Empty Arms

• by Isabelle
• 4 years ago

I wake up in cold sweats around 3 a.m., and I think I heard your voice, but wait, it's my imagination again. For 16 years now, the 21st of July cannot pass by without me there waiting for that giggle and that midnight feeding. I wish this year could be different. Deep down inside I know it never will. The pain doesn't get better. Your twin sister is my constant reminder of you...she has her questions about you. Where do I start?

• by Shebill
• 5 years ago

I lost my darling daughter on 3/5/1973, due to stillbirth. No certification to prove she ever existed, never got to see her, hold her, kiss or smell her, to tell her I loved her and how much I would miss her. I had 3 further miscarriages, through no fault of my own and at differing stages. I never tried again, but I was lucky enough to be given a beautiful stepson at age 7, who is now 33 years old. He is the kindest, most thoughtful and brilliant young man. I feel truly blessed and often think some things are meant to be. I miss my babies each and every day, and hopefully we will meet again. In 2004 I had a major operation which resulted in 5 days in HDU. When I came round, I saw a young lady at the ward door. She waved at me and told me I would be fine. She then left. Was it my daughter? I will never know who she was!

• by Terry Bell
• 7 years ago

(12/29) is Rebekah Leah-Dian's 20th birthday. I went to the hospital on 12/26 to find Rebekah was gone at the beginning of her 7th month of my pregnancy. I tried to give birth each day till the 29th. Finally, 3 compressed seaweed sticks were inserted into my cervix to force dilation. (No food or water was offered for those 3 days.) Stillborn on the 29th and buried on New Year's Day. At the time I had an in home childcare and used it as an excuse to buy baby dolls, 1 of which I took out of the box and held in my arms on the drive back home by myself. Each night I slept with it and hid it from my hubby during the day for 1 month. I blamed myself, railed at God. (Thank you for understanding and loving me, Father.) I found that in sharing this story with others, it opens them up to share their pain with me as well. Like a tightly shut rosebud. Force it open and it shreds. Wait and it will open one petal (sharing story) at a time eventually for the world to see, fully vibrant and beautiful...

• by Derek Wellwood, Winnipeg
• 10 years ago

This reminds me of what I have done for the past 4 years since my son passed March 16th and surviving 36 hours of a painful life. I was so happy for him when he was born and i thought he would live. But after learning that he was 24 weeks gestation, that he had a hard fight ahead of him. When the doctor told us that he was suffering from 2 level 3 brain hemorrhages his mother and I made the tough decision to let him move on. Not easy seeing your baby hooked up to everything to keep him alive as well as morphine to kill the pain he was suffering. I have always been told that we never bury our children but that our children bury us, but that was a hard day to do. My heart will never be whole again until I am with him again.

• by Macksville
• 10 years ago

I was told that I could never fall pregnant due to my pituitary gland growing more than it should so it was a utter shock when I was waking up very sick every morning and my husband said I think your pregnant and I said NO I can't be. So off to the doctor and yep she said congratulations you're pregnant. Well I was on cloud nine for 12 days knowing I've got this 10 week old being growing inside me and then went for my 12 week scan and they told me that they couldn't find a heart beat so the radiologist said not to worry these things are sometimes faulty so they recommended a HCG blood test on the Friday and had to go back on the Monday for it again and the doctor rang me on the Tuesday and said that my baby had died over the weekend and being my body wasn't expelling my dead baby I then had to go into hospital and have it taken out. All I remember feeling was so empty inside numb and all I kept on thinking was it was my fault and what did I do to make my baby die or was it my body.

• by Krista Walker
• 10 years ago

I am sorry for everyone's loss. I have a story of my own to share. It was on September 12, 2013 when I loss my beautiful baby girl. I had been near someone that had the hand, foot, and mouth disease. I went in for a check up to see what I had. The doctors didn't catch it in time before I delivered my baby girl. I remember I was almost 21 weeks. I Just found out I was having a girl 2 days before she was born. I had just received many gifts from my mom the same day around 20 minutes before I left for the hospital to find out that my placenta had detached. I remember that I was so excited about having my first child, even though I am only 17 years old. Everyone was super excited. When I went to the hospital and the doctors told me the news that I was having a miscarriage. That was the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life. Knowing that I got to carry her for that long and being told that she wouldn't make it. That was the worst day of my entire life. I miss her so very much ):

• by Jen, VA
• 10 years ago

I lost my sweet 21 week old boy on 4/24/13..I was having a normal pregnancy and everything was right on schedule. I could feel him kicking and fluttering around and my morning sickness was starting to ease up...then one morning I went to the bathroom and noticed my water was bulging. I panicked and went straight to the hospital, but I was having contractions and was already 3cm dilated. I delivered the next day about 26 hrs after I arrived at the hospital...I could still feel him kicking and moving up until the final moments when I delivered. He was so tiny and perfect...I can still see his sweet face when I close my eyes, and I pray he felt my love every second of his short life, and continues to feel it today and always!

