Poems by Belinda Stotler

Shall I wither and fall like an autumn leaf,
From this deep sorrow - from this painful grief?
How can I go on or find a way to be strong?
Will I ever again enjoy life's sweet song?

Sometimes a warm memory sheds light in the dark
And eases the pain like the song of a Meadow Lark.
Then it flits away on silent wings and I'm alone;
Hungering for more of the light it had shone.

Shall grief's bitter cold sadness consume me,
Like a winter storm on the vast angry sea?
How can I fill the void and deep desperate need
To replant my heart with hope's lovely seed?

Then I look at a photo of your playful smiling face
And for a moment I escape to a serene happy place;
Remembering the laughter and all you would do,
Cherishing the honest, caring, loving spirit of you.

Shall spring's cheerful flowers bring life anew
And allow me to forget the agony of missing you?
Will spring's burst of new life bring fresh hope
And teach my grieving soul how to cope?

Sometimes I'll read a treasured card you had given me
And each word's special meaning makes me see,
The precious gift of love I was fortunate to receive,
And I realize you'd never want to see me grieve.

Shall summer's warm brilliant sun bring new light,
And free my anguished mind of its terrible plight?
Will its gentle breezes chase grief's dark clouds away,
And show me a clear path towards a better day?

When I visit the grave where you lie in eternal peace,
I know that death and heaven brought you release;
I try to envision your joy on that shore across the sea,
And, until I join you, that'll have to be enough for me.

For all the remaining seasons of my life on earth,
There'll be days I'll miss your merriment and mirth,
And sometimes I'll sadly long for all the yesterdays;
Missing our chats and your gentle understanding ways.

Yet, the lessons of kindness and love you taught me,
And the good things in life you've helped me to see;
Linger as lasting gifts that comfort and will sustain,
Until I journey to that peaceful shore and see you again.

Over in the corner sits an empty rocking chair,
Yet my mind's eye can still picture her there,
Gently rocking to and fro at a slow steady pace,
Wearing a soft loving glow upon her sweet face;
As the rocking seemed to carry her worries away
And eased the painful weariness of the long day.

My sister's old rocking chair sits so quietly now
But seems to revive my grieving heart somehow;
For it stirs fond memories of talks we once had,
Which gave us such comfort when we were sad,
Or helped us recall funny stories of childhood years
That brought glorious laughter mixed with joyful tears.

To many, it's just an old forgotten chair in the corner,
But it is so much more to this solemn mourner;
For it is where a beloved sister would often sit,
Sharing her humorous stories with charming wit,
Or giving advice that came from a compassionate soul.
Oh, how these lovely memories now serve to console.

Sometimes I will sit in my sister's rocking chair,
At moments when missing her is too much to bear,
And I need to feel closer to the kind, generous heart
To which I was forever bonded from my life's start;
She was my most trusted confidante and loving friend,
Who I will always cherish beyond my life's end.

How lonely and forlorn that old chair seems to be,
But I realize it's not the chair that is lonely - only me!
For I miss the dear sister who once graced the chair.
Oh, how I wish she were still quietly sitting there,
Gently rocking to and fro at a slow, steady pace,
Wearing a soft loving glow upon her sweet face.

One morning I found you in eternal sleep;
I tried to wake you as I began to weep,
But all my pleas you could not hear.
Oh, if I could have only kept you near,
Away from the voices of those who went before,
Who beckoned you to come to that distant shore.

I find it so very hard to believe
That you have gone and I must grieve;
I call out your name -- you answer not,
And I look for you in every familiar spot.
Everything seems so strange and surreal.
I ask everyday is it a dream or real?

Where are the soft brown eyes of affection?
Where is the laughter and talk of childhood reflection?
Where is the loving care when I was sick or sad?
Where is the generous soul for which I was glad?
Where is the forgiving and understanding heart?
Where are the bonds that were there from the start?

I miss all the little ways you showed you cared,
For there were so many good moments we shared;
Looking back on my life's assorted scenes,
I realized you taught me what love truly means.
You were my trusted confidante and best friend,
On whose loving support I could always depend.

I look at your smiling face in all my photos.
Memories flood my mind as I touch the mementos
From the happy times you and I have had,
But now these bring tears and make me sad;
For the time together went by in a wink.
Life was not as long as we'd like to think.

