All I Know Is

• by Sandie Fuller
• 11 months ago

I feel for you all as I, too, have suffered the loss of a loved one. My youngest son hanged himself on October 3, 2018 at the age of 25 after suffering depression, social anxiety disorder, lack of confidence and paranoia. He went from a happy, confident little boy who made friends easily to a young adult with mental health problems who found that alcohol was the only way he could face the world. I am devastated as we had a special bond. I can't believe I won't ever see him again. This is after losing a much loved daughter-in-law (another son's wife) to cancer 6 months ago.

• by Marla Jones
• 11 months ago

I found my son. It was April 26, 2018. He was 22 years old. My son hung himself outside of my home. The tears never stop. The heartache is so strong that it makes me struggle for every breath, every thought. Thank goodness I have a wonderful support group.

• by Ann W
• 2 years ago

I lost my 33 year old son 11 days ago, and I'm searching for anything that makes sense. He had a wife and baby who will turn two in a few weeks. He worked hard. He was sick vomiting on the day he died and went in to bed to rest. He never woke up. The preliminary autopsy showed no cause. He had a few seizures in the past, but this makes no sense. I am grief stricken and broken.

• by Tamara Teague
• 2 years ago

I lost my son on November 9, 2015. It's almost been 1 year. I found him dead in his kitchen 4 hours after he left my home and we made plans to watch a football game that night. It forever haunts me. I think too often of the “what if?” I'm 53 and Michael had turned 36 - 3 days before. My son died from an accidental prescription overdose.

Other than faith, I'm not sure how I made it. My world stopped. It's so quiet and empty. I try to be strong, but just the slightest memory sends me to the most vulnerably weak place I've never been to until now.

• by Mechelle Hickman, Syracuse
• 4 years ago

In the wee hours of the July 4th 2015, My beautiful, sweet, sunny, boy Tyler lost his battle with addiction. He over dosed on a cocktail of xanax, heroin, cocaine, and alcohol. He was 26 years and 19 days old. I know that I am forever changed and I am afraid of just how much and in what ways. My marriage was on the rocks before this and now I'm sure it's over. My husband whom I've been married to for just over 3 years has yelled at me and been horrible because he doesn't understand my grief. I don't even understand it. I feel so much guilt for doing the tough love thing but I was at my wits end with him. I had begun refusing to let him come around me or his younger sister when he was high and I knew he was high when he called me the night of the 3rd. He wanted a ride, presumably to get drugs and I refused. I keep thinking that if only I had gone to get him he would still be here....I know I have to seek counseling and I will....I just wish I had done so many things differently...

• by Maureen Irish
• 4 years ago

My son Aaron died on March 26, 2015 -- a little over three months ago. I'm sad every day of my life and I will never be the same again because of it. He was only 22 years old and he suffered with severe mental illness and he sought drugs to overcome the demons in his head, but to no avail. He overdosed and fell many times hitting his head over and over. It's a sad story and it's so painful to tell it. He was a good person. He always helped me cut up vegetables, or fold laundry, or take out the trash. I miss him so much -- his smile, his voice, his secret handshakes. A part of me died along with my son just a few short months ago. My hope is in knowing that he had faith in the Lord and in the end, he went home to the loving arms of his savior. I look forward to seeing him again one day, when it's my turn.

• by Sondra, Homosassa
• 4 years ago

I lost my son to diabetes (which he did not take care of very well) and alcohol 10 years ago. I didn't understand then, and I still don't. He had been married only 1 1/2 years without any children. I still beg him to come home. I see him on almost every street I walk. As all of you know, there are no words to describe our deepest feelings. I still have my daughter, who is the light of my life, and her son. I talk to my grandson about his Uncle Jerry every chance I get. I want him to know how much Jerry would have loved to have known him and teach him soccer. I still cry often, but only when I am alone. No one can understand how after 10 years I still can't move on completely. I only hope there really is a heaven, and I will be with him again.

