Uncertain Reality

Why does life feel like it's trying me, testing me viciously?
Everyday it's stressing me
stressing me, got me questioning
why me?

When is it enough
What will it take
Just for a moment to catch a break.

Days feel like weeks feels like months so unsure
Everyday it's all the same

A blur, A blur

Harsh reality?
Uncertainty
Uncertainty

I feel stuck beyond measure
Lost in the days, wondering if I'm ever going to be ok.
I failed myself and my kids too
What's a single mother to do?

There's nothing to gain
Seems impossible to do but I've got so much to lose.

Everyday I'm lighting my fuse, waiting, wondering
what's it gonna take, what will it be,  when is it my turn for F ing sake ?
Why can't I be the mother I want to be, why does life have so many uncertainties?

My kids, my loves, my whole heart
Mama's so sorry we got a rough start.

I try so hard to figure it out
Not a great hand I was dealt.
One thing after another, chance after chance
Life keeps testing me, breaking me, beating me down.
Making me forget who wears the crown.

So much uncertainty,  no certainty in sight
One thing I won't do is give up, not tonight, that's a fact,
I'm bossing up now and taking back my life.

I'm going to give them all of me
I'm going to be their brightest light
The tears that fall every night will be wiped away with every fight.
Please give me the strength, the means I need to be what my babies deserve from me.

So much
So much uncertainty in this life and so much struggle to make it alright
but one thing I know for sure,
They can't take my love away from me,
They can't take my dignity
My pride or joy..

I'm coming back strong
Not only for them but for me .
The ones who doubt me, you will see
I'm going to be the best version of me!
Nothing will stop me or come in between
Building my life for my children and me.

It's never to late to fulfill your dreams, follow your heart.
Just don't look back and always, always believe.

I want my kids to be proud of me, look back and have great memories. We will create our own reality.

I'm building a life, one that they can see
My bad choices in life won't define who I'm meant to be,
no more  wondering, questioning, years of inconsistencies.

No more fear
No doubts

No more uncertainty