Sometimes memories bring comfort and make me smile,
But there are times when grief takes over for a while.
Friends offer gentle words and prayers to console
And tell me what has happened to your loving soul.
Can it be true what they say of time healing grief?
Is it enough when they say death has given you relief?

Can we believe what others say of a better place,
Where our beloved ones rest in God's warm embrace?
I should be happy you're free of pain and sorrow,
And rejoice that you'll always have tomorrow.
How can I then be so heartbroken and selfishly cry?
Return to me from that peaceful place where you lie!

Now I look down at your name on a cold, hard stone
That says little of the loving light you have shone.
It tells nothing of the wonderful person you were
And only serves to remind me of the painful loss I endure;
But I know your kind soul wants no tears or pain.
Instead, you'd want warm memories and love to remain.

Although I cry and stand grief-stricken by your grave,
I promise not to forget the loving memories you gave,
But still I miss you so very much, my sister dear,
And your caring words I once again long to hear;
My heart's only solace is one day I will see you as before,
Beckoning me to come join you on that white distant shore.

Graves of those once loved in times gone by,
Quietly lying in rows beneath the Earth's sky;
Such a peaceful place of many deep sorrows,
Where the living walk among solemn rows,
Looking for the grave where memories lie,
As they recall the day of the final goodbye.

The dead bring memories of joy and sorrows
For loved ones walking among the silent rows;
Some stand by graves in hushed reflection.
Others speak aloud of heartbreak and affection;
Some visit for just a moment and others for a while,
Then walk away with a tear or memory's fond smile.

Many graves have mementos or lovely flowers,
Some with new sod needing nature's showers,
While others have clearly fallen out of memory,
With only stones showing a brief life's summary,
Until they fade and crumble over the long years,
When no one is left to care or shed grief's tears.

Each grave has a life story once known,
Stories created as life's seeds were sown.
Some stories live on in family histories,
While others wane into unknown mysteries;
All eventually forgotten as time passes by,
When all those memories grow old and die.

Such a peaceful place of many deep sorrows,
Where the living walk among solemn rows,
Looking for the grave where memories lie,
Sadly mourning until their own final goodbye,
When they too will quietly lie beneath the sky,
As their loved ones mourn for times gone by.

Your face frozen in blissful eternal sleep now.
As I kiss you goodbye on your cold brow,
A last tearful glance as you're taken away.
There was nothing anyone could do or say.
My pleas and tears won't bring you back to me.
Comforting friends could not help me to see.
No words could explain to my grieving heart,
Why cruel death had to tear my world apart.

Sometimes I'd find treasured mementos you kept
Or reread the cherished cards from you as I wept;
Fond memories return from photos of smiling faces,
Or suddenly come to mind in the strangest places;
Although I sometimes sadly long for all the yesterdays
And sorely miss our chats and your understanding ways,
Your gifts helped me relive the good times we shared,
And reminded me that you loved me and truly cared.

Even though your death is a most painful memory,
The memories in recesses of my mind's treasury
Have helped save me from grief's dark, lonely decree,
That your death meant only painful sorrow for me;
For the loving bonds remain and will never depart,
Ensuring that you are with me as a part of my heart,
To comfort and sustain me until I see you once more,
When I'm called to come join you on an eternal shore.

I wonder if your spirit lingered a while on that fateful day
And witnessed grief's sorrow as your body was taken away.
Did you see me gently kiss you goodbye on your cold brow,
And hear me ask how I was to continue without you now?
Did you hear the sobs and see the tears flowing from me,
Before you answered calls from across a vast eternal sea?
For I'd want you to know, before your spirit had to depart,
That you had left love's precious gifts for a grieving heart.

The perpetual cadence of the vast sea
Stirs a restless desire that engulfs me.
Like an infinite force I dare not impede,
Briefly rushing in - only to then recede.
Beckoning me to leave life's safe shore,
Into deep waters of mystery and lore.

The seagulls' cries seem to taunt me,
To follow them over the endless sea,
Where I'd be free to spread my wings
And discover the new life the sea brings.
Yet, fear holds me fast to a familiar place,
Away from the unknown trials I may face.

Even the ocean's waves seem to conspire,
Relentlessly calling to stoke curiosity's fire,
As they rumble ashore with impatient haste,
Swirling about my feet with purpose chaste,
Urging me to follow as they return to the sea,
Leaving a luring trail of life or its relics for me.

