Poems by Pat Fleming

Now what should I be thankful for?
Now where do I begin?
Of course the greatest gift of all -
My family and my friends.

But it's also all the little things
That touch my life each day
That I sometimes take for granted
Letting life get in the way.

Like my comfy bed that keeps me warm
As I sleep away the night
And that lovely glowing, smiling sun
That wakes me with her light.

Just lying there and taking time
To hear the world as she awakes.
The peaceful sounds of early morn
That nature starts to make.

The smell of breakfast cooking
My cat entreating me to rise
Breathing in the crisp fall air
And looking up at pillowed skies.

To be blessed with still another day
To laugh and love and live.
To have enough to care for me
And still have plenty more to give.

To smell and hear the rainfall
As it pitter patters from the sky.
To watch a snowy blizzard roar
While sitting safe and warm inside.

To look upon the bluest sea
As the gulls go soaring by.
To feel the salt upon my skin
As I lay beneath the sun to dry.

I'm so grateful that God still allows
Another child to be born
And that He opens up His heavens
To all those loved ones I mourn.

I feel blessed by each new moment.
Another chance to make things right
And for all good people in this world
Who love and give with all their might.

It's important each and every day
To bring all our thanks to mind.
It's tragic we're so lost in life
That we seldom take the time.

But as for me, I plan to make a change.
It's a simple change to make.
To thank God for all my blessings
Every morning when I wake!

These days, that moment haunts me,
That first moment we met.
You were a vision from the heavens
That I never would forget.

I watched you from a distance,
Wondering if you were for real.
I thought perhaps if I just blinked
You would suddenly disappear.

But I knew that there was no escape.
Your smile seized my very soul.
Your timid touch pierced my defenses.
My heart was losing all control.

Your eyes, a brilliant sunrise
From which I couldn't turn away.
Your silky voice, the sweetest melody
That played in my mind all day.

My love grew like a malady,
And there was nothing I could do.
I knew for sure the only remedy
Was to pledge my life to you.

I was defenseless but exuberant.
I felt in awe of each new day
And my constant thoughts of only you,
A sweet place I was enslaved.

Oh, but you were quite the challenge.
You did not relinquish easily.
I had to joust each day to win your heart
While you played coy incessantly.

But I would never acquiesce
From my designs upon your heart,
And once I proved to be victorious,
We would never be apart.

Our life became a precious journey,
Trekking through both highs and lows.
We were a family of adventurers,
A force against the world we'd go.

And as you lay there sleeping now,
Our life reflected in your face.
Each line and crease a testimonial
To all the love and strength you gave.

It tells the story of our children
Who brought us joy through long, hard years.
It reveals the hardships that we overcame
With grateful laughter and some tears.

Your eyes now opened to the darkness.
The light within those eyes still bright.
Your upturned face so pale and lovely,
My breath still catches at the sight.

It's time to face the grim reality
Of the fast-approaching end.
There is no future now for us to share,
Only those places where we've been.

My sorrow's heavy on my chest
As you smile up at me.
I'm just a useless, helpless coward
Pleading with you not to leave.

I have stubbornly resisted,
Negotiating for more time.
One more day to gaze upon that face
And feel your heart beat next to mine.

Five decades we've lived side by side.
It's been you who's kept me brave,
And if you leave me all alone,
I fear I can't be saved.

Your voice is now a whisper.
Your breathing comes in slow, short gasps.
In my arms you're like a feather.
Your hand feels frail inside my grasp.

Your words are firm but loving.
I must finally let you go
And be grateful for the gift we shared
That so many never know.

Then I gently kiss your cool, wet cheeks
And watch you slowly slip away.
I feel comfort in the peace you've found,
And in that peace, we'll share someday.

And then that moment reappears,
That first moment we met.
I thank God for every moment since
And let you go without regrets.

It could not be me he's thinking of
When he looks up at the soft moonlight.
And it can't be me that he's dreaming of
When he falls asleep at night.

It could not be my face that caught his eye
In the midst of his busy day
Whose beauty left him hypnotized
And at a loss for what to say.

It could not be my smile that melted his heart
Or my laughter upon the breeze.
It would not be the curves of my body
That left him limp and weak in the knees.

It surely could not be my luminous eyes
Or the touch of my skin so smooth.
It would never be just the image of me
That could trigger his amorous mood.

You see I know it could never be me
To catch a man's eye these days.
In fact if I happen to pass one by
He just looks the other way.

My eyes are not as bright anymore.
They're sagging and much too thin.
Surely, they're not the kind of place
Any man could get lost in.

My body has not aged gracefully
And my curves are far too plump.
My boobs are falling down to the floor
Along with my flatter rump.

Most often I feel invisible.
I blend into the scenery.
I'm far too old to "strut my stuff"
To get Prince Charming to notice me.

