Depression Poem

This poem is about my struggle with depression and self-mutilation. I have been fighting for 5 years and this is how it feels sometimes. I really hope I can relate to someone and help them know they are not alone, even though it is extremely easy to feel like you are.

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I've been suffering with depression for a while now. I truly don't know how long as I truly can't remember a starting point for it. People would never guess. Never. I am 14, have a good...

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Sweet Agony

©

Published: June 2011

What do you see when you look in my eyes?
A freak? A nameless being?
Or maybe simply another face in the endless sea of people
What do I see when I look at myself in the mirror?
I see pain, laughter, tears, smiles, fatigue, and endless energy.
What do I do
When the world I live in
Doesn't know I am suffering?
I feel the scars
On my heart
My arms
My wrists
And I think back to a time when I was truly alone
Wondering the streets at night
The sky dark and stormy,
With the cold rain falling down on me
It was like the sky was crying
All the tears I was too afraid to shed myself
That was along time ago,
but still I can feel the sharpness of the blades upon my soul
My skin
My heart
Sometimes at night I sit up
Stare at my window
And cry, for all the pain I still sometimes feel.
I wonder if life is meant to be more then this,
This town
These people
These feelings
I am like a caged animal,
Trapped inside bars
Locked in, with no hope to escape
I scream
Yell
Cry
But no one hears me
I stand alone
On my own little path of life
That I have been on for as long as I can remember
With a broken heart
A broken soul
A broken mind
Still I struggle on
So that I can maybe see beyond this world
Of darkness and despair,
So I can see the world beyond,
Of love and life and happiness
So here I stand,
A smile on my face,
Even though I am being torn apart on the inside.
I will continue to smile,
And feel
And love
And I will survive; survive to tomorrow
So I can learn to trust again
And this sweet agony
That has been with me all my life
Will be dispersed
Become nonexistent
Gone
No more.
And I will finally
Be
Alive.

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Dan Latham by Dan Latham
  • 2 years ago

I've been suffering with depression for a while now. I truly don't know how long as I truly can't remember a starting point for it. People would never guess. Never. I am 14, have a good circle of friends, a family that I know loves me and. putting all modestly aside, I am consistently the best in my class in all my subjects. My problem is not my life. It's me. I'm smart, I'll say that. Really smart, and that is so much more of a curse than you could imagine. I think forwards, backwards, left, right, up and down. If it exists, I've thought of it. I think myself into holes, I hate myself and my mind for all the horrible things I've thought and done. I have depression. I can't feel happiness. I am, in all honesty, scared to be alone with my thought and (lack of) feelings. This somehow captured that all and also made me realize that I just need to carry on.

  • Aimee by Aimee
  • 1 year ago

This poem also basically described me exactly where I am right now. And your comment described how my life is. I don't understand how I feel like this. I hate it when people tell me I'm fine or I'll be okay. "Fine" is a mask, and I won't be okay. I relate to what you wrote in so many ways. I have periods of depression. Sometimes, I'm allowed to be happy, but then, other times, all my feelings I hide hit me like a bus. Just yesterday, I got some amazing news from a club I'm in at school. But then, this morning, I missed half of first hour because I was crying in the office for no reason.

  • Muhammad Syahdani by Muhammad Syahdani, South Tangerang, Bintaro, Indonesia
  • 3 years ago

The line that struck me the most was "locked in with no hope to escape" I bet lots of people could agree with this line. I was able to relate and connect to this poem because recently I just lost a family member and it tore my whole family apart. It went from fine to this huge confusion in just one second. I really caught the emotion of your poem. I hope to be seeing you writing more poems and I would be sure to read more of them.

  • Jazmin by Jazmin, Australia
  • 3 years ago

I've suffered from depression for six years and its hard to hear when another family member dies. I've lost 7 already and I can't handle life without my dad here. Suffering from depression hurts everyday more and more, and its getting worse.

  • Desmond Randall Springfield by Desmond Randall Springfield, Louisiana Baton Rouge
  • 4 years ago

I always asked my self why am I so depressed and it's obvious that I am just lonely. I rarely have any interaction with people. No one to talk to. No friends. No girl friend. I'm basically alone all the time. I wish I had someone who cared about me. Someone who would just bother me everyday and needed me. I would love that person forever. I want someone who I can actually relate to and have a conversation with. Someone who isn't afraid to keep it real with me or to tell me when I'm doing something stupid. Someone that I can talk to everyday. Someone to always have my back. Just someone who loves me a lot. That's what's truly wrong with me. I don't have that someone. I'm sure I will find that someone.

  • Chicago by Chicago, Il
  • 5 years ago

Hello I am 14 years old I am suffering from depression and PTSD for 2 years. When I was 12 I was involved in and accident that killed my 7 year old cousin. I've cut myself my mom noticed one day and made me get help but that didn't really help me it just made it worse. Your poem helped me realize that one day I will move on.

  • Chicago by Chicago, Il
  • 5 years ago

Hello I am 14 years old I am suffering from depression and PTSD for 2 years. When I was 12 I was involved in and accident that killed my 7 year old cousin. I've cut myself my mom noticed one day and made me get help but that didn't really help me it just made it worse. Your poem helped me realize that one day I will move on.

  • Hadiyah by Hadiyah, UK
  • 6 years ago

Hi.
I'm 13 and have been suffering from depression for 3 years. I never have sleeked help and when I was 10 I was bullied, then when I was 11 I became extremely ill, when I was 12 many of my loved ones had already died, now I'm 13 I have another illness.... I have many illnesses related to sleep and I am extremely depressed. Everyday I think about suicide. Love the poem <3 ): I can feel your words.... I also make poems to comfort myself.... Where's the escape?

  • Richelle George by Richelle George, Manitoba
  • 6 years ago

I am 12 years old, I can't recall anything of myself being happy or even having a person who cares. Nobody has time for me, they are very busy and they leave me out on things. I feel as if they don't care for me, everyday it's the same pain. I feel guilt, pain and depression. Ever since the death of my older sister,, she was like my second mother, she loved me, like a daughter. Then she came to the thought of hanging herself....I feel so alone now. I can't recall much of her anymore. I don't even remember her voice, her smile and her hugs. I really miss her. I'm willing to die to meet her again but something is pulling me back from bothering to die.
Thank you for doing that wonderful poem, your poem relates to me.

  • Jessica Switzer by Jessica Switzer, Kansas
  • 7 years ago

I am 16 years old and I can hardly remember anything in my life, most of my life is sad. I used to be physically and emotionally hurt by everyone, so I started to cut myself. I have little white scars I keep hidden often under long sleeved shirts. the only way I can keep from scarring myself even more is to cry or to create art which tells how I feel often. No one can tell how I feel through my art they just think I'm emo but I'm not. I spend a lot of time alone, people say words that get my hopes up, and they never stick to them. I get so tired of being hurt and let down, I just want to hurt myself so much. but I don't I look towards the future, to the day that I can leave and create my own little happy story, that's what keeps me going. You poem makes me feel like what I am going through doesn't make me a freak. Thank you, for writing such a great poem.

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