Shall I boldly explore the sea's possibilities,
Or allow imagined worries to be liabilities?
Although I cannot foretell all the sea offers,
The strong desire to enrich my mind's coffers
Begs me to obey the sea's enticing siren song
And let its wandering currents carry me along.

As the day slowly wanes on the sea's horizon,
I ponder the sea's glittering trail to the sun,
Inviting me to watch its vibrant dying light,
Before the day's life gives way to the night.
Still, I lingered a while after it faded away,
Wondering about the promises of a new day.

My mother seems so far away from me
On that beautiful white shore across the sea.
Yet I remember love's soft glow upon her face
And the feel of her touch and tender embrace.

When I am weary from the burdens I've borne,
And the path is unclear and I feel so forlorn,
I remember her loving support was always near
And her advice made the path ahead seem clear.

When I feel there is no one who seems to care,
Or when the heartache seems too hard to bear,
I remember how she always stood by my side
And would tenderly wipe away the tears I cried.

When there are moments of great joy and pride
And I wish my Mother was standing at my side,
I remember she saw more than I thought I could be,
And know I owe my triumphs to her belief in me.

When I reminisce about the things she used to say
And I miss her and think she is so far away,
I remember what she gave lives on through me,
And one day I'll see her on the shore across the sea.

Leaves fluttering on a gentle breeze,
Within the forest of whispering trees,
Makes sunlight gracefully dance there,
Upon the ground and everywhere.
Dappling streams with sparkling light,
Catching the colors of birds in flight,
Giving flowers a lovely surreal glow,
Rousing our spirits with nature's show.

Nightfall gives the forest a mysterious allure
As trees become shadows of what they were;
Soon a chorus arises deep in forest thickets,
From the croaking frogs and chirping crickets,
Blending in the whip-poor-wills' lonely calls,
With the owls' echoing pleas in forest halls,
As fireflies scatter light upon a dark palette,
All beneath the mystic forest's starlit coverlet.

Nature's melodic sounds are sure to enthrall,
As life's songs peal within a forest cathedral.
Nature adds the wind's timbre with a breeze,
Or the rain's resonating rhythm through leaves.
Merging with rippling sounds of forest streams,
All serenading restless minds into daydreams
That comforts those who seek refuge there.
If only they'll listen while in the forest's care.

Thoughts become gentle among natural sights,
While our spirits entwine with forest delights,
Enticing us to hear life's natural gifts of mirth,
Inviting us to see the wondrous beauty of Earth,
As nature stirs feelings some cannot determine;
Yet, the subtle answers lie in a forest's sermon,
Urging us to listen to instincts we once knew,
To walk lightly on Earth as other creatures do.

Come, walk with me into the forest's blessed abode,
To see the wondrous beauty the Earth has bestowed;
We'll bask in the surreal splendor that surrounds us,
And listen to nature composing the forest's grand opus,
As sounds of whispering trees and burbling streams,
Send our minds wandering into a poet's lovely dreams.

We'll walk where sunlight sets the forest's leaves aglow,
Weaving open paths to dapple golden light on all below;
Where trees shade us from summer heat and harsh rays,
Freeing our minds so we can see Mother Nature's ways,
Of creating nurturing sanctuaries for life dwelling there,
To shield its tender wards from storms too hard to bear.

Come sit beneath the glowing embers of an autumn tree,
Whose rich hues are a natural wonder many come to see,
While colorful leaves glide down in a whirling course,
Like embers breaking loose from their flaming source.
Glowing for a moment as if falling to their ending fate,
Instead, nourishing Earth for rebirth into a new state.

The wintering forest seems to be a still, desolate place.
Yet, under the snow and autumn leaves of a tree's base,
Beats the promising pulse of new life that patiently waits
For spring's warmth and rain to open wide nature's gates;
Roam with me under the trees standing strong over it all,
To watch them quietly sleep until nature's beckoning call.

Let us stroll in spring's forest where we will reap
The joy of Earth awakening its children from sleep,
And hear life's chorus and watch its offspring grow,
As waking trees renew their canopy over all below;
Come share with me the forest's spirit at rebirth,
So we too are reborn within this temple of Earth.

Every now and then let us answer the forest's call,
To come see life's beauty and the miracle of it all;
If we listen with our hearts as we walk among trees,
We may understand the message carried on a breeze,
For us to blend with the forest's spirit so it will beguile
Us into walking under its lovely trees for just a while.