Hurting Poem

I often picture what it would be like to see you again. To hear your voice, or feel the weight of your hand in mine. I rehearse what I'd say to you, whether or not I'd tell you about the poetry, how I'd reply if you asked me if I was happy, yet.
But the truth is I'll never tell you any of it. I won't call or find my way to your door. As much as I miss you, I know that you will want to love me - to pick up the pieces of me and hold them together, the way you always used to. And we'll end up back where we were, with you ignoring how much it hurt to try and love me - still giving even when there's nothing left for me to take.
If we're honest, we both know you're better off without me. If I really want you to be happy, then I have to accept that it means being far away from me. So I will love you from a distance, even if that means you believe the worst of me.

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You're Better Off Without Me

© more by Blake Auden

Published: April 28, 2021

I’ve written you
so many letters
I won’t send.
I’ve rehearsed
phone calls
and played out
chance meetings
in my head.
And yet, I’ll never
tell you any of it.
Because I know
(deep down)
you’re better off
without me,
and I want you
to be happy,
whatever that means.


Blake Auden is a poet and lyricist based in Brighton, UK. His debut book Tell the Birds She’s Gone is now on its third print run, and his second collection, Beekeeper, was released in September 2020.


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