I Did Not Expect This

• by Fiona
• 5 years ago

I had my first miscarriage there Monday. I was 6 weeks, and it is nothing like I ever felt before. Our baby is a loss I will never forget. Such a lovely poem.

• by Sidney
• 8 years ago

Your poem truly touched my heart. I am 19, and I have lost three babies. One when I was 18 and two this year. I was six weeks along with all three. I was scared but so excited when I found out I was pregnant. I found out I was pregnant a few days before I lost my babies. One minute I was filled with excitement and the next I was filled with sorrow. I was so lost and felt so alone. It felt like my heart was breaking in two and like my world had stopped, but I keep pushing forward and living one day at a time. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your poem. It summed up exactly what I felt and still feel to this day.

• by Erin, Washington, NJ
• 9 years ago

My husband and I just recently lost our first little one (11/04/2015). I was just about 6 weeks along. We had only just found out a few days before. I was looking forward to my first doctor's visit, to planning a baby shower, decorating a nursery, etc. I'm 37 years old and had been waiting for this moment a very long time. So, to say I was disappointed when I woke up and saw the blood is an understatement. My husband rushed me to the E.R. We both knew things had gone seriously wrong, our little one was gone just like that. However, neither one of us was ready to say it yet. We kept saying this is normal. Things like this happen during the first trimester. But it was playing in the back of both of our minds that this wasn't good. My heart sank even more when the ultrasound tech wouldn't let me see the screen. All she kept saying is that the doctor would talk to me. I knew, I saw the look on her face. I went numb, things got blurry. These stories have helped me to feel less alone.

• by Heather Eisele, Iowa
• 10 years ago

I understand so much your pain. I'm nineteen and just lost my first pregnancy to a natural miscarriage. I had done everything the right way, and the doctor said it was just a natural occurrence. When I asked why, he gave me a pitying look and said, "Sometimes these things just happen." I don't think this pain I'm feeling is "natural," and it's so hard to accept that there was nothing I could have done. I feel so guilty. Thank you for this poem, you put everything I'm feeling right now into words.

• by Marian, Australia
• 11 years ago

Thank you for the poem, I hear this from everyone "it's natures way". But it does not stop the pain. I had a scan at 6 weeks and there was a heart beat. You plan, you have hopes and dreams for this little baby. Then at my 11 week scan my husband and I we're so excited. My OB tried to listen for a heat beat he found mine but no baby, then he went to do an ultra sound I said "was he sleeping", "no" he said...and everything changed.

• by Amanda Verona, WI
• 11 years ago

I just lost my baby the day after Christmas this year, I would of been a day shy of 8 weeks along when my angel baby left, just 3 days after seeing the little flicker of the heart on the ultrasound. This poem really helped share with others how I feel right now. Thank you for sharing your memory and poem with us, it helps me feel not so alone in this.

• by Stacey Singleton
• 12 years ago

This happened to me a couple of months ago. When I was younger I had a rare illness that almost cost me my life, but God was there to help me through everything. Then when I heard the news that I would probably never be able to have kids my heart hurt so bad because I love children and I always wanted to become a mother. So time went on I became older graduated high school in 2008 went to college to pursue my dreams of becoming an RN then more on my education to become a pediatrician. I started dating my wonderful boyfriend (whom I known since I was 12 and he was 15) but we went our separate ways for couple of years until fate brought us together on November 1 2011. We have been dating almost 2 years now and we found out a miracle that I was pregnant on July 9 2013. This was a shocker to us because first the doctors told me I would never be able to reproduce and also it took about a year and a half to become pregnant.
Then on July 12th me and my older sister (whom is also pregnant she was due 6 days after me) was in a car accident. I went to hospital they said baby was fine. 3 days later at work I almost passed out my boyfriend took me to ER because I was bleeding. Waited for 2 hours finally they did test still was in there for another 5 hours before they said that I had a threaten miscarriage (I was upset really upset) then the doctor told us to go get my HCG levels read in a couple of days because they were not doubling but decreasing. So we did let me tell you after all of the stuff I went through I prayed every night to have my baby safe I guess I didn't pray enough because after weeks of blood test and going in and out of doctors offices I had lost my miracle baby at 8 weeks too, so I know exactly how you feel. And I love your poem I really do!

