I Remember

• by Jessica
• 2 years ago

Hi, I'm Jessica. I'm 17. I was raped at 15 by my boyfriend whom I loved and trusted. Then after that, he told his friends, and at school I was getting slut shamed. He told everyone I wanted it and I was asked for it. I have been in pain, and I still am. I'm a junior in high school. He still scares me, but it doesn't matter because that is the past, but it should matter because I have PTSD from him, and I will never forgive him.

• by Keaira
• 10 years ago

Hi. I'm really sorry for what happened to you. I can relate in a way. I trusted this guy that I was involved with for a while, he never really showed serious signs of being aggressive or anything. I had no reason to be scared. I went over his house & he took advantage of me. He forced me to do things I didn't want to do. I couldn't leave, he shut his door & I was just stuck in the situation. I ended up giving in even though I said no a million times. But the truth is, me & you didn't give up. & our abusers didn't win. We are the real winners here, not them. Stay strong love.

• by Alyssa, Oregon
• 12 years ago

This brought tears to my eyes, because it oh so well described what happened between me and a ex of mine. I was 14, and we were under the bridge that crossed over to his apartments. He had his hands all over me and I kept on telling him no, but he told me the only way he'll ever love me, the only way he would even KISS me was if I had sex with him. He laid me down on the grass and I kept on saying no, people were walking across the bridge and I know, god I know, If I had said no just a little louder, with a little more force, I wouldn't be here today, almost 3 years later, sitting here and talking about my story. For awhile I didn't think it was rape, when it happened it just happened. But now that I realize that I had said no, and said no plenty of times, it should've meant no to him too.

• by Cali, Fl
• 12 years ago

I was 16 when I was raped, by my sisters ex boyfriend. he was 18 or so and I saw him at my friend Olivia's house for the highschool party she invited him because Morgan (his little sister) was her friend so when 1/2 of the people left and Olivia crashed on the couch, he told me he had to tell me something. we went back into Olivia's room and he threw me on the bed, I was confused with the roughness I initially thought he was being playful, but then he pulled out a buck knife (one used for hunting) and told me to be quiet or he would kill me. he tore off my skirt and shirt , then tied my hands together and taped my mouth. I cried while he got naked. I kept trying to scream and when he started I just gave in to him. I kept my eyes shut the whole time I opened them when I heard Olivia's parents open the door. then I desperately tried to be heard, they found me and Jacob thank the lord but it was to late I have a 3 year old daughter and I am defiantly overprotective I don't want the same for her. Jacob is in jail, but I still can't sleep at night without thinking of him.

• by Christina, New Orleans
• 12 years ago

When I was 12, my 28 year old cousin took my virginity. He told me if I wasn't quiet that it would be me in trouble...he was also the youth pastor at my church, so I never thought he would do anything to hurt me. Everyone loved him so much and even I looked up to him. I trusted everything that he said (everyone does it, no one talks about it, its completely normal, if it feels good at all you are just as guilty). My entire existence since I have done everything in my power to overcome that horrible year, that 12 months of being raped, manipulated and taken advantage of every single night. 9 years later I still see him when I close my eyes to go to sleep, I still smell the sweat and hear his whispers... hopefully one day I can find peace.

• by Tierra Johnson, New York
• 12 years ago

My names Tierra I was 14 when it happened. It was a Friday and I was staying at my friends house, we we're having a good time watching movies talking about boys and everything. Suddenly tashs brother came home. He was a couple years older than me like 18, I have never found his behavior to be a threat to me until later that night. Everyone was asleep including my bestfriend tasha..the bedroom door opened slowly and there stood her brother. He made his way to my side of the bed. He sat down and started to pull up my shirt I was to scared to say no and I had no idea what was going to happened. After a few seconds of feeling my breast he moved his hands down and began to ...... I was to nervous to scream so I kept saying stop but I just kept feeling his hands....by now I was a wreck he whispered "I can feel your body shaking" in my head I kept praying to god please let this be over with. when he left I cried myself to sleep...at school after I finally told my friend the truth she didn't believe me and everyone called me a slut. Whenever I see him a heavy feeling of fear takes over me.