Right now feeling wanted and desired,
To be the woman of his dreams,
Is now nothing more in the scheme of my life
Than a thrilling and sweet memory.

Yes, those days of romance and passion
Have sadly passed me by
And now I just feel grateful each day
For the man growing old by my side.

The hardest part of getting old,
Is dealing with regrets,
Accepting there's no going back.
One chance is all I get.

Facing dreams that I once had
That never did come true,
And knowing they can't be achieved
And there's nothing now to do.

Recalling choices that I made
That clearly changed my life.
Times when I retreated
When I should have stood to fight.

People that I pushed away
Who only meant me well.
While holding on to other ones
Who made my life a hell.

Devoting all my energy
To the work I did each day
While investing little in myself
As my own life slipped away.

Not working hard on friendships,
Or on a family of my own.
So that now in this last stage of life,
I find myself alone.

If I had to do it all again,
It wouldn't be the same.
I'd live my life more for myself.
My priorities would change.

I would reach back more to others
Who had tried to pull me close.
And cherish all those people,
Who had cared for me the most.

I would not accept hurt or abuse
But demand love and respect.
I'd nurture those parts of myself
That I tended to neglect.

I would hope to have at least one child,
Who I'd teach and guide through life.
Who would hopefully look up to me,
And treasure my advice.

I would still find time to do my work,
One thing of which I'm proud.
It was my years in social work
That were my most profound.

But as for all the time I lost,
And the things that I can't change.
I have to let it go for good
And focus on the time that now remains.

For there are no second chances.
This is the life I made.
But I pray that by my being here,
I've made a difference in some way.

When the time came again to visit her there,
He'd feel that dark sense of despair.
He could already picture her sweet, gentle face,
Marred by that sad, empty stare.

Sometimes he'd wonder just where she had gone.
It was as if she was only a shell.
Most of the time she'd forget who he was,
Or she'd swear he was somebody else.

It was torture for him to see her like this,
Surrounded by other lost souls.
She was gradually losing herself every day.
There was nothing that she could control.

Her good days grew less and her bad days grew worse.
It was as if she had already died.
There were days he'd be willing to tell her good-bye.
She was existing, not living a life.

But oh how he'd long to see her again.
For a moment, to just catch a glimpse
Of that wonderful woman, so special and dear,
That dear wife he so desperately missed.

The cruelty of life was undeniable,
And the reality of death was a curse.
But watching that person he adored fade away,
For him, there had been nothing worse.

He wanted so much just to hold her
And together stroll down memory lane.
But the life they once knew stopped existing for her,
And she no longer could see him the same.

He held on for years, ever loyal and true.
She was still all that mattered in life.
And despite how much farther she drifted away,
His heart kept her always close by.

When that last moment came, he was with her.
He was there sitting right by her side,
And his heart filled with joy as she looked up at him,
And their love shined so bright in her eyes.

He grew up in a town where people were poor,
In a family quite wealthy with love.
He was raised by two parents who were stable but strict
And taught him to trust God above.

The days of his youth were like everyone else,
Filled with both good times and bad.
But he learned to look forward and follow his dreams
And be grateful for all that he had.

And then at 19, it was time to escape
From the shelter and safety of home.
So he went off to the Navy in search of himself
And to finally stand up on his own.

When tragedy struck and his ship was destroyed,
Torpedoed and lost to the sea,
He learned just how quickly his whole world could change
And how frightening and short life could be.

So when he returned to family and home,
He found where his future now lied,
And he studied and worked and had children,
With the love of his life by his side.
           
And the rest, as they say, is just history,
But my story all started with him.
He raised me and loved me and taught me what's right,
And I hold him forever within.

The man I've described is my father,
A man of whom I feel so proud.
He was loving, and honest, and decent,
And his humor brought sunshine through clouds.

And it's true that today he's no longer with me.
His laughter and hugs are now gone,
But my deep love for him remains in my heart,
And his memory forever lives on.

But I hope from the heavens he still could look down,
And I hope through the years he could see
Just how hard I have strived to be just like him,
So he could still feel proud of me.

Sometimes I dream that I can fly.
I lift and flap my arms just so,
And soon I'm soaring to the sky.
Graceful like a bird I go.

I find a fluffy cotton cloud
And catch myself a comfy ride.
I cannot hear a single sound,
As slowly through the air I glide.

My silky cloud floats with the breeze,
Through the bluest sky.
Just like a sailboat on the sea,
With seagulls swooping by.

I look upon the streets below
And spy my friends at play.
I dive and dip and twirl around,
As they watch in awe and wave.

I feel so giddy, light and free,
The sun so warm and bright.
I think that I shall fly all day,
And catch a star at night.