• by Rosita Hie, Sydney Australia
• 11 years ago

I have baby his Name is Ethan, Department of Community took him for temporary to foster parents house until I'm fix my problem visa and a proper accommodation they gave me visit contact 3 times a week for 2 hours than on 2010 they arrange meeting with my children court lawyer and my support caseworker and Department of Community caseworker on 2nd of June 2010, but before he died I'm met my baby on 28 of May 2010 he was a little happy baby boy never cranky when he was with me, suddenly on 31 of May 2010 he died at the foster parent house, he died with face laying down on his basinet cos his foster parent lay down on his back 45 degrees with hand tuck inside with Muslim wrap, he died on 30 of May 2010, I understand how is the feeling to all parents who loss the baby me too I just don't believe he died so soon

• by Ronita
• 11 years ago

I lost my son 3.3.09. I had an abortion I was 16. I was so terrified I thought giving my son Kyle up would have been really easy. Turned out it was the hardest thing to do. I wish I could have keep my son I miss him every single day I love him I was 5 months pregnant.

• by Stephanie Bacon, New Hampshire
• 11 years ago

On June 6, 2012 I went into labor at 20 weeks they gave me every excuse in the book of why they couldn't save my little boy, fact is that they left me in the ER for over 5 hours and didn't try to save my son, they forced delivery and I had my little boy even though his lungs weren't developed due to the early age his heart was still beating. It's the hardest thing to deal with I feel like I'm a nervous breakdown 24/7. One of the hardest things among the many is I've recently found out they could have done more to save my son, and they chose to look the other way, and the only way I get to bring my son home is in a box. I wrote down this poem to keep for myself, I removed the line about god because I'd like to think my baby is in a better place but I don't feel like a decent good god would give you a child just to remove them from your lives as fast as they came into them

• by Jessica
• 11 years ago

On Jan. 23, 2012 God finally blessed with a baby girl. My family was complete my 2 boys and now our little girl. Then 6 weeks later on March 6th, 2012 God called my little angel home. It seems like those are the memories I can see of my baby laying next to me lifeless. How could she go so soon. I would give anything to have my family back with our little angel.

• by Dahlia
• 11 years ago

My baby boy Angel was born asleep on his due date February 5,2007..the cord was wrapped around his neck twice.. My Angel would of been 5 years old I wonder what he would look like and how big he would now be. I miss him everyday. The years pass by but the pain remains. How quietly they tiptoed into our lives and only a moment they stayed but what an imprint their footprints have left upon our hearts....you will forever be missed but forever in mommys heart..Love you my baby boy Angel..

• by California
• 11 years ago

Your poem is so beautiful . I'm 16 years old and I was due May 16th this year and at 23 weeks I had an early birth my baby boy died an hour later. I constantly cry for him. Why did he have to be taken away from me ? Why does any baby die? I'm heart broken and as his due date approaches I find myself becoming even more depressed :( . RIP baby mommy loves you forever and always .

• by Sadaf Khan
• 12 years ago

I lost my 19 months son on 25th Dec 2010, its been 15 months to him now but still my tears won't stop. I don't know why it happens it's hard to get over this pain, I miss my lovely son so much, I wish I could hug him, hold him tight in my arms and never let him go back, Love you sooo much Dani, come back to me please

• by Delveen, Australia
• 12 years ago

Hi, I have had 5 miscarriages, one of which I will never EVER forget. My precious baby girl Sophiah. I was 16 1/2 weeks when I realized I had lost her. It happened over a period of 3 days, I started spotting on the Saturday, got worse on the Sunday & then by Monday morning it was like a tap had been turned on inside me. I went to my Dr. and he organized a scan and it showed my baby had no heart beat. Her heart had stopped at 12 1/2 weeks, so for 4 weeks that I thought I could feel my baby moving and kicking was actually my uterus contracting getting smaller. When I had a scan at 10 1/2 weeks she had such a good strong heart beat they said. She had a growth on the right side of her stomach but said that alone would not have stopped her heart. I went in to hospital on the Monday but because I was suffering so badly they thought it best to let me sleep through Monday night & they organized for me to give birth on the Tuesday. So Tuesday the 10th of November 2009, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. I held her in my arms, & would give the world just to have her back again.

• by Kristina, Phoenix
• 12 years ago

I had a miscarriage in July 2010. My due date was March 10th 2011 . I was about 10 weeks along. Right now I am having some trouble coping because my baby would be 1 next month

• by Sarah
• 12 years ago

I lost my baby girl, Beth. On July 22nd 2011. She was premature, by about a month. She lived for 20 minutes and in those twenty minutes, I watched as her life was sucked right out of her, minutes after she was born. I miss her so much. I am only 16 and I still cry every day because of it. I miss her so much.

