Addiction Poems - Page 2

I am angry...

You made me believe you were the cure for my every kind of pain.
I had you wrapped around me while I let you take control of my veins.

At this point in time I didn't know who or what you turned me into,
But you made it impossible to get through days without you.

You had control of my body now, and if I didn't choose you,
you made me feel so sick to where I was helpless, not knowing what to do.

By now I started doing the things I swore I would never do,
lying and stealing off the people who didn't mean a thing to you.

You had me convinced that throughout my life you were determined to stay,
that I did not have that option of turning and walking away.

Before you know it, everyone I loved saw this side of me that was hurting them inside.
Every time they questioned, I did what you taught me to do...lie.

I wanted to let you go and get you out of my way,
so scared to tell someone, imagining what they would say.

Don't want to be judged, it was a decision I would have to make,
but I've wasted so much time; it was a little too late.

Being put in jail was something I knew it was going to come down to,
but it made me free of relief knowing that I could not get to you.

It was a struggle but a worthwhile fight
because now I am in control and you are out of my life.

Being sober turned me into the person I've always wanted to be,
and that was the one day you were praying I would never see.

Now I am doing the good things I never imagined myself to do,
and proudly I can say I am doing them without you.

You think it's cool when you get high.
You don't even see the things that go by.
Time flies when you're having fun.
But one day your body can't handle
What you have done.

Your body is weak
But you think you are strong
The next month has came along
You're in the hospital 
Thinking what have I done.
You O.D that's quite sad
Your going to end up just like your dad
Living on the streets no place to go
Bumming off money so you can
Sniff up the nose. That sounds
Great what a plan If you
Stop now we can get you help
You don't have to be like this
It's like you are crying for help
What made you do drugs
We haven't a clue
But we know it's done bad
Things for you

It's been a few months you're back in ER
Pumping your stomach
That don't go very far.
You had a choice
Of what to do so I guess this
Is the new you, this is what you
Accomplished in the past few years.

As time goes by your addiction gets worse
You're in the hospital once a week.
As days go by you can barley get up
On your feet.

Today's the day you get put in the ground
I guess you made your choice. You didn't make it
As far as your dad but hey some people just end
Up lucky when they do drugs that one WASN'T YOU!

Well, it's nice to finally meet you.
I've been waiting for your call.
I've noticed you've been crying,
And I've watched you pace the halls.

Whatever has been hurting you,
I can make it disappear.
You know you have nothing to lose,
Nothing to live for, nothing to fear.

Thank you for your invention.
I'll be sure not to leave your side.
We'll become very fast acquainted.
My naive child, there's no use trying to hide.

I should probably introduce myself.
I am your very own addiction.
But you cannot be angry with me.
I am you own self-conviction.

I bet you feel rather stupid,
Falling right into my lap.
I'm a master at manipulation.
You'll never escape my trap.

How does it feel to dance with the Devil?
For he and I are one in the same.
God has completely abandoned you,
So you might as well stay in the game.

Are you honestly going to try and beat me?
A useless battle if you want to know.
Go ahead and make an attempt.
Besides, I'm in the mood for a good show.

I guess you think you're special.
But your sobriety has only lasted a year.
I'm still around every corner,
In the back of your mind.
I'm your greatest fear.

I'll always be your dirty little secret.
I won't disappear over time.
Twenty years from now you may falter,
And I'll be the first thing that comes to mind.

A vicious cycle, that's what you're thinking,
But I'm only speaking the truth.
I'm Satan's weapon of mass destruction.
The silent killer of America's youth.

It's genius when you think of it.
Everyone's looking for some Armageddon war.
But what the fools don't realize
Is every day Armageddon walks through their front door.

Looking forward with fear I stare.
I face the mirror to see there.
I've lost my family, my friends are few.
You've controlled my life but now I'm through.
I'm finally strong enough to fight.
By myself I'll make this right.
I've lived in hell with my demon.
I've done your deeds, a life of scheming.
All I've loved I've lost, no hope.
All that's left is you and dope.
Seeing life smoked through a glass
To erase the memories from my past.
With every hit I kept you strong.
I've stayed weak for far too long.
I'm taking back all you stole.
My life, my love, my world, my soul.
Today's the day I leave this jail.
So take your demon and go to hell.