• by Brittany, Ohio
• 12 years ago

Hey ladies I know how you feel. Let me let you guys in on something real quick. I was twelve years old when my mother let someone rape me. I heard her talking on the cell phone, she is a pill head so of course she is going to run for her drugs. Well she told them that there was a beautiful girl here and that she is 17. Well three men came over. My mom told me to take a shower because we were going to a special restaurant. Well little did I know I was getting raped. The men called my mother back and they asked if I was ready and she said yeah. She told me they was going to take me to my fathers. Well I ended up in a field. This one big black man grabbed me out of the truck and bent me over his truck and his other buddies watched and when he got done they took turns. It started at 12:30 it didn't end till 6:00 that night. I was never so scared. Well they left me tied me up and left me on the road with me laying in a puddle of my own blood. A couple months later I was in a foster home and my sides started hurting really bad and I told my foster mother that I haven't started my period and my boobs was sore. Little did I know I was with child. So here I am 18 years old know and I have a 6 year old little boy because I kept him it wasn't his fault. Mommy loves you Kaiyden Micheal. I hope this story helps you don't ever be afraid to tell someone.

• by Kirsty-Leigh
• 12 years ago

This poem is amazing!! because every day I am sad..I'm angry at myself because I remember what happend..I remember what he did to me and my sister... I was 7 and my sister was 8, we went to my step dads parents house, and that first day we met him we stayed the night because we thought they were a nice family...but that night, he molested us..he molested us for two years..we didn't say anything because he used to threaten us that he would hurt us and hurt our family...until the third year he finally raped me...I remember how scared I was, how much I went through...it's such a shame that I didn't speak up. I could have said something but I was too scared..one night we were talking to my brother (he has asperges) me and my sister told him...and he didn't believe us, we told him not to say anything but he went to mum and dad and said that we were telling lies..the bastard was suppose to go to jail for 57 years..but he only got 6 because the court didn't believe me..now the guy is released and now everynight I sleep with a knife...I am sooo sorry for all you girls that had to go through this pain..NO ONE DESERVED THIS!!

• by Breana, Idaho
• 12 years ago

It happened 3 years ago on Thanksgiving day. I was only 11 years old when it happened. We were visiting my moms best friend and her family. She had a son 3 years older then me. Everyone was asleep but me, my sister, his sister and him. We were playing a family game and I was forced to be the mom. After playing family he said he wanted us to get out unless I had sex with him. I didn't want to but his sister peer pressured me into it! He took of my pj's then started doing it. I tried to hold back tears. I tried to ignore it and let time pass. It was hard and I wanted to scream and cry. I could hear my sister and his sister giggling in the background. My stomach turned! After about 20 minutes of it it was finally over and when he was done he sat on the bed staring at my sister and his sister. Then he kicked us out. I started worrying about all the things that could happen as I slept in the room right next to his.

Now I am 13 and it's almost Thanksgiving. Almost the 3 year anniversary of it.

• by Christina
• 12 years ago

I too, was raped at the age of 13. It was so.....sad because he was 15 and luckily the janitor promised not to say anything......

It was that day he asked me to come with him to the backstage after school. then he suddenly threw me onto the sofa (it was almost teacher's day and it was actually 4 a performance). then he pulled up my skirt, and I was like, about to scream when he taped my mouth. then he took out a penknife. it was dark as he did not light up the lights....I was sobbing and bleeding and he was actually smiling creepily and sometimes laughing. that was when the janitor came in.

Today I am 15 and he is seventeen I still see him in school and he still gives me the creepy smile. gosh I am still too scared to tell anyone.