But then the wind begins to blow,
And the clouds turn angry gray.
They growl and rumble as they go,
And chase the birds away.

And though it's fun to touch the sky,
I start to feel alone.
I don't feel welcome anymore,
I think perhaps I should go home.

So I lift my arms and tuck my head,
And drift back to the ground.
And when my feet are back on earth,
The rain comes pouring down.

Indeed I had the grandest time,
Up in the boundless sky.
But it's really much too lonely there
To live in all the time.

And though my friends looked up to me
And my heroic flying feats,
It seemed they liked me just as much
When I stood on my two feet.

So I'll do my flying in my dreams,
Where it's all just make believe.
And in real life, I'll stay right here,
Where I'm loved just being me.

Before he crawled into his bed,
He prayed his soul to take.
Then curled up in the darkness,
And spent the night awake.

He dreaded the morning and all it would bring
But believed that it never could change.
For with the dawn of each new day,
That face in the mirror remained.

He longed to pull the covers up
And stay forever there.
And when the sun came creeping through,
He questioned if God even cared.

He grew weary from the struggle.
He longed to have one friend.
He wished they could accept him.
He just wanted to fit in.

But for him, school was a battlefield,
A place where he never felt safe.
And at times, he felt so much anger inside,
He worried how much more he could take.

He felt bruised and battered inside and out,
So he withdrew into himself.
He wanted to fight but didn't know how.
He wished that someone would help.

But he silently carried his hurt and his pain,
So ashamed that he acted so weak.
He tried not to cry and never complained.
He would take the abuse and retreat.

Sometimes he contemplated getting revenge.
Then some days he just wanted to hide.
Sometimes he thought he could kill everyone,
Then there were moments he wanted to die.

Every day he faced bullies, angry and mean.
They were always lurking out there.
They tried to destroy every ounce of esteem
And convinced him that nobody cared.

His life was a nightmare he had to endure,
And he wasn't alone in his pain.
He saw there were others who were different, like him,
And their torture and hurt was the same.

So is this the life that we wanted for them?
Should our children feel anger and fear?
And is this the legacy we'll leave behind,
Or should we save them while we are still here.

So instead of us arguing after the fact
And taking a stand that's too late,
We must teach them the value of kindness
And that differences should be embraced.

That the human spirit can be fragile and weak.
It can break in the blink of an eye.
And we must always respect others' dignity,
Or our humanity can't hope to survive.

The days of their youth remain in their hearts
And will color their future ahead.
So let's help them create a warm, welcome place,
Instead of a world filled with dread.

Each day we wake is such a gift;
No moment's guaranteed.
Tomorrow isn't promised,
But to fate we must concede.

We cannot know our futures,
How long or short our lives.
We simply do the best we can
Until the end arrives.

And in life, what's most important,
In the scheme of every day,
Are the people who stand by our sides
As we venture on our way.

Those cherished, loyal, patient souls,
Who take us as we are,
Who look beyond our foolishness,
Our frailties and our scars.

How often do we take the time
To lay our hearts down bare
And tell them how we truly feel
And just how much we care?

Do we freely give a compliment
And acknowledge efforts made?
Or do our own quite fragile egos
Make us feel far too afraid?

Have we tried to overcome our pride
And forgive another's wrongs?
Or do we cling to hurt and anger
And carry grudges far too long?

Do we share our blessings willingly
With those who are in need?
Or do we hoard our own good fortune
Out of selfishness and greed?

It's the people all around us
Who make us who we are.
It is they who save our erring souls
And fill our lonely hearts.

So it's time we show some gratitude
And not wait another day.
For before we even know it,
Our chance may slip away.

It's past time to say I love you
And forgive another's sins.
We must let ourselves be vulnerable
By letting others in.

For one day, tomorrow will not come;
We may not meet again.
For inevitably, for each of us,
It all comes to an end.

So go ahead and say the words;
Make today a start.
Don't regret your silence;
Share the language of your heart.

She waves for my attention,
So free upon the breeze.
The sun reflects her stars and stripes,
As proud as she can be.

She tells a tale of people lost,
Who came to find their way
And carried on through every loss,
To bring us here today.

She reminds me of the brave who fought
To keep our country strong
And shouts at me of victories
To right egregious wrongs.

She whispers to our children
Of all this country has to give
And begs that they stand up for her
And give thanks for how they live.

She cries to me of apathy,
Of prejudice and hate,
Of disrespect for what she stands,
And a Constitution we forsake.

She demands that I acknowledge her
And what she means to me
And dares me to imagine life
If she should cease to be.

And still in Glory she unfurls
And gives me hope again
For a people reunited,
And a country on the mend.

So each time I see her wave at me,
I'll stop and gaze above
And take a moment to respect
This country that I love.