Mental Illness Poem

Poem About Fighting Bipolar Disorder For Children's Sake

I am a single mother of 3 boys, and this poem was written in 2006 when I was in my most depressed state and before I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Writing was the only thing that kept me alive for my children. I fought a constant battle with myself for them. I attempted suicide a few times but luckily never did enough damage to end my life. I am now 36 and am no longer suicidal. I still suffer from depression, but I am now receiving the help I needed.

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I am so glad I came across your poem. I'm a 44-year-old divorced mom who doesn't have my boys (18 years & 16 years - they live with their dad), and they don't have much to do with me. I'm...

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Published by Family Friend Poems July 2014 with permission of the Author.

Life is hard to live sometimes when the light inside no longer shines.
Everything around becomes so dark, I grab a knife to leave a mark!
It makes me feel alive again! Replacing fear and doubts with pain!
I hope to fill the emptiness, I fight to end my loneliness.
I start to drink my pain away, drowning sorrow day to day.
I quickly want to end my life! I sit alone holding the knife.
Failure now consumes my heart, hate and love tear me apart!
The fear and pain control my mind, the hate inside me leaves me blind.
The bit of love I feel, I fear, it's for my boys, it's why I'm here.
It's for their love that I remain, although I fear I am insane!

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by Twcooke
6 years ago

I am so glad I came across your poem. I'm a 44-year-old divorced mom who doesn't have my boys (18 years & 16 years - they live with their dad), and they don't have much to do with me. I'm lucky if I see or hear from them 2 times a year. They are only a few minutes away but have been brainwashed. My oldest was my life; we could finish each other's sentences and thoughts but not anymore. I've cried and struggled for the past 2-3 years over them but have been battling depression, PTSD, anxiety, BPD, etc. since I was a teen. Tried suicide a couple of times in the past year but I'm still here. I pray one day I'll get better, but I am losing faith. I've been in and out of therapy, 15 different meds, etc., but nothing has worked so far. Your poem has given me hope!

by Mike Winkelsas, Manchester Nh
8 years ago

I can completely relate to this I am a single dad of 3 with bipolar. My 2 boys are on the autism spectrum. I am currently where you were in '06. I'm not living my life for me if it weren't for my kids I probably wouldn't be here writing this. So relatable thank you for your story and your poem this hits home.