I've just read this, and every word sums up how I feel about my husband, David. He lifted us both up from dark places, and with him by my side we are finally home and together after 25 years apart.
Sorry you have felt attacked for the choices of your husband. Addiction is a fiend. My mother died with Alzheimer's while my son recently died of an overdose. In some ways in both instances it's a "long good-bye." For a long time my mother could "pretend" to be herself - but only for increasingly brief periods. I'm not sure it was dramatically different with my son who could be sober and clear-headed for a time. It was only then he seemed like the person we could remember. But that person couldn't stay but just so long before he was once again the addict. Very sad.
It tells a touching and moving story using tight, easily readable stanzas. That's a rare combination. Nicely done!
Hi Amanda, so sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my brother to murder during an armed robbery on Halloween 2017 in South Florida. He was expecting his first child, a baby girl, who will never meet her father. I feel your pain. I don't have any children yet, but when he found out he was going to be a dad that year he almost convinced my spouse and I to conceive so our kids could grow together and take them to Disney. Oh, how I miss him. Stay strong.
I'm sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my older brother to murder on Halloween 2017. I know the pain you speak of. It's physical, it's real, and it won't heal. I didn't see my brother lifeless after the incident, but his body in that casket days later was enough. I can only imagine your experience. I think of him as much as I can so that it all remains fresh. Sometimes the memories are so good that my heart aches, aches due to the fact that I know past memories are as good as they will get.
I relate to your poem. I'm sorry for your loss. My big brother was murdered 10/31/2017. It still feels surreal. I still see his face, his smile, hear his voice, his laughter. A piece of my heart is missing. Not only did they murder my brother, but they took my mom along with them. They took a unborn child's father. The only hope and strength to move forward is his baby girl that he never even got to meet. I have to be strong for her, so I can share stories about him and she can know him through my family and me. There is no justification for murder. Even when the suspect is caught, it doesn't mean anything. Nothing will bring him back. No matter who we are or identify as, we need to value everyone's life and not take it for greed, power, or need. I hope you find closure because I know I never will.
It was December 21, 2017, when I was asked by my sister if I wanted to write someone in prison. I was a little shy at first because he is 45 and I am 61. From the first email that he wrote me, I never looked back. It has been 9 months of a few hiccups and at times feelings of insecurities on both our parts. All I can say is I fell in love first, and a few months later on February 12th he told me he loves me too. He supports me emotionally in every way and makes sure with every call he begins with "How are you?" and ends with "I Love you." He has been in for 8 years, and his release date is early 2019. I have to say these next 4 months feel so stressful. I saw this poem tonight; it has given me some peace that I haven't felt in a long time. My relationship with my boyfriend has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I finally found true love!
I am so sorry for your loss but so thankful you wrote about your story. Your story is one of millions I've been reading, but I stopped at yours because although it's my nephew who's drinking, not my husband, he still is as golden as the sun shine. He is absolutely perfect, except he is now an alcoholic and unfortunately has come to a dead end in his life. He's stuck. He'd been drinking for years, but a lot of my family drinks socially. I assumed he was too. I should of known another addict would be among the family as every generation is falling. Me, my brother, my niece, cousins, and now my nephew. In million years I never thought it would be him. He is married with two beautiful, loud and full of life. How do I help him or get him help?
To the one I love...I wanted to tell you how much you changed my life. When I first saw you I thought that you are the chosen one to be my husband.
To my big shadow...
I followed you around when I was a kid like your little shadow. We cried and laughed together, had our highs and lows, but we grew stronger with love. It's a closeness and bond that no one can destroy. there is no other sister like my sister who's strong and loving and is mine to treasure forever. I'll follow my big shadow wherever she goes. I'm always going to be with her. In my heart and soul, I'm always with you.
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