Images
branded into my memory,
hot with pain and guilt and hurt.
Images
flashing constantly
inside my head.
His greedy hands
touching me, feeling me,
wanting more, more, more.
Slithering up my thighs,
creeping down my back,
ricocheting fear through my being.
Images
of locked doors,
bolted windows, and closed shutters.
Remembrance of hot panic that
hijacked my soul
as the lights flickered off.
Images, images, images
boiling inside of me,
dying to be freed,
to be told, unleashed,
because I can't keep it a secret
any longer.
My words cut through
years of pain,
drunken, endless nights of
suffering and abuse, of
pain and guilt and hurt.
Pain, pain, pain that never ends.
I was surprised when others told me
they have gone through
the same.
I see images
similar to mine.
Images of
their father, brother, teacher
using them, hurting them.
Images of
the hands that cease to touch,
the consuming fear,
the guilt...
But I also see images of
healing, of escape, of
a better future.
I hold onto these images
as strength to persevere,
as a promise that life will get better.
It is not my fault.
I am not broken.
I have survived.
A Poem Of Overcoming The Pain Of Sexual Abuse
When I was little, about 1 or 2, the worst thing in the world happened to me. My mother was low on money for drugs and she wasn't bringing in enough men to feed me and have drugs, so she did...
Images
Published by Family Friend Poems January 2017 with permission of the Author.
When I was little, about 1 or 2, the worst thing in the world happened to me. My mother was low on money for drugs and she wasn't bringing in enough men to feed me and have drugs, so she did something I'll never forgive her for. She let those men rape me for more money. I had to suffer for 3 years everyday having someone touch me and make me touch them. Then I went to a foster home and my new foster mother let it be known she was only in it for the money the state gave her. She would beat me and give me food from the trash and let her grandson rape me no matter how much I begged her to make him stop. Every time he came over he would come in while every one was sleeping and pull my pants down and put it in no matter how much I fought. He was older and stronger than me. I left that house ten years ago and am living with the most amazing family that gave me the world.