Poems by Shianne

For every time that I broke down
There was a fake smile to cover the frown
I hid behind lies when things got tough
Forced myself to think it was enough
My tears were masked by the rain
Unseen by all, alone with my pain
Each night was a cover to hide my cries
To keep from showing all these lies
If I could go back, I'd change it all
Stop myself from starting to fall
Consumed by hatred, I lost all sight
I knew what was wrong but it felt so right
I couldn't live without the pain
Or the anger pulsing through my vein
Each truth a lie I learned to hold
While watching each one start to unfold
If I could go back, all that would change
These diamond lies wouldn't seem so strange
I'd undo my lies and make them true
Hold on tightly to all that I do
Forget the bad, and think of only each day
And what's to come, without dismay
I'd forget that I cried those tears
Remember only every one of my fears
I'd try to be everything that I lost
Before I fell, remember the cost
Hope for the best, and try to be
All that died when I lost me
I'd turn back time to redo all this
And relive the life I almost missed
Only if I could turn it back
I'd find everything that I started to lack
No longer would fake smiles appear
They'd be true with nothing to fear
It'd be as though it was a dream
That came one night to make it seem
As though this was really true
But now there's only one thing I must do
Go back in time and erase this pain
Wash it away on rivers of rain
All this could happen if I went back
And once again in my life, I'd be on the right track.

A wish upon a bed of lies
A hope that fell like tears from your eyes
Shattered dreams cast aside
Forgotten memories of how you tried
Screams that pierce the cool night air
Relive these memories, you they dare
Hatred pulses from your veins
Anger no longer shackled in chains
Silence greets you on this night
Cries and sobs as hatred meets
Turned on you, pointed the blame
Without a thought, without a shred of shame
The tears shine bright, scarlet red
Yet not one falls, left unshed
The dark consumes your very soul
Left behind, you play a new role
A dreamer of shadows, a seer of tales,
A bearer of lies, behind you they trail
One touch shows what is to be
A curse granted for all eternity
Broken hopes upon the ground
Guilt drenched thoughts the only sound
Cast away, these diamond lies
Seen only by the dreaming eyes
Shattered glass shows the way
To darker dreams stored away
A nightmare begins to unfold its wings
Voices of hatred all it brings
A lie turned back from a dream
A reaper of souls, it may seem
One word will tell of your fate
And one kiss shows it came too late.

Each time you try it only fails
Weaving lies from older tales
You leave the truth far behind
Walking on as you find

Each was a dream you wished was true
Imagining irises of the deepest blue
The sweet smelling roses with their scent
Of lilacs in summer, whole world was bent

Tilting away as everything turns red
Each scream is another tear unshed
Leaving a gap, a hole not filled
Day after day each one is stilled

Lost forever in a void of dreams
That saved you from the haunting screams
The voices filled with tears and hate
Guilt free once, now it's too late

Try to turn back, but instead you stay
Reliving these memories each passing day
Dreams upon hate, tears upon pain
Lies sharp as diamonds, falling like rain

Weaving this world to hide the best
Awake each night, only death brings rest
Only silence brings the dreams you crave
And yet instead still it can't save

You from the worst, of what's to be
For lies are truth, and dreams insanity.

Heartbeat falls upon deaf ears,
Slowly take away all my fears.
Coldness closes in all around
As your shattered soul falls to the ground.
Teardrops fall from the skies,
Raindrops form in your eyes.
The hurting goes so deep.
Starlit sky burns out as you weep
Tears of fury, cries of hate,
As you curse your destined fate.
Your wall breaks down, exposes the world outside
And reminds you of every time you tried
To be perfect for the one you love,
To be like an angel sent from above.
Reminding you of all you couldn't be,
You chose this lie, wove this fantasy.
You wanted happiness for a while, at least,
And by doing so you unleashed a beast
That took the happiness, left only pain,
Turned your world black, your dreams now slain.
As you know, he broke your heart,
But your soul was shattered from the very start.

Whisper it, don't let them hear.
Be careful; it's them you should fear.
Follow them, do what they say,
And for your sake, don't run away.
Their hearts are as black as black can be.
Their souls chill you to the bone, don't you see?
They'll lure you into their arms and tear you apart.
Then they'll suck the blood out of your heart,
Leave you gasping for air that surrounds you.
I know it sounds unreal, like it's not true,
But don't look at them, don't ask who they are.
Their darkness surrounds us from afar.
Don't provoke them, don't make them mad,
For if you do, the outcome could be bad.
The demons will rise through the land.
The darkness will clasp your cold, icy hand.
You'll remember all your darkened power,
And the demons will rise in the night's darkest hour.
They'll lead you to a darker path,
And you'll be the one to unleash the demon's wrath.

I feel like I'm falling, dying inside.
Wish I could tell you, wish in you I could confide.
Tell you exactly how bad I feel,
How reality fails to be real,
The tears I cry don't get past my eyes.
If reality shows, I cover it with lies.
I can't bear to think what would happen if you knew.
I can't bear to know what you would do.
The screams I build inside of me
Are covered up, begging to be free.
The pain is tearing me apart.
I may have stopped, but again I must start,
For without it I feel lost.
When I'm not happy what's the cost
Of a little bit of me that is spilled
So the emptiness inside of me can be filled?
I know I said I wouldn't again,
But try to understand if you can.
I need to do this to be whole.
I need to do this to piece together my soul.
I need to do this to be able to feel
So I can know exactly what is real.