Rape Poem

Poem Raped At 12

This is my story, about what happened to me when I was 12. The point was to get people to feel, and understand something that not everyone understands. For those who haven't experienced this, I hope it helps you understand and connect with people who have.

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Black Bird

Laura C. Lords ©

Published by Family Friend Poems October 2018 with permission of the Author.

Painting is for pictures
too hard to understand
so let me paint you a picture
of a girl
who has a little too much to understand..

her heart was a two ton brick in her fist
that kept her pinned
to the exact spot on the ground
he wanted her to be in
when she's 12
and those 27 minutes felt like eternity,
clinging to her sanity

like the last molecule of burned up air in a gas chamber
she slept on cindered feathers
sucking on the bones of her rotting body
holding back panicked breaths
like other kids hold stuffed animals
sinister smiling eyes
venom spit
splashed across her limbs

"You're so pretty.."
you're so pretty.
seeds of fear planted
in a daughter,
whose father,
didn't know,
she couldn't go any farther

the limbs of her body bare branched
creaking away from his whispered breaths
leaves burned up with the heat of guilt
hidden in the smoke are her pleading eyes
her roots ripped up and flung away
with the drop of his pants
gritting teeth sewn shut
with the bone needles of a broken bird
brittle body vibrating
against the pine tree that
looked "so pretty,"
two hours ago

two bodies
two lungs
pressed against the cage
that kept her soul contained
red and blue flashes
translate to blackness
and 6 years later
her sheets are still soaked
trembling with the sound of her own frozen voice
cracking
shattering

melting into puddles she tried to pick up
with dirty hands
and a dirty heart
dripping into the exact consistency
of the mud he left her in
fingernails full of his fingerprints
and the dew on the grass
came from her eyes
and the sheen off her body
clothing buried
and burned
smoking up to follow the bird
that unwillingly flew away

blacked painting hung up
on the pale bone frame
those 18 years and no one taught him a shred of decency
you'd think it should be inked into his humanity
but no.
she sings into the ashes
calling it back
lungs raw
throat black

she can't see his face
she can't know his name
she can't say that
she carved herself up like an animal
creating a scarred picture
everyone's seen before
but few have known
can't say that she breathes a storm
then pounds her body
until her tears turn red
and everything goes numb again
and she can finally believe for a second
your hands aren't his hands

If I knew her what could I say?
that there's something beautiful about skinned knees
and the fault lines in her eyes
and the way she scrubs her blood from the floor
and the fact that I can't stay quiet anymore
the flames my guilt fans
grow brighter when I think
that because I didn't speak
he could have gone on to ruin
another perfect thing
a perfect thing who's picture
looks a whole lot like mine.

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Prathi by Prathi
  • 8 months ago

I was 9 when the sexual abuse started... Not once or twice... I lost count after a while... It was by my mom's boyfriend.. He raped me... Not just that he used to beat me... When i was 15 I told my mom.. But she didn't believe me.. After a while she became kinda toxic and now she uses it against me in arguments and when she is angry... I still can't forget him or what he did... The depression phase... I was suicidal.. I used to self harm... I was sleepless... I couldn't study properly...the PTSD...My whole childhood was destroyed by that man.. I'm 22 now... I am trying to get better day by day

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  • Syddakid22 by Syddakid22
  • 1 year ago

I was 15 and in a relationship with a boy I thought I was in love with. At 15, what do we really know? But once it happened, I knew. No matter how many times we can talk about it, guys still think saying no is okay. After it happened, I was so silent, so scared to tell the people around me because I thought they would see me differently. The moment I did tell someone, they blamed me. They blamed me for a situation I couldn't control. The only person I could trust was the person I thought I couldn't. To this day, I am scarred by the unwanted hands that touched me many times before. I am glad there are people out there who share their stories. You all are very brave, and I am glad that you guys have expressed yourselves here. Keep being strong.

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  • Lulu by Lulu
  • 2 years ago

I snooped through my sister's diary on her phone, and I found out she has been sexually assaulted and raped, though she was not sure as it happened when she was younger than 10. She was assaulted by our neighbour's son. She wrote that she remembered feeling pain in her private part though she thinks it may just be a thought. She was teased by my father's friend when she started developing breasts. She felt humiliated when he touched her breast. My mother found blood in her underwear when she was woken up from her nap, which she indicated it was only my father who was in the house. I was sexually assaulted by my sister's assaulter's father. My sister has been diagnosed with severe depression, and she searches disturbing things and the dark web though she wrote she never visited. She doesn't talk about her feelings too, and I am worried about her.

