Abuse Poem

I am now 18 and trying to get my head around what was done to me. I suffered abuse at the hands of my cousin who scared me into silence even to this day.

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I was also abused and raped from 10-14. I got out to another home and was raped again. I tried to tell, but no one believed me, so I just kept quiet. I'm now 52. It still haunts me. my niece...

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Surviving You

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Published: October 2009

Tell me what I did to make you treat me so cheaply,
What did I do to make you so angry and make you beat me,
You could see I was broken up inside and you just threw me around, 
You left me lying dazed on the ground,
I did not dare to meet your eyes but prayed you would see what you had done,
You picked me up and told me we'd have some fun,
A lump lodged uneasily in my throat my eyes glistening with tears,
My tiny body exhausted yet knowing the worst was near,
I wanted to scream and fight you and run for the door,
You broke me you wore me down but still wanted more,
Same routine making me incapable of movement that part done hastily,
Bit by bit ripping my dignity,
You left me on the bed shaking and broken,
I'd prayed someone would come please let someone have woken,
I would lay and go to a place where when I gave a cry for help someone would come,
And where people don't hurt people who love them for fun,
I'd talk to my friends who'd come and rescue me from the pain,
Who'd put their arm around me and take me to places where I have smiles that I do not feign,
In my dreams they would hold me when I cried,
They would be there to take me to a place where the angels sang lullabies ,
They'd take me to a place little girls didn't feel fear,
Where I would never have to cry or even shed a tear,
I was sad because I could never stay,
They promised I'd be with them there one day,
My friends have always been apart of me and always will,
They gave me hope that I can climb this painful everlasting hill,
My friends were my imagination I know that now,
And how they helped me survive I don't know how,
You killed my spirit you damaged my soul,
My foundations my very childhood you trampled on and stole,
I wanted to mean something and but I know I'm not worth much,
I wanted a loving role model not your painful touch,
Everything that happened and seeing your face all the time
I can pretend I can get over and that I don't care,
But surviving all this is just the beginning of a long and endless nightmare...

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Valor Cary by Valor Cary
  • 5 years ago

I went through physical, sexual and emotional abuse from approximately age 2 till my Mom threw me out of their house at age 22. I have been dealing with PTSD for 30 years. I'm on a lot of meds just to remain functional. If it weren't for a few friends, my psychiatrist, and my therapist, I wouldn't have lived this long. Thanks for sharing. I know I'm not alone. I'm glad I was able to have the courage to get help.

  • Sara by Sara
  • 6 years ago

I get what you went through. I got raped from these guys, my mom let them for money I could never get over it till this day. I am 15 now I just turned 15, and it haunts me every single second I tried to get help but I just couldn't tell anyone. I would start shaking and I can't stop crying. W,ell I just want to tell you to take your time to get help becuase if you rush it like I did you won't forget it for one second. So you might not have the past but we both have the future.--

  • Valerie Barnard by Valerie Barnard, Michigan
  • 6 years ago

I've been hurt by my cousin and brother before I was so scared like whatever I did was bad but the thing was I didn't do anything wrong. I was just like most girls playing barbie dolls and video games. And one day my cousin came over to go camping in our backyard by our lake and I didn't think there was going to be anything bad that would happen but unfortunately something did. My two cousins, my brother and me were in the living room there was no grown ups in the house cause they were all outside playing horseshoes. And out of no where my cousin choked me and told my brother not to tell a grown up or anything and I've also been choked by my brother. So, trust me I know how you feel, cause it's like no ones there that will believe you so you don't tell anyone but when you do it's done to late. I've been there.

  • Erica by Erica
  • 9 years ago

There are many of people like you out there Hun and they do the same thing as I did.. They keep it to themselves because they are to scared to let someone know and once they do it was or is to late... so whoever reads this and it's still happening to you TELL SOMEONE don't leave it in your memory because it will come back to haunt you so face it now... not later

  • Bobbi Hubbard by Bobbi Hubbard
  • 11 months ago

I was also abused and raped from 10-14. I got out to another home and was raped again. I tried to tell, but no one believed me, so I just kept quiet. I'm now 52. It still haunts me. my niece at 26 passed away from also being abused. Heroin is how she dealt with it. She just came clean before this happened. I should have spoken up and done something because it was her grandpa (my stepfather).

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