Funny Love Poems

Funny Love Poems

Funny Love Poems for Him and Her

There is a line from a country song that goes, "sometimes life's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". It describes a man who sees his high school sweetheart at a high school reunion. He realizes how wrong they would have been for each other and how blessed he is to have the partner that he has. Many of us have similar stories. Many times we are lucky enough to end up not with the person that we thought was our soul mate but the person who is really meant for us.

8 Funny Poems about Love

  1. 1. Stuck On You

    I forgot to get my wife, Karen, a St. Valentine's Day card, so I made this one up. It worked! She's still laughing.

    You're sucrose, you're glucose,
    You're fructose and more,
    From your head to your feet...
    Which are stuck to the floor.

    You're Hershey's, you're Snickers,
    You're sweet English Toffee.
    If you spit in my cup,
    You'll just sweeten my coffee.

    I love you so much
    That I'm getting frenetic,
    But I can't even kiss you,
    'cause I'm diabetic.

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  3. 2. My One-Eyed Love

    • By Andrew Jefferson
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems May 2014

    The poem is an amusing reflection on attitudes to disability and love. Actually, it's funnier than that sounds.

    I've fallen in love- I don't know why
    I've fallen in love with a girl with one eye.

    I knew from the start. It was plain to see
    That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me

    She's charming and witty and jolly and jocular
    Not what you'd expect from a girl who's monocular.

    Of eyes - at the moment - she hasn't full quota
    But that doesn't change things for me one iota.

    It must be quite difficult if you're bereft.
    If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.

    But she's made up her mind. She's made her decision.
    She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.

    She'll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
    If she looks slightly sideways she'll see me in church.

    I'll marry my true love who's gentle and kind.
    And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.

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  5. 3. Candy Love

    • By Terra Mobley
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems February 2010

    "There's nothing as sweet as love and sugar, and when you put them both together..." I did this on a big construction paper heart for my fiancé last year. He really liked all the candies and he's actually still got the whole thing, nothing touched (or eaten). See if you can find the candy in this poem, there's one in each line.

    Fly away with me, my dove
    To a forbidden place where the skittles meet the rainbow.
    Lay under the Milky Way with me,
    And lets gaze at the star burst together,
    Just you and me, sweet bliss.
    When the moon begins to eclipse, we'll be in each other's arms.
    I never knew how much of a sweet tart you could be.
    There are zero people like you.
    You're my lifesaver in this unforgiving world.
    I love all your little snickers,
    And I feel safe when you wrap your butterfingers around me.
    I want to share all of your kisses,
    Now and later, always and forever
    You're all the payday I'll ever need.
    I wouldn't trade you for 100 grand
    All because I love my sweet gummy bear.

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  6. 4. A Lost And Found For Love

    What's this thing called love? For some, it's as if their heart had wings! For others, it's like their heart was being crushed! Still others see it as entrapment and ends up being a big pain in the butt! We all have our own recipes for true love. Mine is truth, trust and time.

    There're many women I have met
    And loved throughout my years.
    Some provided joy I'd get,
    But most provided tears.

    There were those in fancy clothes
    Who'd show me their affections.
    Less fancy dressers then arose
    And showed me new directions.

    But all would leave, I'm not sure why,
    For other loves or interests.
    So, with the last tears that I'd dry,
    I vowed to end these contests.

    No longer would I give my heart
    To have it sliced in two!
    Too many dreams were torn apart
    By women that I knew!

    I became an island to myself,
    With interests born anew.
    My hopes of love placed on a shelf
    Where mold and mildew grew.


    The best laid plans of mice and men
    Do often go astray.
    I saw this truth one evening when
    She came in sight one day.

    She looked at me with lonely eyes,
    I'm sure mine looked the same.
    It took some time to realize
    Attraction was to blame.

    The vow I'd made to hide my heart
    Began to fade from view.
    My new love seemed so far apart
    From the other ones I knew.

    Today, my love is with me still,
    So many years we've shared.
    My love and trust have been fulfilled
    And formed a love that's not compared.

    For those out there, please don't despair;
    Don't squander your affections.
    Don't hide your need for love to share;
    Don't dwell on your rejections.

    Love is there, I'm proof of that,
    No matter what your setback.
    There's someone there who's where you're at,
    Who'll show the joy you'll get back.

    At night, when we both lie in bed,
    She shows what my love's meant.
    I stroke the hair upon her head;
    She whispers sweet contentment.

