Funny Life Poem

Funny Poem About The Challenges Of Losing Weight

To be honest, my weight loss battles could be more aptly described as half-hearted tussles. Occasionally, I have managed to lose some weight, only to find it has snuck up on me again while I wasn't looking! But I also haven't lost my sense of humour, which is a good thing.

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This was positively delightful! I'm quite sure this sums up just about anyone who has ever tried to exercise, only to be utterly fed up with it in no time. This definitely got me laughing,...

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The Workout

© more by Cynthia C. Naspinski

Published: December 29, 2019

I need to lose weight, just a pound or twenty.
If I could lose fifty, well that would be plenty.
I could join a gym, but I don't have the gumption.
My legging clad legs aren't for public consumption.

My exercise bike is succumbing to rust
And only gets touched when I really must dust.
And much like a pet in need of attention,
It made me feel guilty (and slack not to mention).

The solution, of course, was such a no brainer.
I bought it a mate...an elliptical trainer!
This is quite easy! Or so I reckoned
When I tried it in store for a whole fifteen seconds.

But once it was home and I tried it for longer,
The pain in my side was all that got stronger.
I puffed and I gasped, till I couldn't breathe.
Kicked off at nine, it was now nine oh three.

Of course! The resistance must be way too high
But no, it read zero; I thought I might cry.
The six on the dial sat silently mocking,
My level of fitness was really quite shocking.

Motivation was all I that I saw myself losing,
And my self-esteem was taking a bruising.
I tried it to music but all that achieved 
It drowned out the sound of my poor creaking knees.

This instrument of torture could go take a hike.
I glanced now with longing at my trusty bike.
I couldn't recall why we had parted ways.
Climbed up on the seat and thought, Happy days!

I pedalled with gusto, but soon I remembered
It felt like my buttocks were being dismembered.
The padding on my derrière is quite thick,
So why does it feel like I'm perched on a brick?

It was just all too hard; I gave up in disgust.
My plan to lose weight was clearly a bust.
Oh well...at least I can say that I tried it.
I mean, really, I can't be expected to diet!

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Arianna by Arianna
  • 1 month ago

This was positively delightful! I'm quite sure this sums up just about anyone who has ever tried to exercise, only to be utterly fed up with it in no time. This definitely got me laughing, and I'll know what poem to read the next time I need a little laugh after miserably failing at trying to stick with my workout plan. A wonderfully fun poem indeed!

Hi Arianna. Thanks so much for your kind comments. I've heard it said that some people actually enjoy working out. Imagine that! Self-discipline is not my strong suit, and I am the master of excuses. And I still hate that blasted cross trainer! Best of luck in your fitness endeavours.

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