Loss of a Friend Poem

For A Murdered Friend

This is a poem dedicated to a very intimate friend of mine who was murdered Sunday April, 13, 2008. Black on black crime is a real issue and affects my community every day! This is the first time I lost someone so close to my heart and some days I don't know how to deal.
What is funny is that I went 3 months without seeing him after we broke up, only phone calls here and there. And the day before he died I run into him at the grocery store and later he called and we talked like old times.
The night I got the call I was lying in my dorm thinking about him and I said to myself I'm gonna call Tony tomorrow... But tomorrow never came for him and sometimes I feel like it never came for me either.

Nov 14, 1988 - Apr 13, 2008

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My boyfriend was murdered December 19th, 2015. He wasn't my first love, but he was great. He moved here to Missouri from Wisconsin a year before he was murdered. So many people loved him....

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A Poem For You


Published: March 2010

Everyday I wake up
Realizing that you are gone
Reality keeps forcing me
To accept that you are done

Finished with all the chaos
This earthly world can bring
Through with all the pain and problems
And all those simple things

Am I so selfish to wish that you
Were here alive on earth?
Am I wrong to wish you back
Just so I won't hurt?

All the things I never said
Strong feelings I never shared
I took your love for granted and put you off
Because I just knew you would always be there

I pushed you away because I needed space
To be young, live the college life, and grow
But I was gonna get back right with you
I swear
But now you'll never know

You left behind family and friends
Lovers and colleagues the same
I still can't believe those boys that day
That bullet
It must've had your name

But now you're gone
They took your life
I'm sure for no worthy cause
Am I wrong for hoping
They can't sleep at night
For motivating this unjust loss?

But it is me who lies awake
At night thinking about you
What ifs and why nots run through my mind
Sometimes I hate that I fell in love with you

No matter how hard I cry or pray
I know you're not coming back to me
I'll never forget the around-the-face kisses
Your love for me ran deep

I thank God everyday for granting me
Your presence on Saturday before you died
I hadn't seen you in months
And there you were, that day, to my surprise

I can only wait until the day
That we'll meet again
I know that you will still be you
Funny, crazy, a friend

You were never perfect
You weren't an angel by far
But damn boy you were you
And even before you died
I knew I would never be able
To replace you

Your smile, your eyes
Your laughter, your words
Are embedded in my mind
And forever you'll live in my heart and dreams
Until the end of my life



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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Stef by Stef
  • 1 year ago

My brother died to murder on December 20, 2018 at 9:57 pm. He meant the actual world to me, and I would actually do anything for him. If I could, I would trade anyone's life, even mine, to save his. There doesn't go one day without thinking I lost my oldest brother to an ignorant person shooting him. I have countless tears for this person, my heart, everything. I was going to commit suicide when I heard about this. I was devastated because my worst nightmare happened. He was the only reason why I was still alive. I have straight A's for him. I work hard for him.

  • K021105 by K021105
  • 1 year ago

I relate to your poem. I'm sorry for your loss. My big brother was murdered 10/31/2017. It still feels surreal. I still see his face, his smile, hear his voice, his laughter. A piece of my heart is missing. Not only did they murder my brother, but they took my mom along with them. They took a unborn child's father. The only hope and strength to move forward is his baby girl that he never even got to meet. I have to be strong for her, so I can share stories about him and she can know him through my family and me. There is no justification for murder. Even when the suspect is caught, it doesn't mean anything. Nothing will bring him back. No matter who we are or identify as, we need to value everyone's life and not take it for greed, power, or need. I hope you find closure because I know I never will.

  • Christel by Christel
  • 3 years ago

I relate to this poem. My husband was murdered March 3, 2017. I am having a hard time pulling myself together. The senseless act of 2 young people that beat my husband then shot him. I lay awake at night wishing he was here, dreaming about the day they took his life. Wishing I could hold him and look into his beautiful blue eyes again.

  • Brianna by Brianna
  • 4 years ago

My boyfriend was murdered December 19th, 2015. He wasn't my first love, but he was great. He moved here to Missouri from Wisconsin a year before he was murdered. So many people loved him. This poem helped me through his death. But even after 6 moths of him being gone, I still cry when I read this.

  • 4 years ago

This really touched me because I went through a similar experience on January 9,2015. My first love /bestfriend/ everything was murdered by someone who was supposed to be his friend. At the time I was only 15 and that was my first close loss that day. We had seen each other a lot. I got off the phone with him 3 mins before he died. His last words to me were I love you imma, talk to you later, but later never came for him. When he left, a part of me went with him and I will never forget him R.I.P Baby

  • Palina by Palina
  • 10 years ago

I feel like I can relate closely to this poem. Especially about you needing to go live your life but knowing that you would get back together one day, now they'll never know, and the line when you say, "sometimes I hate that I fell in love with you".
My boyfriend died in April of an overdose. It was a sudden and shocking loss. I still wake up everyday in disbelief and live with unbelievable pain of things I wish I had said or done. The last couple weeks of his life we weren't together as much because I though "I needed space". but I saw him the night before he died.
I was the love of his life, he was my first love. I miss him so much and pray to god he knows how much he meant to me.

  • Jacqua by Jacqua, St. Louis
  • 10 years ago

This poem really touched close to home. My best friend was murdered April 29, 2008 and no matter how much time passes it feels like the wounds are never going to heal. He was shot in the head during a drive by shooting. I just wanted to say that I love your poem and it brought tears to my eyes.

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