Depression Poem

Looking For "Joy"; The Feeling.

True Happiness is my definition of "Joy," which I can recognize, as I have experienced much previously. She slipped away in my early to mid-20s. I am now 55. I wrote this poem 17 years ago. It is mostly a rhyming, rhythmic poem, but I found that to be somewhat boring, so to create a little confusion and struggle in the reading, I disrupted the rhythmic feature of my poem in a couple places and found this to be symbolic of the confusion and struggle of my life without true happiness.

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Finding Joy

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Published: March 10, 2021

Have you seen Joy? I have not seen her in so, so long,
I miss her, oh how I miss her and her heartwarming song.

I keep searching and searching and asking why
she went away without saying goodbye.

Many years have gone by. but I envision her clearly.
I love her! "Joy, I love you so dearly."

I have searched all over, I searched my soul.
If you don't return, you'll never know,

How I loved the time we spent with one another.
I showed you off to my mother, my brother.

You were there when I married my wife,
I thought you would be with me for the rest of my life.

Joy, can you imagine a clear dark night without any stars?
This time without you leaves unwanted scars.

I'm hurting inside and losing control.
I'm trying to hide it but it's taking a toll.

I'm saddened to the point of anger
that you betrayed me. Do you feel my pain? Do you feel any shame?

I wish you could feel the loss I've been delt!
That's when I realized that you have no feelings, but rather are a feeling to be felt!

Because I am losing hope that we will be reunited,
I have to make a choice but remain undecided.

Whether to succumb to this awful feeling of sadness,
or continue on faith, it seems like madness.

In the end I am not afraid, I'll continue, I must!
Because I also love others, I've gained their trust.

And though you left for whatever reason,
the others I love with help bring you back this next season.

To have taken you for granted was my biggest mistake.
Please forgive me, forgive me please for heaven's sake.

When you return to my arms, whenever this may be,
I'll never let you go or get away from me.

As for those who took your place when you are gone,
they are not invited; they use me like a pawn.

Making me feel so worthless on this Earth,
I long for your return, to signify my rebirth.

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