their fragile esteem,
Be a true and accepting, real friend.

The world outside is a wondrous place,
Filled with many miracles to see.
It's a place to hear and smell and feel.
It's a place so unfettered and free.

From the welcome warmth of the morning sun,
As it plays upon your eyes,
Enticing you from your slumber
To awaken and come alive.

Or the gentle touch of an Autumn breeze,
As it chills and caresses your face,
Beckoning you to start your day
And let go of the night's embrace.

The sound of the birds as they twitter and sing,
Still nestled in the warmth of the trees.
Soon they will lift their wings in flight,
Shooed away by the fluttering leaves.

To smell that earthy, Autumn air,
As you step outside and breathe.
To hear that steady, familiar crunch,
As you wade through the dried, dead leaves.

To look up and get lost in a ceiling-less sky,
Deep blue or an ominous grey.
Squinting against the brightest of suns,
Or getting soaked by a sudden, cold rain.

To feel beads of sweat on your clammy face,
In the heat of a blistering day.
Then submerge in a river that seeps through your skin,
Dousing the fire in your veins.

To trudge through the deepest, blistering snow,
As the ice stings your rosy red cheeks.
To smell all the fireplaces burning,
As those faint of heart retreat.

To see your breath float on the air,
As your toes and fingers freeze.
And witness an icy, white blanket of snow,
Just as far as you can see.

The snowflakes falling harder now,
The earth is in a blur.
Your clothes feel damp and heavier,
Your speech begins to slur.

Yes, the outside is a wondrous place,
A world of beauty and brawn.
It's independent but so reliable.
It's vulnerable and yet so strong.

Remember the smell of the summer flowers,
With bright colors all around?
Deep green lawns and the aroma of grass,
Trees plush with leaves abound.

The ocean's glistening, thundering waves,
The gritty, infinite sands.
The forests of trees that reach up to the sky,
The mountains that tower over the land.

The outside world is an endless place.
It shows us how small we can be.
It can nurture and comfort our troubled hearts.
It can grant us sweet moments of peace. 

If you take the time to really see,
The outside is a glorious place.
And how lucky we are that this Paradise,
Is only a few steps away.