Cancer Poem

This is not a poem but something that I wrote when I was having a bad day so it may not make an awful lot of sense. It's dedicated to my dad who died 5 days after my 12th birthday, Christmas day 2004, having fought against cancer for 2 years. Missing him loads. Rest In Peace and happy birthday.

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Santa.. Please Give My Dad Back


Published: December 2008

                My LAST letter to Santa
                                                Santa Claus,
                                             The North Pole

Dear Santa,
This will be my last letter to you as the last time I wrote one, you messed my Christmas up big time.
You were meant to bring presents, not take away the presence of those close to me.
I don't know what made you take him in the first place, but I would really appreciate it if this Christmas instead of a stocking, you would leave by the fireplace, wrapped up nice and warm, back to the normal person I knew, warming his hands on the fire, my dad. I don't think that I am an unreasonable person and so will be willing to forgive you if you do this one thing for me.
Obviously god is going to be a little reluctant to give him up, but as it was you that delivered him in the first place I think that it is up to you to do the bargaining to get him back!
You see it is not that I want to see him again but more that I feel I have to. I have to give him another hug. I have to see his smile and chat about normal things like everyone else is able to.
I understand that he suffered for two years of cancer, but surely there was another cure. Surely you could have mended him, not taken him.
I have managed [using the word managed loosely] almost four years without him, so I think it is about time that I have him back. As I have given you plenty of notice I do not feel that this request is unreasonable.
Santa, that year I asked for a phone. You were very generous and gave it to me. But you added salt to an open wound as far as I was concerned. You see, I had to enter my contacts. I don't think that you understood how painful it was to look through the numbers and see the one that the day before had belonged to my dad and skip past it to the next contact. I literally had to leave out the method of communication between my dad and me. You left me having to try to find another way to talk to him.
I am not asking for something that is expensive or something that will take up all the space in your sleigh and so by being selfish by not allowing others to have presents, but I am asking for something that is very rare and something that can never be lost nor forgotten. You see, my dad is the only dad I will ever have, whereas that train that another child is asking for is probably the ninth they have had in their lifetime. I think that my dad is of far higher value than any train or toy that I could have asked for which is why I didn't.
Santa, this is the last chance I am going to give you to make things right again.  After this I will think of you as a distant memory that, as far as I am concerned, is a liar and a thief.



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