I wake up in the morning, see you're not there.
By 10am I feel sick, I need you my dear.
Why can't I have you all the time.
I need you. It hurts me it makes me cry.
I can't handle the truth, reality and life.
You are so good you make me feel unreal.
I would rather be with you then anyone else.
I can't eat or sleep without you baby, you are my world.
You drive me insane.
All I want is your pleasure,
but hunting for you is pain.
What the heck am I going to gain.
forgetful, always broke and looking dopey.
who wants to be friends with a phony.
I will pay you back, maybe next month.
I do nothing until then but sit on my ass.
While I constantly smoke my grass.
24/7 its a full time job.
Now I'm bored with life
God why did you let me see.
at such a young age, how good marijuana can really be.
It has ruined me from time to time,
I'm just hanging in there I will be just fine..
Fighting fighting and more abuse.
I'm lost in my own world and can't anybody see.
now nothing is making sense to me
I don't know who I am any more.
I've lost the plot until the very end.
I have no feelings my friend.
I'm not a person nor human, male or female.
I am a doped up scumbag and I can never change.....
I HATE MYSELF FOR SMOKING POT AND TRYING TO BE COOL.
IT HAS NOW ROBBED ME FROM MY LIFE.
I HAVE NO INTERESTS OR EMOTIONS
I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE...

(Ode to Alcohol)
The queasy feeling in my stomach
The pounding in my head
The only thoughts in my mind
Were wishing I was dead

My forehead covered in cold sweats
Body shakes beyond control
The endless aching in my bones
As you consumed my very soul

The minutes turned into hours
The hours turned into days
suddenly, every moment that I ever lived
Was just a smoke filled haze

As I watched my body waste away
And my life slowly coming to an end
I realized. That I was wrong
You're the devil & not my friend

So, I'm taking back what's left of my life
Not one more second will you dominate
I'll bet the strength that lives in me
You didn't anticipate

Cast you spell on someone else
Find another unsuspecting prey
I came to live, NOT to die
And my life begins TODAY...

For the rest of my life, cursed with this disease.
For all those who suffer, we just got to believe.
Believing in yourself is the hardest thing to do,
so take a look in the mirror and ask do you see you?
Every day and every night we hurt,
wishing we were taken care of by a nurse.
This morning I woke up, fell out of my bed.
Wish I had some pills for the pain in my head.
What ya'll don't know is what ya'll don't see...
the disease trying to take control makes me want to bleed.
Past memories, shooting up all these cravings.
I don't want to use, I pray, I'm begging.
Please strengthen me, for every day is a new day,
but where's my strength, when all I do is lay.
No energy, no effort to be who I want to be.
The life of an addict, can't you see?
This battle has been won.
The war, my friend, will forever go on.
So now what are you going to do?
Hold my head up high and try not to get the blues!
No more smoking powder out of that pipe.
I'm in the fight for my life.
I've come a long way, so you don't got to judge.
When standing next to me, don't give me that nudge.
If you really want to know, I will tell
my journal, turned into a book; it might sell.
My dreams are now back in sight
with help through the darkness is that light.
Shocked and smiling, knowing I did survive
through this disease. Thank God, I am still alive.

Beautiful and bright was the Young Dragon.

Capable and caring,
Sensitive but strong,
The life of the Young Dragon
Couldn't go wrong.

Upright and steadfast,
Courageous with might,
Who knew the Dragon
Would get lost in the night.

For the Dragon met Tiger,
Who lured him away,
Into the jungle
Of life's tumultuous way.

Down the path of
Destruction, sorrow and woes,
Down the path of
Seduction, deceit and morose.

The Tiger made promises
Which led Dragon astray,
Away from his mother, siblings and wife,
Away from the people who'd given him life.

Deep into the jungle
Dragon followed Tiger.
Farther off the path of the good life
Deeper on the road of sorrow and strife.

And when the Dragon was
Broken, desolate and alone,
Looking through bars
At the life that he'd known,

Tiger smiled and nodded his head,
For the beautiful Dragon
Was standing alone
Far from his life, his family and home.

But Tiger underestimated
The Spirit of love,
Looking out for Dragon
From high up above.

Spirit opened doors
By providing the keys,
All Dragon had to do
Was reach for these.

Be strong, Young Dragon,
Do what you must,
Before vicious Tiger
Turns you to dust.

Reject all he offers,
Come back to the way.
We're waiting, Dear Dragon,
Please join us today.

Come back from the jungle,
The Tiger and harm.
We're waiting, Dear Dragon,
With wide-open arms.

The path will be twisted,
And hardships abound,
With determination as your companion,
You'll gain the high ground.

Your new life awaits you,
Grab on and demand
That the Tiger who holds you,
Desist and disband.

Shuck off your demons,
Dig deep down inside,
And know that the Spirit
Has nothing but pride.

Pride for the Dragon
Who was led astray,
Because Dragon has the courage
To keep Tiger at bay.


M. A. D.
(mother against drugs)
Cheryl Chartier
Mother's Day
May 9, 2004