• by Rachael
• 12 years ago

It happened when I was 4 until I was 8 and to this day I'm haunted by the men who thought it was okay to take my childhood away. They were my dads friends and they were living with us because they were to lazy to get jobs, they were constantly drunk or stoned. They would rape me when my mum would leave for work. when everyone went to bed they would come and take me outside to the grass, I will always remember the way the stars looked with my eyes full of tears. They would cover my mouth when I screamed and cried they told me that if I told anyone they would kill my mum in front of me. I was raped again when I was 11 and 12. I wanted to die everyday. Now I have an amazing boyfriend who I love with all my heart, he's the only person I trust with my life, he's my reason for living. If I never met him I don't think I would even be around today. He saved my life without even knowing it the first day he spoke to me. I hope all you girls & boys find something worth living for because its out there trust me.

• by Shannon
• 12 years ago

I was 13 turning 14 and he was 17 turning 18 believe it or not he was my BFF and I let my guard down we were at a teen center and the music was too loud so we went outside cause he said he couldn't hear me and he wanted to talk so went behind the teen center and it was quiet no one was around and that's when it happened. He disappeared and never showed up at the teen center again. I never saw him around and I was too scared to tell anyone cause he threatened to kill me...

• by Taylor
• 12 years ago

This poem along with many others have touched my heart. Growing up in an unsafe environment was hard. It was when I was 4 that it all started until I was 12. It was with many people but mainly my dad and two brothers. My dad and brothers would tag team. They would rape me every night at least 2-3 times. My brothers friends would too. My dad tried to sell me to his friend for $50 and said I would do anything he wanted. About that time I had to tell my mom but she didn't believe me. She said I was young and stupid. She said I didn't know what I was talking about. My brothers and parents would beat me up. My parents kicked me out at 12. I lived on the streets for 2 weeks under a park bridge, I went and stayed with several guys for 2 1/weeks (thought were good friends) but had to give them what they wanted and one guy tried to pay me for sex, after all that I finally found a women's homeless shelter. I'm now 21 and struggle with the pain. Thanks to my past I want and try to take my life everyday.

• by Rachel, California
• 13 years ago

My name is Rachel. I was gang raped by 4 black guys. I was walking home from school in the wash (a ditch that collects rain). I was walking alone without my knife cuz my brother pissed me off n he took it from me so I left. 4 guys showed up that my ex knew and they dragged me into one of the tunnels and brutally raped and beat me. they gave me drugs and I ended up in the hospital for about a month. it took me a year to recover physically and its only been a year and a half since it happened. I'm still recovering emotionally and mentally.

• by Kuhle, South Africa
• 13 years ago

I was 8 when it happened. I was not staying with my mom and had a fight with my cousins so I packed my bags and decided to leave, to go to my granny's place. on the way this guy grabbed me, pulled m to the bushes, took my pants off, tore my panties and he forcefully entered me. It lasted for about 2 hours, this whole time he kept on telling me that if I screamed he would kill me, I never told anyone, he is everywhere I go.

• by Amanda, Southaven
• 13 years ago

I was only 16 years old and I've been raped before. I thought it would end but it never did. that one night at the movies the theater was silent with nobody in it for 20 minutes. I thought this guy was my friend like he said but I guessed wrong. he kept kissing and feeling on me and I whispered I don't want to but he kept saying suck my dick and he had a really deep voice the third time he said it and I got so scared that I was going to get raped again so I did it but he was like you need to do it and I was terrified what would happen so of course I had to. and ever since that day last week I've been depressed over it. but nobody cares they don't believe me so what else is there to do besides be depressed?.

• by Anna, Anahiem
• 13 years ago

I was 17 and still am today. It's been 6 months now. I was visiting my moms brother. We were left alone. When I was heading to my room he followed me. I had the lights off and he raped me. I told my mom that nothing happen because I was scared and disgusted. I have tried SI but my mom found out and took me to see a doctor. I cry myself to sleep every night since. I can't trust my boyfriend because of him, when he kisses me I'm scared that it my lead to him forcing me to have sex.

