Regret Poem

Relief From Feeling Alone Poem

Just moments and bouts of sadness. I draw my inspiration from my lack of direction, even though I attend a top ranked university, I still feel completely lost amongst myself and at home in sadness. I am NOT suicidal, nor do I intend to commit any harm against myself or other, this work is a purely fictional depiction, artful prose, and not actual facts or promises of events. The source of inspiration however, is painfully real...

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I am so blessed at this point in my life. I have a wonderful Son, who is a Firefighter and LT. I have 3 beautiful Grandchildren, who I see often. However...I am filled with so much guilt..so...

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Collusion Of Silence

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Published: December 2013

I live everyday with everlasting shame,
with everlasting regret,
with everlasting pain,
Why? What have I done to beget?
I don't forget, like a tight corset
of the pain that tightly constrains my soul
and turns my heart into deep, dark coal.

So there's nothing left to do,
except load this bullet and blow straight through.
For every somber moment,
every haphazard mistake,
every broken promise,
every failure,
all my doubt,
all my lost hope,
all my poisoned love,
can go straight through
the bullet hole I just blew.
Now, they can escape to the surface,
in hopes of a higher purpose, because I'm sadly through.

One bullet, one dream, one doubt,
and the one fire no one helped to put out.
So say goodbye,
and don't forget to say hi
to my demons passing by;
For I am Satan's now,
no matter how hard I cry.
No one can hear me anymore,
forever suffering, forever silent, forever I die.

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Ann King by Ann King
  • 3 years ago

I am so blessed at this point in my life. I have a wonderful Son, who is a Firefighter and LT. I have 3 beautiful Grandchildren, who I see often. However...I am filled with so much guilt..so much regret. When my Son was growing up, I was busy " partying", and always going out..my Son was really raised by his Paternal Grandmother. I tell him how sorry I am, how I wish I could go back,and be his " Mother". He says, I was a good Mother..why,oh why won't he say to " Me", Mom, I wish you were there? I know he feels I failed him! I am heartbroken. I love him so! We say " I love You", every time we speak.but I feel the pain we have. His Nana passed away when he was 23. ( he' s 37 now) He took her passing so badly...to this day, if her name is mentioned, his eyes begin to water..She was his Mother! I was too busy running around, having fun, when I should have been with him! I will try to find a poem to give to him..or I will finally write to him, and get it all out...oh how I regret all those lost years..
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