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  • Jade Sullens by Jade Sullens
  • 2 years ago

I was just 7 years old when my brother-in-law did it to me. It happened from 7-13 years old, and I told somebody when I was in a different state from him with my grandparent. It wasn't soon enough to get him locked up, so he is still out there free. I hope nobody has to go through this, but I can't promise it won't. Just stay safe and I will pray it won't happen again.

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  • Hira Siddiqui by Hira Siddiqui
  • 2 years ago

So this man in my neighborhood used to sexually harass me from when I was like 7 and now - I am 15. He even used to harass my elder sister, but she never spoke a word. Everybody else told me to keep quiet, but now I won't, and I want strict actions to be taken against him. My family should not know about this as they think they will get insulted.

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  • Rachael by Rachael
  • 2 years ago

I was raped by my brother from age 6 to 27. I am mentally disabled, so I can't live on my own. I was also hit repeatedly by my mom and also thought it was my fault. I still have a hard time with it. I'm 32 and in state custody. I wake up screaming from the nightmares. I'm working on getting better and getting the help I need. Thank you for writing this poem.

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  • Anna by Anna
  • 2 years ago

To all the people in the comments who this story may ring all too familiar: I don't know who you are, but I am sending all my love to you. You are stronger than you could ever know. I am hoping and wishing that your life may get better or is getting better. You deserve nothing but the world and all the happiness in it.

  • Allison Valle by Allison Valle
  • 3 years ago

Hi, I was a victim of rape during my last middle school year and during a relationship in high school. The first one happened when I was 11 and stopped when I was about to turn 13. My stepfather did it to me. I felt so sick, that I would have to shower 2-3 times a day, and I would scrub myself really hard because I felt like he was still touching me. The second time happened when I was 16 and an ex-boyfriend of mine did it to me in his house where everyone in his family was present. I tried to scream for help, but he kept my mouth shut and was choking me. It has been 5 years since it happened, and I know I didn’t provoke them. They just couldn’t keep it in their pants.

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  • Deepali Khandelwal by Deepali Khandelwal
  • 2 years ago

It's really horrible to listen and see such things happening. I wish I could stop it one day. I haven't been through this and never want to. Because of this happening, a lot of girls are scared. They are scared to go out alone, and even sometimes I get scared when some people stare at me continuously. And when I read the cases and the victims' stories, I really get goosebumps.

  • Cade by Cade
  • 2 years ago

I was molested by my older half-brother when I was 6. He was 13. And I still am scarred to this day from it, and it has caused me to have depression, and it made me think that it was my fault.

  • Danielle Hanna Elise Hendricks by Danielle Hanna Elise Hendricks
  • 3 years ago

Wow, that was really sad to hear, and I wish that the world we live in was not so cruel. I have not experienced such sexual kind of stuff. I one day wish for this cruel world to turn up right again.

  • A.S. by A.S.
  • 4 years ago

I just wanted to say thank you for this poem. I was raped and molested multiple times when I was 6-9 years of age. I thought it was my fault that he was doing it, so I never told anyone till quite recently. It has been 5 years since the last time, and I have realized it wasn't my fault. Thank you for sharing story.

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I was so touched by this heartbreaking tale that no person should have to endure, nevertheless a twelve-year-old. I was lucky and never had something so overwhelmingly hard to live through happen to me. I thought I understood how painful it could be for anyone who hadn't been so lucky. I didn't know. Now I fully understand how hard this experience can be and how it could truly ruin lives. My heart goes out to the author. I cried when I read it. It was beautifully written and I'm sure it will help others that have been through the same ordeal feel that they are not alone - that someone else has been there and has put their story out there to help others understand. Thank you for sharing your poem.

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  • Sonia by Sonia
  • 3 years ago

I was 14 years old when my closest uncle raped me, I just couldn't do anything yes, like he was really close to our family. I did not wanted to disappoint my parents, I kept quiet for ages but now when it gets layered on then I just burst out of tears and anger, I did my own Justice and now I am 18 trying to make my future brighter!

  • Karlee Oliver by Karlee Oliver
  • 4 years ago

Hi, I'm a victim of rape, and it's sad because it was my brother that did it to me. He did it to me for 12 years, and now I'm 31, but I'm ok now.

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