Poems by Alan Balter

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  • The Lake

    I wrote this poem for my wife. Together, we have shared a magnificent 42 year love affair, world travel, and 14 healthy and otherwise terrific grandchildren. I hope you enjoy my poem and will consider it in your contest and for publication.

    • pending
    • Posted on 01/10/24

    in Short Love Poems

    The Lake


    waters, blue-green and laced with foam

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    • Votes 10
    • Rating 4.50
  • Great Grandpa

    • Published: January 2018

    in Family Poems for Kids

    Great Grandpa is a wise old man who says he's ninety-four.
    He tells me that he lost his leg fighting in some war.
    When I was just a little tot with eyes and nose still runny,
    He swears that he forgot my name, so now he calls me Sonny.

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    • Stories 1
    • Shares 552
    • Favorited 9
    • Votes 105
    • Rating 4.29
    • Poem of the Day
    Featured Shared Story

    Balter's poem reminds me of my own grandfather whom I lost 49 years ago when he was 94. I remember his two habits very lucidly. He was a frugal eater. He used to weigh his food every time...

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  • Dead Is Dead

    • Published: April 2017

    in Humorous Poems

    When somebody dies, folks hardly ever say "dead."
    They prefer "expired" or "departed" instead.
    Most of the euphemisms don't do any harm,
    Like "biting the dust" or "buying the farm."

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    • Stories 3
    • Shares 3796
    • Favorited 71
    • Votes 715
    • Rating 4.28
    Featured Shared Story

    I found this poem very refreshing and true. Very good.

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  • Englksh Is A Pane


    • Published: October 2017

    in Funny Poems for Kids

    Hear eye sit inn English class; the likelihood is that eye won't pass
    An F on my report card wood bee worse than swallowing glass
    It's knot that eye haven't studied, often till late at knight
    Butt the rules are sew confusing, eye simply can't get them write

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    • Stories 4
    • Shares 8158
    • Favorited 22
    • Votes 1061
    • Rating 4.27
    • Poem of the Day
    Featured Shared Story

    Very clever and funny, but it kinda blows my mind reading through this at the same time! How on earth did I manage to learn this wonderful, confusing language?! I must be converting it into...

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    Touched by the poem? Share your story! (4)

  • Harvey The Hippo

    • Published: July 2021

    in Limericks

    Harvey is a huge hippopotamus
    Who bathes in a bay that is bottomless
    HIs mouth is as large
    As a riverboat barge

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    • Stories 5
    • Shares 220
    • Favorited 6
    • Votes 45
    • Rating 4.24
    Featured Shared Story

    I enjoyed the quality presentation of the hippo story. The rhyme style was very skilled, and there was care for rhythm while telling a coherent and entertaining tale.

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  • The Benefits Of Exercise

    • Published: October 2017

    in Funny Life Poems

    All my life I've been extra large, plus
    I'm known as a very large fellow.
    I would easily pass as a school district bus
    If somebody painted me yellow.

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    • Stories 2
    • Shares 3532
    • Favorited 37
    • Votes 572
    • Rating 4.23
    Featured Shared Story

    Very good poem! It is my favorite so far. I would love it if more like this were written.

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  • Who Nose?

    • Published: October 2017

    in Funny Poems for Kids

    Some are as long as hoses
    You buy at a garden store.
    Mine can be used to smell roses
    From a couple of miles or more.

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    • Stories 1
    • Shares 771
    • Favorited 3
    • Votes 171
    • Rating 4.11
    Featured Shared Story

    I think children will like the poem. It's funny. You must have a lot of imagination to write such a poem. I like it!

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  • Night Noises

    • Published: September 2019

    in Funny Poems for Kids

    My parents' bedroom is far from mine, so I have to wonder
    What the noise is every night that sounds a lot like thunder.
    We don't live near the seashore, but almost every morn
    I'm wakened by a noise that sounds like a fog horn.

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    • Stories 1
    • Shares 974
    • Favorited 12
    • Votes 133
    • Rating 4.00
    Featured Shared Story

    The writer has given a humorous touch to a common incident found in many a home. Mother's lighthearted comment, "I don't mind; it's really a godsend" makes the idea more effective.

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  • Crowded Closet

    My name is Alan Balter, and when I was a young man, I taught at Chicago State University. I loved being a college professor, because my students listened to everything I said. Actually, I learned as much from them as they learned from me. I wrote "Crowded Closet" because I have seen so many negative changes in our country. Sometimes, I yearn for the good old days when people cared about each other and our leaders were inspiring.

    • pending
    • Posted on 05/06/17

    in Change Poems

    Father saw me looking in my closet yesterday
    A place in a state of rather constant disarray
    It's something I do often to stimulate my mind
    Because I'm never certain of exactly what I'll find

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    • Stories 0
    • Shares 0
    • Favorited 0
    • Votes 3
    • Rating 3.67
  • Travel Blues

    • Published: April 2017

    in Humorous Poems

    A voyage abroad with my good wife Maude turned into a real mess
    In need of some rest in Budapest, about all I got was stress
    Then in France I took a chance on some pork a little too rare
    I so regret that Monsieur's toilette was very crowded there

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    • Stories 0
    • Shares 106
    • Favorited 2
    • Votes 34
    • Rating 3.65

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