Funny Life Poem

A Humorous List Poem

A poem about the shameful state of my junk drawer before a long overdue clean out.

*Marie Kondo - decluttering and organizational guru

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The Junk Drawer

© more by Cynthia C. Naspinski

Published by Family Friend Poems February 3, 2023 with permission of the Author.

That Marie Kondo would have a conniption
If she were to open the drawer in my kitchen.
A search of this drawer isn't for the faint-hearted.
You'll want to give up though your quest's barely started.

There's a watch with only one working hand,
A hundred and seventy-three rubber bands,
Various screws and bolts and the like,
A bike puncture kit (though we haven't a bike),
An assortment of batteries most likely dead -
Put back in the drawer just to mess with your head,
A used birthday candle half melted and icky,
A sticky lint roller that's ceased being sticky,
An old dog collar that's long been outgrown,
A cat toy that gets no reaction when thrown,
The kettle manual that I've kept 'cause I oughta -
In case we forget how to boil the water,
A disposable lighter that no longer lights,
A superglue tube with the cap glued on tight,
A cracked ping pong ball, a stretched hair elastic -
Throwing them out must have seemed a bit drastic,
A chopstick, a Chapstick, some moist(?) towelettes,
Mismatched shoelaces, a mix-tape cassette,
Old chargers and earbuds - hopelessly tangled,
Sunglasses that were scratched but are now also mangled,
Blank bits of paper that once were receipts,
Mysterious keys and spare golf shoe cleats,
Takeaway menus with five year old prices,
Remote controls for long gone devices,
Hex keys galore courtesy of IKEA,
Adaptors and cords (what they're idea),
Lens cleaning cloths that look none too clean,
And old copper coins that have turned somewhat green.

Each time the drawer's opened, I'm filled with disgust
At the mess and the chaos. Oh why don't I just
Clear out all this junk, toss it all in the bin?
Then I wrestle it closed...poking cables back in.


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