• by Bret Lyon
• 4 years ago

My wife and I lost our son Jared on May 13th, 2013 to a drug overdose, he was 25. He was precious and beloved to us and we miss him more than words can say. All of us that have lost children will never get over this tragedy, we will only get used to the fact that they are not with us here on earth anymore. After almost 2 years we are still devastated, we grieve for our loss every hour, every day. Love is so strong that it compels us to do so. I have no answers or reasons or explanations, only memories and a hurting heart.
My prayer for each parent that is represented here is that you may find some comfort for your grieving heart and mind. May The Lord bless and hold each one near to him and help all of us to face another day.

• by Pamela Butler, PA USA
• 4 years ago

My son, Nick,37, collapsed and died on March 12, 2015. This poem so reached out to me. It says what I cannot say.

• by Pamela Butler, PA USA
• 4 years ago

I was reading different poems trying to figure out what I am "supposed to do/feel". I came across this poem and it blew me out of the water. My son ,Nick, just passed away on March 12,2015! Nick died very unexpectedly at age 37. He left a wife and four small children. He was talking with his sister, collapsed and died. ! ! This poem says exactly what I am feeling. I want him back ! I don't like what is going on inside of me !!

• by Melissa Foy, North Carolina
• 4 years ago

On early February 14th, 2015, my son Gary Daniel Stewart and his friend, Jon were coming home from celebrating my son's 21st birthday. They both had been drinking. They were less than 20 seconds from my son's house. They crashed head on into a tree and both died instantly. This was 11 days ago. I am still numb, unable to accept that he is no longer here. It is so very hard to understand and I feel like I can't go anywhere, can't drive, can't function.

• by Marquisha Thomas, Mayflower Ar
• 4 years ago

On May 8,2014 I lost my first born Raphael T. Skinner Jr. We had a blowout tried to control by cutting truck off and placing in park I was wrong I haven't been right every since My daughter Optic Nerve was damaged I believe in God and Jesus God knows I miss my son. I know God is Babysitting and Jesus will work out my baby girl's disability. I love Raphael and thank God for the wonderful 13 years with my baby on earth can't wait to join you son. mommy misses you.

• by Stella, Modesto CA
• 5 years ago

I lost my son on May 14, 2014. Luciano was 24 years old. I have so much sadness and miss him deeply. I have to accept that this happened and I have to live with this unbearable grief. What keeps me going is knowing that my son would not want me sad all the time. If he could tell me something it would be something like "why are you worrying so much mom, everything will be OK in the end". I love you Luciano Juan and you will live forever in my heart.

• by Kansas
• 5 years ago

Today is my son's angel day. It has been 5 yrs. since I lost my Joe. He was 18. He overdosed when trying to get high. He was on his way to school when it started hitting him and he pulled into a parking lot. I called him and he told me where he was but when I asked what he was doing, he said "dreaming". I got to him while he was alive, but when all he could say was "ahhh". He coded 3 times at the hospital and could not get him back. Five years later it still hurts. People don't understand, my supervisor doesn't like it when I start crying at work, but what can I do, I can't hide that I lost my son. My heart was broken and scattered around the universe in a million pieces. I don't think it will ever been put back together again. I miss him dearly.

• by Jackson Ms
• 6 years ago

I to read this beautiful poem. Tomorrow Sept. 17 Is my son's birthday. He was one of Gods ( Heavens very special child)
He could never do nothing for himself. But I forever Thank God for this special Angel
He sent to us. I can all ways see the beautiful smile on his face. My son passed Oct 12--1999 But it still seem like it was yesterday. No I don't think the pain ever goes away you can just handle it a little better.

• by Retha, Benton AR
• 6 years ago

My son took his on life on 3/16/13. His name was Jonathan. He was my first born and only son. His daughter Lylah was born on 2/16/10 and passed away on 3/18/10. He was so devastated by her loss. I have been looking for poems to express my feelings and I found it in this poem. Thank you!!!