    What makes a moth fly to a light?
    Is it need for what they see?
    Or does it seem, their useless flight,
    Is just curiosity?

    I guess it's both that brought us close,
    Our lives of different walks.
    But now, to please my love the most,
    I'll clean her litter box.

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    Bravo! I think there are many who find the humor and honesty in these lines!

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  7. 5. A Night With My Lady

    • By Jared M. Stein
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems October 2008

    This humorous poem makes the reader think one thing, but the ending reveals something completely different.

    Her body glistens in the light
    I urge to play with her all night
    I pick her up and hold her steady
    Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

    I run one hand up her long neck
    Just touching her makes me euphoric
    Across her body, my right hand goes
    I've been practicing, believe me, it shows.

    Her body glistens in the light
    I urge to play with her all night.
    I pick her up and hold her steady,
    Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

    Another deep breath, the tension mounts.
    Have to stay focused, every moment counts.
    I am ready; let's get movin'.
    Here it goes, we both start groovin'.

    Her body glistens in the light.
    I urge to play with her all night.
    I pick her up and hold her steady,
    Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

    I start out slow to get in the swing.
    As I do, she starts to sing.
    The sounds and feelings grow more immense.
    The movements become more intense.

    Her body glistens in the light.
    I urge to play with her all night.
    I pick her up and hold her steady.
    Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

    She screams and screams, while I am gropin'.
    My heart stops as I see the door open.
    My mom walks in and with a frown
    Says, "Your guitar is too loud, please turn it down."

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    That is adorable! At first I was like, oooooh, hope it doesn't get too graphic. But it was so interesting. I read it to my husband and we laughed and laughed. Good writing. Jac Judy Campbell

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  8. 6. Puberty Love Poem

    I am a 20 year old college student majoring in elementary education. A friend of mine told me to write a poem about change, and this was the first thing that came to mind. I enjoy long walks to the campus cafeteria, playing the ukulele, fresh bread, and bell peppers.

    Last year I thought that you were icky as I ate my glue,
    But this year I can see that I have greatly misjudged you.
    Your retainer gleams with moonlight beams when you smile in my direction.
    I can see through greasy hair that we have a connection.

    My armpit hair is growing just as fast as our romance,
    And now that I'm like 5 foot 5 I think I have a chance.
    There's something about my love for you that others just don't get.
    The things I like about you are as many as my zits.

    I've not seen you for a while now and I hope you're doing well,
    Because I think my armpits have a very lonely smell.
    If I were left without you I would have a heart attack,
    So let me serenade you with this song from Nickleback.

    You want to play Diablo with me? I hope you won't mind.
    I think you would be purple, you're a legendary find.
    I want to see your visage more than any other faces,
    'Cause like my Warcraft druid, you have charmed me with your graces.

    You're beautiful, you're wonderful, you make my heart go boom,
    Just like the can of Axe I unleashed upon this room.
    I know that you will love me, and I know it will be neat,
    Because my shampoo label says, "Rinse, attract, repeat."

    Though I may be awkward, this poem may be weird,
    And my good side may be tough to see through my patchy beard,
    My mind is going crazy, but one thing is true:
    My random hormones have paired me with you.

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    Five years ago, I met a guy whose name was Matthew. He was charming, witty, humorous, and genuine. I experienced love at first sight. I started seeing him regularly, and I liked him a lot...

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  9. 7. Loving An Xbox Vs Me

    • By Sarah Allen
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems August 2011

    My Ex and I had an ongoing joke that he loved his Xbox more than me, and this is just a little poem about that.

    I don't have a controller,
    And I don't have a screen,
    I don't need to be plugged in,
    I'm not grey and green.

    I can't make sound effects,
    Or visuals that are fantastic,
    You can't put me on a shelf,
    Because I'm not made of plastic.

    However, I do have curves,
    Will keep you entertained all the same,
    You can't insert a disc,
    But we can make our own little game.

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    I was reading this in class and I let out a little giggle and everyone looked at me! I was confused at first till I got to the end, and I smiled for the rest of class! Hope to see more. :)

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  10. 8. Men

    I wrote this after a misunderstanding with my partner, I'm sure there are many women who think the same.

    They do it without realizing,
    They don't really have a clue,
    Reading between the lines,
    Is something they just can't do.

    When there is an argument,
    They think they're always right,
    No matter what we say or do,
    They didn't start the fight.

    They blame it on our hormones,
    And never take the rap,
    If they call us moody bitches,
    Then they get a slap.

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    Well the poem is funny though to some extent

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