Funny Love Poems
Funny Love Poems for Him and Her
There is a line from a country song that goes, "sometimes life's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". It describes a man who sees his high school sweetheart at a high school reunion. He realizes how wrong they would have been for each other and how blessed he is to have the partner that he has. Many of us have similar stories. Many times we are lucky enough to end up not with the person that we thought was our soul mate but the person who is really meant for us.
8 Funny Poems about Love
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1. Stuck On You
You're sucrose, you're glucose,
You're fructose and more,
From your head to your feet...
Which are stuck to the floor.
You're Hershey's, you're Snickers,
You're sweet English Toffee.
If you spit in my cup,
You'll just sweeten my coffee.
I love you so much
That I'm getting frenetic,
But I can't even kiss you,
'cause I'm diabetic.Featured Shared StoryI love poems. I wish to be one of the best poem writer like you, sir.
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2. My One-Eyed Love
I've fallen in love- I don't know why
I've fallen in love with a girl with one eye.
I knew from the start. It was plain to see
That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me
She's charming and witty and jolly and jocular
Not what you'd expect from a girl who's monocular.
Of eyes - at the moment - she hasn't full quota
But that doesn't change things for me one iota.
It must be quite difficult if you're bereft.
If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.
But she's made up her mind. She's made her decision.
She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.
She'll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
If she looks slightly sideways she'll see me in church.
I'll marry my true love who's gentle and kind.
And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.Featured Shared StoryI'm glad you're feeling more comfortable and have more hope. We all deserve to be treated equally in a nice manner. If you still are feeling uncomfortable, just don't let it get to you. If a...
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3. Candy Love
Fly away with me, my dove
To a forbidden place where the skittles meet the rainbow.
Lay under the Milky Way with me,
And lets gaze at the star burst together,
Just you and me, sweet bliss.
When the moon begins to eclipse, we'll be in each other's arms.
I never knew how much of a sweet tart you could be.
There are zero people like you.
You're my lifesaver in this unforgiving world.
I love all your little snickers,
And I feel safe when you wrap your butterfingers around me.
I want to share all of your kisses,
Now and later, always and forever
You're all the payday I'll ever need.
I wouldn't trade you for 100 grand
All because I love my sweet gummy bear. -
4. A Lost And Found For Love
There're many women I have met
And loved throughout my years.
Some provided joy I'd get,
But most provided tears.
There were those in fancy clothes
Who'd show me their affections.
Less fancy dressers then arose
And showed me new directions.
But all would leave, I'm not sure why,
For other loves or interests.
So, with the last tears that I'd dry,
I vowed to end these contests.
No longer would I give my heart
To have it sliced in two!
Too many dreams were torn apart
By women that I knew!
I became an island to myself,
With interests born anew.
My hopes of love placed on a shelf
Where mold and mildew grew.
However,
The best laid plans of mice and men
Do often go astray.
I saw this truth one evening when
She came in sight one day.
She looked at me with lonely eyes,
I'm sure mine looked the same.
It took some time to realize
Attraction was to blame.
The vow I'd made to hide my heart
Began to fade from view.
My new love seemed so far apart
From the other ones I knew.
Today, my love is with me still,
So many years we've shared.
My love and trust have been fulfilled
And formed a love that's not compared.
For those out there, please don't despair;
Don't squander your affections.
Don't hide your need for love to share;
Don't dwell on your rejections.
Love is there, I'm proof of that,
No matter what your setback.
There's someone there who's where you're at,
Who'll show the joy you'll get back.
At night, when we both lie in bed,
She shows what my love's meant.
I stroke the hair upon her head;
She whispers sweet contentment.
What makes a moth fly to a light?
Is it need for what they see?
Or does it seem, their useless flight,
Is just curiosity?
I guess it's both that brought us close,
Our lives of different walks.
But now, to please my love the most,
I'll clean her litter box.Featured Shared StoryBravo! I think there are many who find the humor and honesty in these lines!
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5. A Night With My Lady
Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.
I run one hand up her long neck
Just touching her makes me euphoric
Across her body, my right hand goes
I've been practicing, believe me, it shows.
Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night.
I pick her up and hold her steady,
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.
Another deep breath, the tension mounts.
Have to stay focused, every moment counts.
I am ready; let's get movin'.
Here it goes, we both start groovin'.
Her body glistens in the light.
I urge to play with her all night.
I pick her up and hold her steady,
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.
I start out slow to get in the swing.
As I do, she starts to sing.
The sounds and feelings grow more immense.
The movements become more intense.
Her body glistens in the light.
I urge to play with her all night.
I pick her up and hold her steady.
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.
She screams and screams, while I am gropin'.
My heart stops as I see the door open.
My mom walks in and with a frown
Says, "Your guitar is too loud, please turn it down."Featured Shared StoryThat is adorable! At first I was like, oooooh, hope it doesn't get too graphic. But it was so interesting. I read it to my husband and we laughed and laughed. Good writing. Jac Judy Campbell
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6. Puberty Love Poem
Last year I thought that you were icky as I ate my glue,
But this year I can see that I have greatly misjudged you.
Your retainer gleams with moonlight beams when you smile in my direction.
I can see through greasy hair that we have a connection.
My armpit hair is growing just as fast as our romance,
And now that I'm like 5 foot 5 I think I have a chance.
There's something about my love for you that others just don't get.
The things I like about you are as many as my zits.
I've not seen you for a while now and I hope you're doing well,
Because I think my armpits have a very lonely smell.
If I were left without you I would have a heart attack,
So let me serenade you with this song from Nickleback.
You want to play Diablo with me? I hope you won't mind.
I think you would be purple, you're a legendary find.
I want to see your visage more than any other faces,
'Cause like my Warcraft druid, you have charmed me with your graces.
You're beautiful, you're wonderful, you make my heart go boom,
Just like the can of Axe I unleashed upon this room.
I know that you will love me, and I know it will be neat,
Because my shampoo label says, "Rinse, attract, repeat."
Though I may be awkward, this poem may be weird,
And my good side may be tough to see through my patchy beard,
My mind is going crazy, but one thing is true:
My random hormones have paired me with you.Featured Shared StoryFive years ago, I met a guy whose name was Matthew. He was charming, witty, humorous, and genuine. I experienced love at first sight. I started seeing him regularly, and I liked him a lot...
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7. Loving An Xbox Vs Me
I don't have a controller,
And I don't have a screen,
I don't need to be plugged in,
I'm not grey and green.
I can't make sound effects,
Or visuals that are fantastic,
You can't put me on a shelf,
Because I'm not made of plastic.
However, I do have curves,
Will keep you entertained all the same,
You can't insert a disc,
But we can make our own little game.Featured Shared StoryI was reading this in class and I let out a little giggle and everyone looked at me! I was confused at first till I got to the end, and I smiled for the rest of class! Hope to see more. :)
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8. Men
They do it without realizing,
They don't really have a clue,
Reading between the lines,
Is something they just can't do.
When there is an argument,
They think they're always right,
No matter what we say or do,
They didn't start the fight.
They blame it on our hormones,
And never take the rap,
If they call us moody bitches,
Then they get a slap.
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