• by El Paso, Tx
• 6 years ago

I lost my first born son John, on August 15, 2010, he was 28 years old. Time does not heal this type of wound, for there is no greater pain than a mother losing her child, at any age. It is just not the natural course of life. It is coming up on 3 years in just four days, but the pain is just as intense. I have two other children, but that does not make the pain any less. He was my everything, and life is just not the same without him. Only those who have lost a child can understand. It seems so unfair, and so many questions unanswered, but I guess it was all in God's plan and I'm trying my best not to lose my faith, but it's an every day struggle. I love you my son.

• by Sandy, Arjoon
• 6 years ago

My son Narin was shot and killed on July 2, 2012. My life is so empty and I don't know what to do. Everyday I pray they catch the killer so I can have some type of closure. I miss him very much. He was 19, he would have been 21 this November 21. He left behind a beautiful daughter.

• by Bronx, N.Y.
• 6 years ago

I lost my son Alfredo on 4/26/13, he went to sleep the night before and never woke he was 41. I had arrived at work when I received the call. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The sadness is he was raising his 6 year old son when he passed. My son had an older brother, sister which he was very close. We will miss him deeply.

• by Angela, Levittown
• 6 years ago

My daughter lost her son on June 4th 2011. He was crossing a main road and was struck down by two cars. He was pronounced dead immediately and my daughter will never be the same. She does have three other beautiful children, but you never get over the death of a child. This poem, I know is exactly how she feels. I wish with all my heart. I could ease her pain, but I can't. I know he is an angel watching over his family. He always was my special angel.

• by Chicago Il
• 6 years ago

I too just lost my son.. On 2-13-13.. He was only 28. May 11,2013 he would be turning 29. It was sudden. I was at work and got the phone call. He went to sleep and never woke up. God sent his angels to get him. He was my first born. He was beautiful inside and out. Always there for me. We talked everyday. My heart hurts every min of everyday. He never got the chance to get married or have children. He had so much life to live. I am so depressed. I think of him and I cry. If I look at a picture of him I cry.. I want him back... I feel so sick everyday, This poem does say it all. My pain just started and I will have it with me all my life.. A mother son is very special... God Bless you all.... I'm sorry for all of you that has lost a child.. So unfair. I don't understand what Gods plans are but I'm trying to trust in him. I'm trying to keep my faith...

• by Toni, PA
• 6 years ago

My son Nicholas died almost 2 years ago at the age of 21. I miss him so much, I was a single parent and we did so much together. I cry everyday for him, & I am tired of people saying aren't you over him by now. I will never be over losing my son. I loved him and would have traded places with him. He was my only child and I feel the exact same feelings that you have put into this poem. Thank you.

• by Sue, Bellevue
• 6 years ago

On November 25, 2012 an officer came to let us know our son had taken his life. We were looking for him and asked people if they had seen him. This poem says everything I feel. I am tired of being told it will get easier and I need to move on. I can't and I don't know how.

• by Miranda, CA
• 6 years ago

My name is Kristie and my beautiful boy was just killed in a car accident. He was 17 years old and his name was Steven James Hillaire the kindest boy I've you could ever know. He was killed on November, 11, 2012 on the Ave of giants in the redwoods. I'm at a loss as to what I'm doing, he was my reason for living now he is gone. This was gonna be our time, our plans were going to finally be put in motion. We were gonna be partners and come up with something great. I miss him and I want him back

• by Tamara Aitken
• 6 years ago

I lost my son on 11/26/09. His name was also Nicholas. He was 18 years old and a few months. It has been nearly 3 years and it still is so very painful. He died after a fall. I miss him so much. So much sadness.

• by Karen, San Antonio Tx
• 6 years ago

My wonderful 24 year old son took his life and left me on March 27, 2012. I loved this poem it says exactly how I feel. My son was so wonderful and loving he called me every morning on his way to work, and every evening going home. It's so hard. I still look at the clock and expect his call. I'm so lost without him. My heart hurts so much I don't think it will ever get easier!