• by M.Joy
• 13 years ago

I'm 16, I was raped at 7 by my cousin's husband. I didn't tell till last yr when I was hospitalized for SI attempt. I was raped again Sept 2010 by a stranger when I was walking my puppy. He held a gun to my head and threatened to shoot me. :*(


Tell me something, would you
Do you feel pain all the time
Have you heard an angel cry
Felt the tip of a gun cause life to flash before your eyes
Been tore apart and on the ground
Scared to live right here, right now
Has fear ever left you hypnotized
Told a lie cause you were scared to die
Do you face shame in their eyes

Tell me something, would you
Is your past coming at every turn
Do you cut the pain away cause it hurts
Do you judge what your worth
Are you always expecting the worst
Have you felt hungry inside
Lost on the side of the road, alone and cold

Tell me something, would you
Have you ever wanted to die
Have you ever tried to commit suicide
Did you stand on top of a bridge
Ever think death would be a gift

Tell me something, would you

• by Ashley
• 13 years ago

My name is Ashley and I'm 16 years old. I have read most of the stories and they are all sad. I've also been raped when I was 13 years old by somebody I met online. He told me he was 15 and I believed him so we met in an alley way by an old school. He was cool at first but then he started touching me and all that, he took it to far by taking off my pants and getting on top of me. I screamed real loud and cried but nobody was able to hear me. His real age was 18 but he didn't look it. I told my parents and the police about it and now the guys in jail for 58 years. till this day I still have trouble sleeping and I still think about it and I no longer trust guys.

• by Julia
• 13 years ago

When I was 11, I had just started middle school, my friend in 7th grade asked me to come to the park with him. My best friend Jacob didn't trust him, and said he wanted to come with me. While he was putting his bike away, the boy dragged me behind a bush. He didn't know Jacob was there. He started undressing me. Jacob noticed I was gone and he heard the bush rattling. Jacob hit the guy so hard that he was dazed, me and him were able to run away. Now I am 19, Jacob and I are married and have a 2 year old son. My rapist is out of jail. He lives in the same city as me. I'm so scared that one day I will see him and this day will repeat itself.

• by Tzaneen
• 13 years ago

Hey I am a 22 year old girl. I have read most of the poems about rape and it made me cry all over again. I was almost raped last year while I was pregnant during my final year at university. I tried negotiating but the moment I thought of the baby I was carrying I risked my life and ran instead I was stabbed seven wounds with a knife almost bleed to death. I showered for more than an hour with my clothes on. That stranger I never knew left open wounds in my heart. Most of the time I write my emotions in my book of poems called emotional mirror, because I am scared to talk about it is like going through it all over again.

• by Sara
• 13 years ago

This shouldn't ever happen to anyone. it happened to me. it started when I was 11. all the way until just recently. I'm almost 15. It was my step dad doing it. he was the only one I trusted. and he hurt me.
I don't trust men. I won't even go into a classroom with a male teacher.
I remember all the sleepless nights I had. I was scared. I came into foster care, but I was still seeing my stepdad. He had my little brothers. and he wouldn't let me see my brothers if he didn't do what he wanted to, and I was so scared of what was happening to my beautiful little boys. my mother was never there for me. She was a drug addict. I lived with her for a month just after my 14th birthday. and she beat me up and left me on a side of a road. I will never forgive my mom.
my mom used to bring child molesters into our house when I was young. when I was 5. she brought in a child molester that had charges on him and everything. It hurt, and I told her what he was doing to me, but she never listened.

• by Katie, Oklahoma
• 13 years ago

This poem helped me. Someone I thought was my best friend raped me. I thought of him as a brother, one niqht I was staying at his house because I was friends with his sister, I asked to go home, and he told me I have an asprin, it will help you. He date raped me by using his mother's prescription ambeian. I remembered waking up in the middle of it, he lived three houses down, and everyday I seen him he would wave and smile at me. Still to this day it sickens me... this poem helped so much....thank you. very very much. He took my virginity, and dignity, and no one believed me, thank you...

