Fear Poem

15 years, 1 child, 2 relationships, and other than with my son, I could not return love. Through drugs, alcohol and ultimately rock bottom, I realized I did not love myself. This poem was written at ROCK BOTTOM, ground zero, without knowing exactly what was wrong.

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This poem has touched me in more ways than one. It's the knowing that I push the people who love me away because I feel I don't know how to handle being loved from the scars I carry from the...

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I Wish I Knew Who I Am

©

Published: October 2008

You tell me you love me
I tell you the same
I don't know who I am
it's a shame it's insane

I want to love me and you
like I love my own son
Inside I feel dead
and I'm totally numb

I prick my finger
from a rose with a thorn
A reminder that our children
are of the purest form

A mirror reflection of body we are
The more I look the more that I scar
The more that I scar the better I feel
In this crazy world that seems oh so unreal

The whole world is my stage
it helps cover my fear
For we are all merely actors
according to Shakespeare

When I speak of the truth it feels like a noose
That's slowly stretching my neck
And then when I lie the noose opens wide
And postpones the decent to my death

I feel so amused or maybe confused
Of the thoughts that run through my head
It's just so unfair with these thoughts I compare
My whole life I just can't stay ahead

Is it me, is it you
Is it life, is it truth
Is it destiny or time
Is it yours, is it mine

I don't know, but I hope it comes soon
Because it HURTS

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • by Tara, KY
  • 8 years ago

This poem has touched me in more ways than one. It's the knowing that I push the people who love me away because I feel I don't know how to handle being loved from the scars I carry from the ones I have loved and lost. I hear of guys I've had in my life who are married with children and living great lives. I'm happy for them all and just one day wish that I can let go of my fears and let someone close enough to me so one day I too can be happy. It's the what if's that bring me down but someday I will be ready to Love again.

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