• by Pep Tan
• 7 years ago

I lost my son in law May 10, 2012- 12:30 noon in front of a camera at the cafe in NY while he drank coffee. His partner, with no history of violence, shot and killed my 31 year old son in law. The pain is unbearable. Not a day or a minute go by without thoughts of this senseless murder.

• by Ray, San Antonio Tx
• 7 years ago

A lady high on drugs caused a fatal car accident. On April 1, 2008 I lost my Son 22 years old, my grandson 3 years old and my nephew 20 years old and thier friend Cameron. I am not suppose to bury my son (Ramon and grandson Ramon Jr.) they were suppose to bury me. And 4 years have gone by already and the pain still lingers.

• by Suva, Fiji Islands
• 7 years ago

I lost my 1 year 10 months old son on the 14/03/2012, and its killing me. I missed him so so much. He was my world, he was everything to me. Everyday I think of him and it's heartbreaking. Whenever I see kids like him, I break...I JUST MISS HIM SO MUCH.

• by Tisha, Oklahoma
• 7 years ago

This touched my heart so much, its as if I wrote the words myself. I lost my only son Nicholas on 1/28/2008 at 2:05 am, five days after a tragic car accident, and exactly 17 years 1 month to the hour and minute that he was born. I miss him so much.

• by Rita Veiga-Berry
• 7 years ago

My Son Andrew died April 23, 2012, he was 49. He died of liver failure. He was so loved by so many people, he touched so many hearts, always trying to make people happy. I can't see my life without him. The pain is so hard to take, I don't think I'm going to survive without him. I have a Daughter and another Son that love me and are worried about me getting sick. I tell them everyday I will do the best I can for them. I don't know how to live now that my Son is gone..

• by Nazleen Hunjan, London
• 7 years ago

I have been reading all these stories trying to see if there really is a time when someone heals from a loss as great as this but by the sounds of it you just do not!!! I lost my beautiful 23 year old son on the 18th January 2012 and every single minute of every single day I just keep thinking of him and missing him and yearning for him and I really cannot see beyond tomorrow. How do I carry on?? When will this pain end??? I could not have put the words on this poem any better .......it is exactly how I feel!!! Will the tears ever stop??? Will the pain ever ease???? How do I carry on???

• by Zaida Vansyckle, Las Vegas
• 7 years ago

On October 11 of 2011 my Jonathan killed himself with a shotgun to the head. That day I die with him. I miss him so much it hurts, no one can understand the pain and the why's that we have, why why why. just rattles in my brain. I now long for him and I want to see him every where. I look for him in the clouds I look for him on other kids that reminds me of him. What can I do to keep going and live with less pain?

• by Kilmberly
• 7 years ago

This poem said exactly how I feel my son's name is also Nicholas and I lost him in a tragic accident on 11/19/12. He was so beautiful inside and out and I will forever love and miss him. This poem says it all! I am so sorry for your loss and I feel your pain.

• by Deborah Robinson
• 8 years ago

I have just read this poem and it really puts into words everything I am feeling after the loss of my son 6 months ago. Does the ache every go away? And will the tears every stop?
Part of me hopes it never will. I too find comfort in expressing my feelings in poems, and I have put mine on this website as well.

• by Shirley, Canada
• 8 years ago

How this poem touches my heart. I lost my son Mike on Dec 28 2010 in an avalanche while he was snowmobiling with his dad and other family members. I miss him so much and am just looking for words from others that have lost a love one, that can maybe somehow help my hurting.

• by Tina Pielstick Poet
• 8 years ago

WOW, I read the poem I wrote to my Son Nicholas who died 10/23/08, and I realize I wrote this poem just 4 days shy of his 1 year Angelversary!!! And when I read it just now I CRIED MY EYES OUT AGAIN!!!! It is a very touching poem and I almost can't believe I wrote that, had I not lived the pain and the reality of his death, I never could have written such words, unfortunately....I am STILL living it....BUT, I'm still living!!!! Peace to you 2011, Tina~