• by Loryanna Kissimmee, Fl
• 12 years ago

I just lost my baby on June 23 2013 I was 10 weeks. I was painting my son's room and started bleeding I rushed to the hospital just knowing that my baby had died when the Dr. told me the heart wasn't beating I felt like my heart just broke into a million pieces. I still can't believe my baby's dead how am I to move on from this and try again when all I can do is wish to hold my unborn child and see its little face. I wish there were answers to why these things happen but I will never forget the child I never met.

• by Cheyenne, Cincinnati
• 12 years ago

I was 13 weeks when I lost my baby I ran out of the doctors thinking how could this happen to me? I would of been a great mother, I wanted this more than anything. It broke my relationship. He said it didn't, but I think it did. I cry on the days that I should be happy. But God took my baby away from me and I have friends and family that have kids and don't even want them. I miss you ever day my little one Mommy and Daddy love you so much... Mom watch over my little one until I get there.

• by Laura
• 13 years ago

I lost my angel at 8 weeks, on November 17,2011 and I just cant stop thinking about my loss, my baby father and I had just broken up and I was so stressed, I cant stop blaming myself for my lost if only I wasn't so stressed I would have been the first time mother that I am longing for now. Is it natural for me to want another baby I feel so empty like a part of me is missing. It is now November and every night I still cry myself to sleep.

• by Ebony Tampa, Fl
• 14 years ago

I just recently lost my baby 10/10/11 I was only 8 weeks I'm trying to understand why this happened to me. I feel like these tears are endless.... RIP to all the babies we never got to hold...!

• by Ashley~, Birmingham
• 14 years ago

I can truly agree about the pain that never goes away and people expect you to get over it. I was 7 weeks when I lost my baby, I got up in a happy and good mood because it was my birthday and I was excited about going to check on my little one. When it was time for me to check on my little one, it wasn't a heartbeat. I still cry till this even though it has been a whole year, the pain will never go away..

• by Laken, Alabama
• 14 years ago

I had miscarriage while I was at work. Me and my boss who was my cousin had a disagreement and I got upset! I went to the bathroom and I started bleeding! So I went to my Dr. and my baby had no heart beat I am so upset and very depressed. I just found out that I have a cousin who is expecting and I'm upset about that and I don't know why

• by Jacqueline, South Africa
• 14 years ago

I lost my baby 12 years ago when I was 15 weeks. And though the pain goes away there isn't a day I don't think about her. A friend of mine has just miscarried at 8 weeks and 5 days. It was her first and I have no words to say that can take that pain away

• by Velvet, Rimbey
• 14 years ago

I miscarried almost exactly 4 years ago, when I went for my 9 week scan, there was no heartbeat. the loss has left a hole that nothing will ever fill, and is not something that anyone can understand unless they go through it. people think that because it was so early, it should be easier to get over. But they don't understand. from the moment I heard the words, "you're pregnant" I loved that baby more than words can ever express, and will miss him/her for the rest of my life. It's not something I will ever 'get over'. I know exactly how you feel.

• by Jade, Alexandria VA
• 14 years ago

I just found out I lost my baby two days ago, I was 9 weeks pregnant. Started with abdominal pain and bleeding. I knew I was going to lose it when I was crying in the bathroom. Went to get the ultra sound and was confirmed. So heartbreaking, it was our first pregnancy, we were going to wait and tell our friends and family at Christmas...now, it's not going to happen. We just bought a baby name book two days before the miscarriage, I am very sad.

• by Carolyn, Carlinville
• 15 years ago

I lost one child through miscarriage and one adult child at age 33. There is an emptiness that never goes away.
It doesn't matter how much counseling you seek or how busy one tries to stay, the pain is there underneath the surface.
I miss them both.

• by Madeleine, Cape Town
• 15 years ago

I feel your pain. I had it happened to me twice in six months. both times when I went for my 9 week scan, there was no heart beat. That is after I saw the heart beat at 6 weeks. All the test came back positive, they say there was nothing wrong. Wish it were so that I can take some medication for it, so it won't happen again