Ah! To Bear The Salty Air!

I planned to leave, one fateful day,
Upon a burly craft.
I told my friends, "I'll sail the seas!"
But all of them just laughed!

I'll show them what a sailor is,
I had a sturdy boat!
So, I packed a bag with lots of socks,
My cap and warmest coat.

Fresh underwear and extra jeans,
Some shirts and turtleneck.
I had, for sure, a first-aid kit
If injured on my trek.

A toothbrush, soap and bushy towel,
Some dental floss and comb.
A sextant and a navy map
So I could get back home!

A lantern, so to see at night,
And oars to paddle 'round,
Because my sails would fail to bloom
When winds had settled down.

A box load of my favorite books
To read when nights are long.
A guitar I'd always kept in tune
That I might sing a song.

At bow and stern a cannon sat
To fight the pirates off,
And just in case, I made some space
For cough-drops for my cough.

An anchor and a fishing rod,
Harpoons and safety pins.
Bubble gum and rifles, too,
In case a war begins.

I read about the dangers there,
Sharks could be unpleasant!
With that in mind, I brought along
A vat of shark repellant!

Ropes and cans of chicken soup,
Some candies and some mints.
Some rubber boots and tweezers, too,
To pick out navel lints.

Toilet paper soft and white,
All double rolls aplenty.
Leather gloves and cannon balls,
Of those, I counted twenty.

A garbage can and trusty mop
To keep the deck all spotless.
I purchased twenty pounds of salt,
But perhaps I should have bought less.

My laptop and my TV set,
A heavy length of chain.
A manual on how to swim,
And a tarp if it should rain.

Lots of fruit and pork and beans,
My blankets and my bunk.
But, just as I stepped 'board the boat...
...The ding dang dinghy sunk!

So, lesson learned, I say to you,
If you decide to roam,
Take, indeed, just what you need
...And leave the rest at home!