• by Jamie
• 12 years ago

We lost our son May 3, 2006 he was almost 3 months old on May 3, 06 at 5 am my oldest who was 2 at the time woke me up for choc milk and I always check all my kids and he was beside me in his bassinet. I looked at him and he didn't look right so I rubbed his belly to get him to move and nothing then I noticed around his mouth was blue and that's when I started screaming at his dad to get up I couldn't touch him I was in shock and he was very hot! So his dad started CPR and I was on the phone with 911 they got there and ran with him and these guys was are good friends ! They was shocked They worked on him and never got him back and they said his temp was 104 and that was probablly coming off of 112! he ended up having Acute Bronchial Pneumonia and the Dr. didn't catch it. She seen him may 2nd at like 2 pm not even 24 hours later he passed away. She went and changed her paper work and put that his lungs was clear and she told me they wasn't so when she left the ER that's what she did

• by Vanessa, Dallas Tx
• 12 years ago

My son Ramesses was born with a heart defect on Dec. 7, 2010. He had to have open heart surgery just to give him a fighting chance. He finally got to come home with us 1-6-11 unfortunately he passed away Jan. 25, 2011. I hold on as tight as I can to all the memories we had. I miss my baby boy so much. I cant wait till we meet again and give him all the love I possibly can.

• by Jacqueline
• 13 years ago

I lost my son Joseph at 39 weeks he was a full term stillborn. I never forget about his little face when I held him. I now have an angel son so precious and sweet. I miss him everyday! Wondering how he would be growing missing out on him playing with his siblings. My family would have been complete. Now I feel empty each day.

• by Sheila Jennings, Wales
• 13 years ago

My baby Teresa died aged 1 year 2 weeks of spina bifida, she was a little angel and I believe God sent her to me as a special gift to keep for a short time, her life and death made me a stronger, more sympathetic person and I will treasure her memory for ever.

• by Haidee
• 13 years ago

I am so so sorry for every ones loss, on the 28th June 2010 my Lil boy Alfie was born completely healthy, I woke one morning 5th December 2010 and my son was lifeless at just 5 months old, I also have a 2 year old boy and its hard for me to grieve over my baby because I now my older son is hurting too, but he doesn't understand where his little brother has gone. miss you Alfie so much x

• by Amanda
• 13 years ago

I lost my son on August 19,2010. He was born on Aug 3,2010. I had him at 27 weeks. He weighed 2lbs 5oz. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through. He was so beautiful. He was such a strong baby. Not only was he premature but he had liver failure. I am so sorry for all of you, but we just have to remember they are our angels now and will always watch over us. We will see them again when its our time. We just have to stay strong.

• by Gelina
• 13 years ago

My baby boy died in Dec 1998 after taking ill on boxing day with Meningitis. He died 2 days later. He was nearly 14 months. Today, the 3rd of November, he would have been 13, 12 years later and the pain is still unbareable, but it is part of me now and I've learned to live with it. Love you my precious boy. X

• by Breanna, KY
• 13 years ago

I lost my daughter on 5-26-2010, I wasn't due until August 7. I am only 17 but that doesn't even matter of how people feel. it is the hardest thing I have ever went through. She was on 2lbs 5oz. She had a chromosome disorder called Trisomy 13 this is a touching poem.

• by Mindi, Iowa
• 13 years ago

I lost my son, 5-31-2010. I was due in two weeks (38 weeks gestation) and noticed he wasn't moving. There was no heart beat when we arrived at the hospital. He was 5lbs 8oz and beautiful. There was a knot in the cord that cut off his oxygen supply. Losing him is so painful. I feel so empty. I am sooooo sorry for anyone who has had to experience this. We are looking for a poem to put on his headstone at the cemetery.

• by Naomi, Hampshire
• 13 years ago

I was 15 years old when I lost my baby girl I carried her full term too, every night I gaze up to the sky looking for my angel. when I see that one bright star in the sky I know that's my baby girl looking down at me and it makes me smile.

• by Kim
• 13 years ago

7 nearly 8 years ago I lost my baby girl at 18 weeks gestation, now my friend has lost her baby at 24 weeks pregnant.... it is so sad and now I feel the pain for her and myself all over again

• by Bernice, New Zealand
• 13 years ago

I too will search for my baby Isobel through the universe, until the end of time. She was one month old and the most beautiful creature I have seen on this earth.

• by Louise
• 14 years ago

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my little girl 2 weeks ago she lived for only 2 days but I long for her so much the reason I am on here is looking for a poem to be read at her funeral. My love to those mums without a baby to love

• by Jennifer
• 14 years ago

I jus lost my baby... she was a beautiful little girl who came too early. She was born on Dec. 31, 2009 at about 20 weeks gestation. I miss her greatly and this poems shows exactly how I feel.

• by krystal
• 14 years ago

I too have lost a baby. I was 3 1/2 months pregnant and then one day I had lost my baby. May 1, 2009 is that fateful day. I am writing this because October 27, 2009 is the day my baby would have been born. The more that day October 27 creeps up, it is trying to remind me of what I don't have. What is never going to be. Thank you for this poem, it is beautiful. How does one stop hurting after this has happened to them?

• by Nina
• 15 years ago

I am SO sorry for your loss! A woman I work with was 8 1/2 months along and one day at work, she felt pain and went to the doctor to find that her son had passed. I think about it and I hear about other women who've experienced the loss of a child and I don't think there's a more devastating experience and I can't imagine going through what you are going through! You are a very strong woman and hopefully, some day you will be reunited with your child. My condolences...

• by arlene
• 15 years ago

I lost my son on Oct 26 2008 I felt like my world would end