• by Mayra
• 13 years ago

Hey I'm a 13 year old girl. I have read every single story about rape. They are all sad and some of them make me cry. I was raped too! I was 5 years old when I was raped by my own grandpa. and I was 6 when I was raped by a boy and his friends. I don't wanna talk about it. cause everytime I talk about it. it just makes me wanna kill myself. I haven't told anyone about this except for a friend that I trusted. he was raped too and we share a lot of things together now he's up in the sky watching over me. now nothing will happen to me. I can't be touched by my dad not even give him a hug. if I do it I just think that it will all happen again. The same pain and in the same place. I don't talk to anyone not even my parents and they worry about me. What my grandfather and the guy with his friends did to me was very wrong. Now I can't have a life. Everytime I think about it I get a razor blade and take the pain away......

• by Devon, CA
• 13 years ago

I was 12 when it happened to me. He was my stepfather. He used to sneak into my bedroom at night when everyone was asleep. He kept a gun underneath my bed to make sure that I was too scared to tell anyone. I am now 21 years old, and I am still afraid of him. This poem helped me a lot. Thank you.

• by Mckenzie, USA
• 13 years ago

I'm 15 , when I was 10 my best friend's brother raped me outside in an field behind his apartment building. When he was done, he let his friend rape me. I felt like it was all my fault , I had fought and struggled but eventually I gave up. I couldn't look my friend in the face without wanting to tell her everything but, I held it in. When she moved away it was a weight lifted. I haven't seen him since, it's always hard though trusting boys and I find myself having sex to fill this empty void in my life, that I can't fill. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold in the pain, but for now. I'm gonna smile like everything is fine <3

• by Ragan
• 13 years ago

I am 13 yrs old now.. A lot was going on in my family so I went to go stay with my family friends and their son had a friend stay the night also while me and my sisters were there, it was around 11 and we all went outside.. my bestfriend (at the time) was drinking and smoking and he locked me and his friend in a barn... I tried to get out, but at first I didn't mind being in the barn alone with him because you know he was cute, but after awhile I was getting tired of being in there with him because he was getting all lovey dovey and touching me, but then he threw me onto the hay sack and took my pants off and got on top of me, I told him to stop and no, but he didn't care, and I started crying... It happened 2 months ago, and I just now told someone.. it's hard to deal with everyday and I'm scarred for life. he took something so special that I can never get back... :(

• by Kaylana, PA
• 13 years ago

I was raped by my step dad when I was nine and this poem is amazing. When something like this happens no one ever realizes what it does to people but it changed me forever...I'm becoming a child advocate for sexually abused children.

• by Kat, St. Louis MO USA
• 14 years ago

I am 43 years old & was raped on November 22, 2009. I was taken to the hospital & given the full Rape Kit Exam...am now taking HIV inhibitors as a precaution in case he is HIV+. He has been questioned, not arrested...like most who get caught by DNA, he is saying it was consensual.
I wanted to tell everyone about RAINN, which is a support organization for Rape, Incest, & Sexual Assault victims, as well as their family & friends. I think I would have slit my wrists if I did not have them & my local YWCA Rape Crisis Center!

• by kelsea
• 14 years ago

I was 14 when it happened to me. He was a family friend of my mothers. My step daddy was gone. Well he waited till my mom and dad weren't together. Then he raped me. we were all sleeping in the same room everyone on the floor my mom my uncle and me and my moms boyfriend he did it with them asleep next to me my mom did nothing when she woke to it and my uncle did the same no one cared about what happened. my mom told me it happens to everyone and that I asked for it somehow. I'm 17 now I have a son who I love and no he's not his, but I will make sure my son will never do that to anyone by telling him the truth about what happened to me and tell him how his mommy tried to kill herself to make it better. I'll tell him what it does to a woman and a man because I know it doesn't just happen to us, but to girls and boys and when it comes time I'll tell him

• by Amber
• 14 years ago

Hi my names Amber, I'm 16 years old last year I was staying over my best friends house she had an older bro who was 22 when everyone went to bed it was just me and him up he made me do things I would never thought of doing its been almost a year now and I still think about it

• by Brianna
• 14 years ago

This Poem was simply Amazing!

