Cheating Poem

Blaming Yourself When Someone Cheats On You

The reason I wrote this poem was to help a friend. She is so lost right now, and I want to help. It hurts me a lot to see her doubt herself because of a man. Not believing in herself anymore because he cheated on her. I hate that men can have the power to not only hurt you but make you blame yourself for their wrongdoings. I don't write poems, but I just needed to do something.

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I was in a relationship and married for 30 years, and all of a sudden the man of my life decides one day he's gonna cheat or go find him another woman. Well, he did and brought her to our...

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It's His Fault

© more by Amanda Gray

Published by Family Friend Poems February 2009 with permission of the Author.

Why do you beat yourself up
because you had the courage to love,
gave all of yourself in hopes that he was the one?

Why do you beat yourself up
when it was his choice to be unfaithful,
his choice to hurt you?

Why do you beat yourself up,
knowing that you had done everything for him,
supported him, comforted him,
loved him more than you loved yourself?

Why, after his lies and deceit,
do you still love him and want him to love you?
Why, after the repeat of hurt and trust being lost,
do you think that he deserves a love as pure as yours?

Why do you beat yourself up
over what you could have done better
when you know deep down there was nothing?

What makes you search for answers as to why
when they will not change the past
nor mend your broken heart?

Why, when a man decides to cheat, do we blame ourselves?
Why does it make us question every little detail about who we are,
make us think that we are not worthy of love?

Why, when a man cheats, do we still long for him to change,
realize how wrong he was, and fall in love with us again?

Why do you beat yourself up,
when you deserve more,
when all that you have done is loved someone completely?

Give yourself time, and the pain will subside,
and the mourning will cease.
You will see that you are still you,
still wonderful, beautiful you

Nothing has changed except your experience in love
and your determination to share love with another.

As you can never truly love someone
until you learn to love yourself.


more by Amanda Gray

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Debbie Thomas by Debbie Thomas
  • 5 years ago

I was in a relationship and married for 30 years, and all of a sudden the man of my life decides one day he's gonna cheat or go find him another woman. Well, he did and brought her to our camper right beside where he and I lived. Needless to say, I caught her there. After the little fight, I left and have not been back. It's been 5 months now that I've been gone and he will cry and beg and I will not let him talk me into coming back home. That ain't happening, not at all. I had no clue that things were happening behind my back. Boy, did it wake me up. If I do ever have another man, I will watch him close very close. But don't think I want another one to just get cheated on like I did. It belittles you and makes you feel less of a woman. I cry and cry and cry because I feel like I'm nobody. My heart is still shattered to pieces.. Your poem SURE woke this ole country gal up.

  • Mike by Mike
  • 6 years ago

Please pick yourself back up with pride if anyone ever cheats on you. You were not stupid; you were in love and you believed in a future.

  • Unkown Sorry by Unkown Sorry
  • 6 years ago

Such amazing words. It describes my situation so well. I am torn and heartbroken, but your words have touched me and made me realize it wasn't my fault. I was lied to for months after looking him in the eyes, crying and begging for the truth. Just last week I had gotten it after being manipulated into thinking I was the crazy one. Thank you for this. I needed it.

  • Melissa by Melissa
  • 7 years ago

My husband cheated on me with his colleague for two years. We are married for three years. This broke me down in a million pieces. The worst part is she's pregnant. I struggle to forgive them both. I think I lost myself completely...tears keep rolling in my heart...with a smile on my face. Trying to keep everything in control. I suspected something was going on and confronted him a million times...but still he lied to my face. I'm broken and torn.

  • Kk by Kk, India
  • 10 years ago

I cannot stop tears from rolling down my eyes as I read this poem.
You have a gift.. Continue writing. God bless.

  • Dave by Dave, Leeds
  • 11 years ago

Men have the power do they? Have you ever considered that a married woman could cheat? Because, guess what? They do! Try thinking what it's like being the one in the triangle who isn't married. The one who always comes away with absolutely nothing.

  • Linda Kay by Linda Kay
  • 6 years ago

Of course women cheat. Write a poem about it, cry about it. It's therapeutic. It will help the bitterness go away. Don't hate all for what one did.

Thank you to everyone for the nice comments! Although this was not a personal poem, I still wrote it with experience. I have been hurt many times in past relationships and only now can say that I have found true love. Five years of marriage and three kids later I am still head over heals. There is hope out there for all of you that have been hurt. What I can say that was different in this relationship was that I could be myself, 100% me. Not having to mold into what they want but just being excepted for who I am, good and bad.

  • Lohrayne by Lohrayne, Washington
  • 12 years ago

Beautiful Poem!!! I was cheated on by the love of my life and the father of my children and the author is right, It's His Fault. I think people, Men and Women alike, blame themselves because they made themselves vulnerable. It's a horrible experience but the reality is if you could go back and change all of those things you felt like you were doing wrong, and could have made the difference, new issues would arise. It's not us, It's them dealing with their insecurity and there lack of love for themselves. Never lets someone else make you feel less than, I know I won't!

  • J by J, Czech Republic
  • 12 years ago

This poem is amazing. I always considered myself a strong woman but with this man I met 14 months ago, I lost pieces of my pride by forgiving him all the time and making exceptions. Five years ago I found out that he cheated on me and lied to my eyes every day, for half a year. Now he's calling and bombarding me with sad messages and its really hard because he was the one I really loved. These days are really hard for me, but I'm going to print this out and stick it on the wall. THANK YOU

  • Willie by Willie, Allentown Pa
  • 12 years ago

I understand how she feels.. I'm a guy and I cheated on the most wonderful woman that I have ever known. Till this day I will never forgive myself because the person that I most loved I shattered into a million pieces. I really do wish that I had died that instant that she found out. Even though I wanted to tell her myself I knew that I was going to shatter her whole world. I wish that I could go back in time and fix this. But I can't. I'm sorry for those woman that had been cheated on.

  • Shelby by Shelby
  • 8 years ago

Thank you, Willie for your honesty, sincerity & courage. I respect you for owning up to your mistakes. I hope someday you can forgive yourself, and put the past behind you, where it belongs.

  • Orlando by Orlando, Fl
  • 12 years ago

Thank you, Amanda for that wonderful poem I now feel at peace with myself because, I have also experience the same thing with my ex-boyfriend. He was a compulsive liar and a cheater. I feel like as women that have been through so much pain in life. That when it comes to love and relationships we loose our self worth when we choose to accept the nasty behavior of some men. Because, we want so, bad in life to find someone to love us back. We yearn for true unconditional love from others because, that is how we love unconditionally. But, we fall prey for those that are deceitful. It's hard to get over a broken heart..some days you don't even want to live another day or another minute but, what we have to realize is that we can't give that person the power or authority of losing the love we have for ourselves!

  • Monica by Monica, Sapulpa
  • 13 years ago

My husband cheated on me last night with a girl who might have a HIV. I want to be with him. Our son has been running around asking for dada and I don't know what to tell him. Your poem helps me realized that I'm worth more than that. I guess when the new wears off he will realize what he lost.

  • Lost For Now by Lost For Now, Melbourne
  • 13 years ago

I have recently been cheated on by my husband. I am going through stages where I am ok, then I am falling again. I do not want him back even though he wants makes me sick to know I never really knew the man I married.
I guess I need to forgive myself before I can move on.
I understand now how it feels to be cheated on.

  • Danyelle by Danyelle
  • 14 years ago

I know how it feels to get your heart broken many times. It hurts so bad, but all you can do is give it time and let it heal and hope the next person won't do the same, but with my luck the persons always hurts me

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