I'm 14 years old. And On June 11 I was so excited. It was my first high school party as a highschooler. My older sister wanted me to go and I usually didn't drink but this night I did. I was taking trible shots just to show off. I was so trashed my sister said she couldn't take me home like this. so she said for me to stay there until I went to sleep and cooled off then walk to my aunts house. I fell asleep on the floor and woke up on the bed. When I tried to open my eyes I couldn't because I know what was going on I Said Stop and no just about three times but I gave up. I kept my eyes close the whole time. the sounds he made degusted me. When he was over I was still half asleep I fell on the floor looked at him. Then he said this Well be our little secret. I walked out his house and walked outside. Laid in the sprinklers and just laid there. I walked to my aunts and I haven't told anybody I know. I see him just about every single day.

• by Megan
• 14 years ago

This poem is amazing. It really touched my own life in ways I really haven't been ready to talk about. My best friend & I were so excited the day the senior asked us to hang out. That Saturday night after the football game verse our rivals, we all went back to my best friend's. We all got drunk (not a very smart thing to do). One of the senior guys took my best friend into another room while the other held me down. I screamed, kicked, and struggle. By the time I got up my best friend had already been raped and left. I was next. I thank GOD everyday for my best friends mom. She came in and told the guys to scram. Sometimes I see what my best friend goes through seeing and I wish it was me not her. We still see the guys at school & the saddest part is, is that they don't even have regret.

• by amanda
• 14 years ago

my names Amanda and I'm 16 now and I was raped when I was 14 by a 18 year old from new Orleans. he was mad cause I wouldn't go out with him so he told me to meet him at the soccer field so I did and he threw me up against a barb wire fence and dragged me over the ground and began raping me. I was so scared. it hurt so bad. he took the only thing that made me happy. He's in jail for 41 years but his face still haunts me every night! I'm so sorry this happened to yall girls!!!

• by Nina
• 15 years ago

Hi. I'm 18 years old, and I was raped when I was almost 16. Nobody believed me, not even the cops. this guy has e-mailed me today, still confessing that he did it. I can't ever look at myself again, or love myself the same. I accuse my fiancé of cheating on me all the time, and it's because he has made it hard for me to trust men. I still need help because he's still haunting me. I'm so sorry girls, that this terrible experience has happened to you *HUGS*

• by Vicki
• 15 years ago

My ex boyfriend and friends came down one day and we was watching DVD's when two of my friends went downstairs and left me and my ex alone he got some hand cuffs out his pocket and hand cuffed me to the radiator and started raping me I shouted of my friends and they saved me I am unfortunately pregnant at the age of 16

• by casey
• 15 years ago

hey my names Casey and my step dad toke advantage of me my mother left him and he took it out on me I tried to scream for help but there was no one around and I tried to tell my mom but she never believed me she told me he's not like that and to this day he is still in my life and I still cant look him in the eyes my life is ruined by this man I have to call dad

• by Tiffany Rasmussen
• 15 years ago

He was my step fathers best friend, He always used to hang around my family. Till one night he came in and he took advantage of me, I was crying the whole time but no matter how hard I cried or wanted to scream nothing happened no one heard the tears, no one came to my rescue....And to this day I can't face it, I tried to tell someone, but no one listened or believed me, and he still comes around my family. I still cry silent tears

• by Jillian Richardson
• 15 years ago

This past summer I had a huge crush on my neighbor. He was my brothers friend, he was older and completely charming around my parents. Nothing ever really happened between us until he called me at two in the morning wanting to see me. I thought it was my chance and nothing would go wrong. but he came to my window drunk, I told him not to come in. but he did. I tried to get him to leave, but he wouldn't. I told him he should go home. I tried to push him off of me, but he is 3 times bigger then me. I couldn't do anything. it lasted from 2:46 in the morning to 4:49. I was crying, I could barely breath. he took advantage of me the way I thought he never would. I was fourteen, I will be 15 in January.